Monday, 18 July 2011

Two Haiku and a double Haiku


nine feet and climbing
the sunflowers are leaning
away from the wind




among all the cars
two boys bounce on pogo sticks -
drivers unhappy




dreaming in the night
a tray stacked with crockery
dropped by a waiter

whilst lying awake
my wife hears the sound of it
above the high wind
at

15 comments:

  1. Rachel Green18 July 2011 at 08:58

    All three are delightful but for me, the first has the clearest visual.

    Thanks for writing them, Dave, that will stay with me all day!

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  2. Anonymous18 July 2011 at 09:15

    a adore the dreaming waiter

    julie

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  3. Mary18 July 2011 at 12:56

    What fun! I can just see those boys on pogo sticks... I used to have one.

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  4. David Cranmer18 July 2011 at 14:25

    Sharp phrasing, Dave.

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  5. The Weaver of Grass18 July 2011 at 15:09

    Pogo sticks and cars definitely do not go together Dave! That last double haiku is interesting too.

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  6. kaykuala18 July 2011 at 15:17

    Haiku galore , nice and real. Sets the pace for thinking haiku.

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  7. Rose18 July 2011 at 21:35

    Delightful double haiku! And I simply love the sunflower one.

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  8. Windsmoke.18 July 2011 at 22:52

    Very vivid imagery in the first Haiku. I could just imagine these boys bouncing around on pogo sticks it would make a great comedy skit on tv very humourous. Smashing crockery would wake the dead :-).

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  9. Brian Miller19 July 2011 at 03:45

    ha i can imagine why on the pogo sticks...nice blend through these...

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  10. Dave King19 July 2011 at 09:46

    Leatherdykeuk
    And thanks for that heart-gladdening comment.

    hull of a city
    I was intrigued, as I always am by carry over between sleep and wakefulness - however it happens.

    Mary
    It wasn't universally seen as fun, though!

    David
    Much thanks.

    The Weaver of Grass
    I'm with you on the first, glad about the second.

    kaykuala
    Yes, good point. You have to be ina haiku state of mind, I think. Thanks for the thought.

    Rose
    Really good to know. Thanks for saying.

    Windsmoke
    Either comment could apply to either, of course - mutatis mutandis!

    Brian
    Thanks for that. Much appreciated.

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  11. Helen19 July 2011 at 15:45

    I am putty in your hands when you present us with haiku ... ahhhhhh

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  12. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall19 July 2011 at 16:01

    love your Haiku, brilliant.

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  13. Chronicles of Illusions19 July 2011 at 20:57

    I love the way this dances through the words. :)

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  14. Ricky Guanlao21 July 2011 at 01:17

    Nice one!

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  15. Scarlet26 July 2011 at 13:47

    i am just learning the haiku forms, and yours are really beautiful...

    its nice to try different forms of writing ~

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