A New Year Party at the Patents Office

I went as Boadicea, not having been before.

In party hats the hopefuls came
(and most - like me - in fancy dress),
all bearing plans they hoped would claim
the world for sense and hope again
and somehow save it from the mess
that's dumped it on the floor.

For good or ill, for right or wrong,
a polar bear had brought along
a high-tech hot air cooler.

From Lion King, a mini thing:
a plastic bendy ruler --
a sensible,
a flexible,
a universal proxy-King.

Three owls wore hats -
and two had spats -
with mottoes penned in inks
(that many thought were drivel):
viz: see no evil; hear no evil;
evil is as evil thinks.

The first had messages in mind
that get too mixed, as M.Ps. find:
When spin has spun beyond controls,
said he, and digging's dug too many holes,
this Sat-Nav could reset their goals.

The next, with gismo, super-fixed
a broken promise - seamlessly.

The third - grotesquely -
brought to bear
an anti-doctrinaire
device.

Words like"vice"
spurred a baboon
to promise soon
a dirty-tricks hard water washer.

A long-eared bat
was topping that,
with smart-arse fast detosher.

Then from a tiger's sabre tooth
to swell the nation's stock of truth
there came a touch of righteous wit -
a moral spunk resuscer kit.

This year, a lowly lambkin said,
has been a perfect shocker.
Here's my device - a yah-boo-to-your-party blocker.

An ostrich came, who lacking guts,
had brought no plans because of cuts.

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To all of you: the very best of all Good new Years.