tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post5449425218966164986..comments2023-12-28T13:11:06.666+00:00Comments on Pics and Poems: InitiationDave Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-47842159580172168582011-07-25T14:22:17.483+01:002011-07-25T14:22:17.483+01:00Tess
Hi, forgive the tardiness in replying. Much t...<b>Tess</b><br />Hi, forgive the tardiness in replying. Much thanks for the comment.<br /><br /><b>poetpeteet</b><br />Hi, and a warm welcome to you, late though I am in getting b ack, for which humble apologies.<br />I am very appreciative of your comments. The static electricity bit came from Humbold. He witnessed children on the banks of the Orinoco playing with static electricity which they derived from large seed pods. I reasoned that if the children had it and used it, the priests probably were not far behind.<br /><br /><b>Bee's Blog</b><br />Again, apologies for the delay. As for the drum beats: I can live with that. Going faster and faster sounds good to me. Thanks for the comment.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-92060799633442453322011-07-24T22:23:11.963+01:002011-07-24T22:23:11.963+01:00I read it faster and faster to the beat of drums. ...I read it faster and faster to the beat of drums. Maybe not what you intended but what I saw was a ritual and rituals involve drum beats.The Blog of Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00650938872732748697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-10616032866677051062011-07-21T11:10:47.351+01:002011-07-21T11:10:47.351+01:00"Death of childhood
ancient apps
child become..."Death of childhood<br />ancient apps<br />child becomes a man perhaps."<br />Love the modern /primitive play here and the "perhaps";skewers the unspoken assumption of progress without quite killing it.The info of ancient use of static electricity is fascinating.Was that enlightenment or or delusion?You chop words and carry meaning well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-67638411927183577152011-07-20T18:18:22.985+01:002011-07-20T18:18:22.985+01:00I like the bite of the electricity in this one, Da...I like the bite of the electricity in this one, Dave. Very nice.Tess Kincaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04889725786678984293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-32242310932996397332011-07-20T12:17:22.467+01:002011-07-20T12:17:22.467+01:00Tommaso
Wow again. I'm all overcome! Thanks fo...<b>Tommaso</b><br />Wow again. I'm all overcome! Thanks for the compliment.<br /><br /><b>barbara </b><br />Welcome to you and many many thanks for visiting and for your comment. <br /><br /><b>Suz </b><br />Hi! It's really good to have you visiting and commenting. Thanks for your remarks.<br /><br /><b>Windsmoke </b><br />Thanks. I have to confess, I blanched a bit!<br /><br /><b>The Fool </b><br />A warm welcome and much thanks for your visit and your comments, which are really useful.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-91798003670814822452011-07-20T11:41:47.418+01:002011-07-20T11:41:47.418+01:00Gerry
A great response - right down to the word v...<b> Gerry</b><br />A great response - right down to the word verification. Thanks.<br /><br /><b>Theodore </b><br />Hi, welcome to you and many thanks for the comment. So sorry about the coffee!<br /><br /><b>Jim </b><br />I can understand your mystification, Jim. I started out with the thought that the poem would be in two parts: the first its effect upon the wearer and the second the way in which it would frighten. intimidate, whatever those to be initiated. The first part would have a dance rhythm, but not the second. In the event I did not focus on that distinction, but, yes, something of it remaines in the structure, which must be regarded as a weakness, I think.<br /><br />With regards to the content I was trying to put it into a modern context. I was reading recently that some ancient medicine men probably had use of powerful charges of static electricity.<br /><br />Appreciate the comments, much there upon which to reflect. Thanks.<br /><br /><b>Mary </b><br />Guess so - amazing what a mask can hide!<br /><br /><b>Carl </b><br />Thanks for that, good to know - I hope that's the way you meant it! Much thanks.<br /><br /><b>mypoeticlicense </b><br />Hi. Good to have you visiting and commenting. Thanks for doing so. The comment will be useful to me.<br /><br /><b>Laurie </b><br />I'm glad you found that they did that. The comment is really appreciated.<br /><br /><b>Rachna </b><br />Hi and welcome. Thank you so much for your kind words.<br /><br /><b>Kathe W </b><br />Hi, it's really good and encouraging to have your comment. Thank you.<br /><br /><b> Kaykuala</b><br />Thank you so much for a useful response. It is much appreciated.<br /><br /><b>120 Socks </b><br />Thank you for another valued comment.<br /><br /><b>Ann </b><br />Hi Ann. Really good to have you and your comments on the blog. I like your stream of consciousness analogy and I share the hope for mankind.<br /><br /><b>Helen </b><br />It was the image which packed the original punch, of course. Thanks a lot for the comment.<br /><br /><b>Jingle </b><br />Too kind.<br /><br /><b>Other Mary </b><br />Pass. Profound thought. Thanks for it and a warm welcome to you.<br /><br /><b>Weaver of Grass </b><br />Yes, it does have something of that - actually, what I had in mind seemed darker than that, but only viwed from our standpointDave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-1734272720168476622011-07-20T03:23:26.669+01:002011-07-20T03:23:26.669+01:00Real powerful words capture raw emotions conjured...Real powerful words capture raw emotions conjured by the mask. These words synch extremely well with the image of the mask.T F Carthickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417105427125776020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-79621889671698091022011-07-19T22:57:43.501+01:002011-07-19T22:57:43.501+01:00Very enjoyable, i especially like the line "e...Very enjoyable, i especially like the line "electrodes on the genitals" that made me shiver and wince :-).Windsmoke.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12225394580987872677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-6157161787939645762011-07-19T22:07:50.333+01:002011-07-19T22:07:50.333+01:00whirling dervishes came to mind
