tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post7007905026521258282..comments2023-12-28T13:11:06.666+00:00Comments on Pics and Poems: The River : three poemsDave Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-64083933768244034622012-02-28T13:48:00.318+00:002012-02-28T13:48:00.318+00:00I like each of your verses but I find the third on...I like each of your verses but I find the third one really striking. It's spare and tight and leaves room for the mind to wander its infinite possibilities.jabbloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12176958811589489979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-91890831788154428552012-02-28T09:30:33.720+00:002012-02-28T09:30:33.720+00:00A wonderful sculpt Dave - love all three but adore...A wonderful sculpt Dave - love all three but adore the original!<br /><br />Anna :o]hyperCRYPTICalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11967085628384237933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-38087067470301333382012-02-27T18:37:22.245+00:002012-02-27T18:37:22.245+00:00Dave ..the middle one really speaks to me in a way...Dave ..the middle one really speaks to me in a way that the other don't...though I like them also...will read all again and try to work out what it is that grabs me in the middle poem.Gerry Snapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07269492251928362799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-24851043678481276392012-02-27T11:24:21.563+00:002012-02-27T11:24:21.563+00:00Madeleine
Thank you so much. Sorry I missed you ea...<b>Madeleine</b><br />Thank you so much. Sorry I missed you earlier.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-51170478230435630262012-02-27T11:20:26.650+00:002012-02-27T11:20:26.650+00:00The Elephant's Child
Much thanks .
Claudia
...<b>The Elephant's Child </b><br />Much thanks .<br /><br /><b>Claudia </b><br />Thanks. Must say I really enjoyed this one.<br /><br /><b>The Weaver of Grass </b><br />Yes, thanks for this. I do love water - rivers, seas, lakes, whatever. I hadn't realised your rivers were the Ure and Swale, though. I had them out East, running into the Humber!<br /><br /><b>Leatherdykeuk </b><br />Thanks for saying so.<br /><br /><b>Hank</b><br />Good to have your comment.<br /><br /><b>Ravenblack </b><br />Hi, and a warm welcome to you. It's really good to have such an informative comment. Thank you so much for it.<br /><br /><b>rch </b><br />Thank you for saying this. It is interesting - and helpful - to know how others think.<br /><br /><b>poetrydiary </b><br />Hi, Good to have you visiting and to have such thought-provoking comments. Thank you for yours, I shall give it some consideration.<br /><br /><b>Brian </b><br />Thanks for this. I think I more and more favour the spare, but it's good to hear.<br /><br /><b>Manicddaily </b><br />Thank you so much for your detailed comments. I too see it as a work in progress, feel that there is more that could be done to it. I originally conceived it as one poem and thought the three sections might be successively slimmed down (worn away) by the action of the river. It was too ambitious for the time I had available. It might be too ambitious. Full stop. Streamlining, though, does have attractions to it. Thanks again for such a valuable input.<br /><br /><b>Heaven </b><br />Thanks for this comment. Much appreciated.<br /><br /><b>Charles </b><br />Much thanks for this. The quote from Heraclitus strikes me as profound and apt - and I have often toyed with attempting something on the Amazon - and the Orinoco. Thanks again.<br /><br /><b>Laurie </b><br />I guess we just have to keep chipping away! Much thanks for this, Laurie.<br /><br /><b>Ygraine </b><br />Thanks. yes, I think I would choose the middle one also. I might start again with that one.<br /><br /><b>hedgewitch </b><br />Thank you so very much for this. I am fascinated by the characteristics you find in the three poems. You may have read in mine to Manicddaily that I had conceived the post as one poem, but couldn't bring it off. Interesting, too, your note on your drafts. My first is often just that: notes or facts that I have collected. I write them down in some rough order to see what they suggest.<br /><br /><b>Yousei </b><br />A warm welcome to you and thank you for this great response. I think we cannot always know the good that such comments do.<br /><br /><b>stu mcp </b><br />grateful thanks for this. I find it most encouraging.<br /><br /><b>Tommaso </b><br />You have just sent me back to the work. I am flattered that I reminded you of it, but thanks.<br /><br /><b>Windsmoke </b><br />That's fabulous. I didn't know that, of course. Fascinating!<br /><br /><b>Victoria </b><br />Thanks for this . I think I'd have to say the second.<br /><br /><b>Blue Flute </b><br />I am really encouraged by your words. Thank you so much for them. Good to have you visiting.<br /><br /><b>Mary </b><br />Much thanks.<br /><br /><b>oceangirl </b><br />Hi and welcome to you. Thank you for your valued comment.<br /><br /><b>Muhammad </b><br />Wow, not sure what I've done to deserve this, but I do thank you for it, most sincerely. really good to have your company.<br /><br /><b>haricot </b><br />That's good. Thank you so much.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-78753013349998124602012-02-27T07:50:43.157+00:002012-02-27T07:50:43.157+00:00I like to see any river, and your words attract me...I like to see any river, and your words attract me as if I'm seeing one now.haricothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14052133324297115131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-53691505921144276022012-02-27T05:52:07.607+00:002012-02-27T05:52:07.607+00:00i wish i could write like you then definitely i wo...i wish i could write like you then definitely i would have written a poet about Dave King - the poet who think and dream in poetry :)Misterio Vidahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04396947981573285341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-71413177474691679052012-02-27T02:29:33.073+00:002012-02-27T02:29:33.073+00:00You sculpt and resculpt, just like the master. Be...You sculpt and resculpt, just like the master. Beautiful poems.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02399300464457820101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-27115395660593239842012-02-27T00:50:55.495+00:002012-02-27T00:50:55.495+00:00Impressive, Dave! Well sculpted.Impressive, Dave! Well sculpted.Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07366010389846904663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-86010808210568789842012-02-26T23:55:24.505+00:002012-02-26T23:55:24.505+00:00Interesting to go through the drafts of the poem a...Interesting to go through the drafts of the poem and watch each one become more precise and powerful. Really illustrates the sculpting process, of nature, the hand, and words.Frank Watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11512960953837979822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-19206756668052344512012-02-26T22:21:14.776+00:002012-02-26T22:21:14.776+00:00I'm hard-pressed to single out which one I pre...I'm hard-pressed to single out which one I prefer. But it was fun to see how you worked through the process. Which one do you like best?Victoriahttp://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-77831607028437518272012-02-26T19:54:12.471+00:002012-02-26T19:54:12.471+00:00I can relate to Eliots "strong brown god"...I can relate to Eliots "strong brown god" as our own Yarra River which courses through Melbourne is called the upside down river by us locals because it seems the river bed is on top and not down below where it should be :-).Windsmoke.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12225394580987872677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-11233561766005108012012-02-26T19:06:51.265+00:002012-02-26T19:06:51.265+00:00"The river is within us, the sea is all about..."The river is within us, the sea is all about us;"<br /><br />Thank you Dave for reminding me of these lines and The Dry Salvages which have never left me since I was twenty.Tommaso Gervasuttihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17137499390434949734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-74759042627279482862012-02-26T18:40:29.981+00:002012-02-26T18:40:29.981+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Tommaso Gervasuttihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17137499390434949734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-6105644369701621512012-02-26T18:06:17.997+00:002012-02-26T18:06:17.997+00:00Really nice to see these words get 'sculpted&#...Really nice to see these words get 'sculpted'. Nice to see your thought processes and refinement also. I think the end product works very well indeed- nice words my friend!stu mcp (hate & hope)http://www.poemsofhateandhope.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-73527688507111629052012-02-26T16:20:50.001+00:002012-02-26T16:20:50.001+00:00I liked each one until I read the next one. I lov...I liked each one until I read the next one. I love this process. I remember reading some of Tolkien's drafts. It feels like we catch glimpses of genius.<br /><br />Thank you for visiting and luring me back for a very good read.Yousei Himehttp://tasmith1122.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-13091001266612984232012-02-26T15:47:18.738+00:002012-02-26T15:47:18.738+00:00Really interesting, David. I do this a lot with my...Really interesting, David. I do this a lot with my poems--in your case though, each one is almost a different beast--and I can't really pick one over another--the first one seemed excellent, discursive, conversational, the second, forceful and mysterious, the last one declarative and emphatic--all clear and effective shots of the subject matter. I often think of my first scribblings as 'notes' they're so basic--not so here. Excellent writing, much enjoyed it.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-38063660180757665042012-02-26T15:25:37.828+00:002012-02-26T15:25:37.828+00:00I love all three, but the middle one is my favouri...I love all three, but the middle one is my favourite.<br />It evokes such vivid images of a river in full flow.<br />Wonderful :)Ygrainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00300519608303898969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-51222505245135572642012-02-26T15:25:01.228+00:002012-02-26T15:25:01.228+00:00Amazing what a little sculpting can do... which I ...Amazing what a little sculpting can do... which I know is very hard. I'm impressed, Dave!Laurie Kolphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07494759781947881343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-49310351180665798792012-02-26T14:44:56.121+00:002012-02-26T14:44:56.121+00:00What a great idea, to show the river and poem as p...What a great idea, to show the river and poem as process, poem becoming its object of reflection. Heraclitus said you can't step into the same river twice. Interesting how your poems reflect this simple but profound truth. I've always been fascinated by rivers, flooding, and the origins of civilization. From the Tigris and Euphrates to the Nile, rivers and their regularities as well as their chaos shape us so intimately in who we have become as beings. Then there's the Amazon! What a behemoth, shirking off pretense to civility!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08784125345525784337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-80165685204427192752012-02-26T14:34:50.848+00:002012-02-26T14:34:50.848+00:00The river poems are a great metaphors to use. I t...The river poems are a great metaphors to use. I think its a challenge to capture and try to sculpt it in our hands. And I like the ending line..to start again ~Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03330793338813508704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-70878944434193799962012-02-26T13:04:10.760+00:002012-02-26T13:04:10.760+00:00A very interesting idea to re-tell in three versio...A very interesting idea to re-tell in three versions. It seems to me that this is still in progress. I think it works, but might be open to some revision to pick and choose even a bit more of what's repeated and refined, only because the repeated sections are quite long, and it may be useful to streamline, as it were, even more. This is just a thought because I think we all write poems that are on the long side-- understandable when blogging because we are posting very quickly after creation. <br /><br />I do think it works, as is, but also that the idea is so strong that you haven't finished with it. I love the idea of sculpting limestone to metaphor. K.Manicddailyhttp://manicddaily.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-28264246662800652112012-02-26T13:00:52.171+00:002012-02-26T13:00:52.171+00:00it does gain more focus as you chip away at it...w...it does gain more focus as you chip away at it...well played good sir in the form and in the metaphor as well...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-54188280605557306672012-02-26T12:57:58.779+00:002012-02-26T12:57:58.779+00:00I think these get better and better - it would be ...I think these get better and better - it would be interesting to keep going until you feel you've gone too far...poetrydiaryhttp://www.poetry-diary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-5348577894190800072012-02-26T12:53:19.299+00:002012-02-26T12:53:19.299+00:00I love playing with words and trying to use them e...I love playing with words and trying to use them economically so enjoy the whole post, but I really like the first best, have a nice day.rchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10390033530066470195noreply@blogger.com