the twirling movem...whirling dervishes came to mind<br />the twirling movement of this poem was fun to readSuzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10329289442910294160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-64662667760168571282011-07-19T22:06:39.886+01:002011-07-19T22:06:39.886+01:00I like the way you whirl the sounds. That dark tu...I like the way you whirl the sounds. That dark turn is vicious-good.barbarahttp://briarcat.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-17293717495089014032011-07-19T19:18:13.000+01:002011-07-19T19:18:13.000+01:00Powerful with echoes from Sylvia Plath this time D...Powerful with echoes from Sylvia Plath this time Dave.Tommaso Gervasuttihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17137499390434949734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-81872006361720921272011-07-19T18:51:33.929+01:002011-07-19T18:51:33.929+01:00This has a touch of "eye of newt and toe of f...This has a touch of "eye of newt and toe of frog" about it Dave. Very apt with that mask I think.The Weaver of Grasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13947971556343746883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-62197665645233753772011-07-19T17:19:04.451+01:002011-07-19T17:19:04.451+01:00Why do we fear demons when we have each other to f...Why do we fear demons when we have each other to fear?Other Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09189646933597252108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-77920953942995388022011-07-19T16:00:37.025+01:002011-07-19T16:00:37.025+01:00profound.profound.Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01546696605935159862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-58848043523213311262011-07-19T15:44:23.988+01:002011-07-19T15:44:23.988+01:00Your poem packs even more of a punch with the imag...Your poem packs even more of a punch with the image loaded ~ though I don't know if that's even possible. A gripping Magpie, electrifying.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16619199535376925989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-19192234265616976792011-07-19T15:41:34.123+01:002011-07-19T15:41:34.123+01:00Perfect tone for this frightening mask. Would sure...Perfect tone for this frightening mask. Would surely fit a torturer.<br />Feels like stream of consciousnes and/or an impressionist painting, in dark tones. Like the sprinkled rhymes. Let's hope mankind's outcome is a brighter :-)Ann Grenierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13501522748426995035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-54278041503975722462011-07-19T15:30:03.236+01:002011-07-19T15:30:03.236+01:00this prompt is certainly not for the faint hearted...this prompt is certainly not for the faint hearted - your poem certainly reflected the harsh sharpness. powerful for sure.Louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05912071192179983603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-41706332486087893132011-07-19T15:20:17.210+01:002011-07-19T15:20:17.210+01:00Dave,
Like your style, keeping with the rhyme ini...Dave, <br />Like your style, keeping with the rhyme initially and open poetry later. Good combination and great verse.kaykualahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03240206222973305395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-66442318257724758802011-07-19T15:15:38.479+01:002011-07-19T15:15:38.479+01:00packs a powerful punch- especially the last two l...packs a powerful punch- especially the last two linesKathe W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06781645436343424010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-31781934322909306862011-07-19T14:56:17.168+01:002011-07-19T14:56:17.168+01:00Dave....this poem is pretty sharp, its like cuttin...Dave....this poem is pretty sharp, its like cutting/slicing someone with words. Each word packs a punch and hits home hard.Rachna Chhabriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16900999965919504282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-79109518491160128492011-07-19T13:28:50.843+01:002011-07-19T13:28:50.843+01:00I love how the short lines read so fast and build ...I love how the short lines read so fast and build up to the final 'zap.'Laurie Kolphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07494759781947881343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-84125153375208581252011-07-19T13:26:50.935+01:002011-07-19T13:26:50.935+01:00I loved watching your thought process unravel down...I loved watching your thought process unravel down the page with bits of rhyme and so much rhythm.<br /><br />- DinaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-18617662114474865642011-07-19T13:04:06.930+01:002011-07-19T13:04:06.930+01:00Intense and strong images. Not one I will soon fo...Intense and strong images. Not one I will soon forget.Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09751363280115223716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-54432794162463135912011-07-19T12:58:00.948+01:002011-07-19T12:58:00.948+01:00Whew, impressively vivid. All that came from the ...Whew, impressively vivid. All that came from the picture of the mask!Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07366010389846904663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-87870861843841397162011-07-19T10:52:35.646+01:002011-07-19T10:52:35.646+01:00I’m curious about the structure here. In the first...I’m curious about the structure here. In the first stanza you use longer lines including two strong beats in each and yet you pretty much abandon that by the last stanza. Had this been my piece I would have opted for one or the other but my preference would be for two beats to a line:<br /><br /> <b>D</b>ark of ark / and <b>f</b>inal art<br /> <b>f</b>ear uncaged / a <b>l</b>ightning strike<br /><br />As for the content. Didn’t see the bit about the electrodes coming. Overall an odd tone, the strong rhythmic element at odds (deliberately I would think) with the content. By that I mean that you’d expect beating drums and the like with a primitive tribal initiation but this is clearly something modern. It’s an uncomfortable little piece but I like it.<br /><br>Jim Murdochhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12786388638146471193noreply@blogger.com