tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post7717913552191858486..comments2023-12-28T13:11:06.666+00:00Comments on Pics and Poems: What to put in, what to leave out...Dave Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-18405564031020326452009-07-21T01:49:37.527+01:002009-07-21T01:49:37.527+01:00Very interesting to see the way you think and the ...Very interesting to see the way you think and the procedures you used. :)readingsully2https://www.blogger.com/profile/07786787369521778515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-4469579063861532762009-07-16T14:31:06.802+01:002009-07-16T14:31:06.802+01:00Tara
I am sure that is absolutely right, what you...<b>Tara </b><br />I am sure that is absolutely right, what you say. It is something I think about constantly: when to stop messing, how much to rely on the original flow of words. It was just that in this case, after posting it I had the awful feeling that in this case I might have made the opposite error. Thanks for your reassurance.<br /><br /><b>Inspiration for Writers </b><br />Welcome to my blog, and yes, I am sure that is entirely correct. Thank you for commenting.<br /><br /><b>Adrian </b><br />Thanks for that.<br /><br /><b>David </b><br />Thanks, as I said above, I've come to think I was making heavy weather opf it.<br /><br /><b>Karen </b><br />from winnowing... I like that, the phrase says it exactly. Thank you for the easing the mind's wild ferment.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-30146827708572410532009-07-16T03:10:50.796+01:002009-07-16T03:10:50.796+01:00Dave - Seldom, but sometimes, my poems will seem t...Dave - Seldom, but sometimes, my poems will seem to spring organically. Most often, they result from winnowing. Writing poetry requires many more decisions than other sorts of writing, I think. What we exclude is as important as the things we leave.<br /><br />As for your tribute, I thought it was a lovely sonnet that did exactly what it should have done.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12003379181294550035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-86766126560441038242009-07-16T01:17:42.334+01:002009-07-16T01:17:42.334+01:00The poem as written is perfect.The poem as written is perfect.David Cranmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04749857752139212888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-81821475382966331922009-07-15T23:28:26.832+01:002009-07-15T23:28:26.832+01:00Very interesting to read Dave, really good.Very interesting to read Dave, really good.LR Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01634383283728817474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-63562055530384298402009-07-15T21:32:44.993+01:002009-07-15T21:32:44.993+01:00Thanks for the post. This is something writers hav...Thanks for the post. This is something writers have to learn to evaluate. Sometimes what you leave out says more than what you include.Inspiration for Writers, Inc.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027618108895050765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-29280246834238535822009-07-15T18:57:04.971+01:002009-07-15T18:57:04.971+01:00It was beautiful the way you wrote it. Sometimes I...It was beautiful the way you wrote it. Sometimes I think writers overthink some things and change the fabric of the weave to the point that the piece doesn't resemble the beauty it could have.Tara McClendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07246124060126729229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-50516129829453349892009-07-15T14:07:42.516+01:002009-07-15T14:07:42.516+01:00Niamh B
Welcome to my blog and very many thanks f...<b>Niamh B </b><br />Welcome to my blog and very many thanks for the generous comments. Yes, that is true: there always is something more that could be said. Back to knowing what to leave out!<br /><br /><b>Magdalena</b><br />Welcome, too, and many thanks for your most gracious comments. I don't quite recognise mtself in all that, but, again, many thanks.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-58185862734346511742009-07-15T13:37:26.635+01:002009-07-15T13:37:26.635+01:00Brilliant, just brilliant! The poem itself, and th...Brilliant, just brilliant! The poem itself, and then your way back to the process of creation. Your recent post is the best, but still very unique, proof, that the best art must contain two basic elements: inspiration from the depth, or as we sometimes say - from haeven, and highly developed technics, workshop. Only one of those would not work for the real art. I feel honored that I can say my congratulations to you. I did not know, what I'm missing not reading your blog carefully before. Thank you, good luck and see you :-)daijojihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10141497378516984525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-1708065434510992742009-07-15T12:00:26.688+01:002009-07-15T12:00:26.688+01:00Very sad story - and a beautiful poem - a nice tri...Very sad story - and a beautiful poem - a nice tribute for him, and an interesting analysis - there's always more to be said isn't there?Niamh Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06519443787482685320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-75059793065309874722009-07-15T11:02:41.564+01:002009-07-15T11:02:41.564+01:00maekitso
A couple of really interesting points yo...<b>maekitso </b><br />A couple of really interesting points you make there. Thank you for the. I shall ponder them, be sure. The additional piece with different choices seems very close to my half-suggestion of a double sonnet. Thanks again.<br /><br /><b>Lori Ann </b><br />Welcome to my blog and thank you for your gracious remarks.<br /><br /><b>Jim </b><br />Synchronicity strikes again, it seems! <br /><br />I like your point: what would there be for the reader to do if everything was explained. In the normal course of events there would be no question: I would agree 100%, my only doubt was whether there are occasions (occasional poems) when that imperative (I think it almost is) might become inappropriate, other considerations having taken precedence. (I am aware that I am beginning to make heavy weather of this issue.)<br /><br /> I also take the point that pushing such a consideration to it's logical conclusion I would have to write a biography. Don't worry, I didn't know him well enough for that!<br /><br />Suggestion does seem to fill the bill. <br /><br />I shall look forward to reading your post. Thanks for the pains you have taken over this.<br /><br /><b>A Cuban in London </b><br />I fully agree with your first sentence. In fact, all this began because I became interested in the process I had gone through. But above all, thank you for your conclusion. Like most of my replies and correspondence, it is most reassuring.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-51019552204860656992009-07-15T09:41:34.704+01:002009-07-15T09:41:34.704+01:00It's always ever so interesting to see what go...It's always ever so interesting to see what goes on in the brain when involved in art-making. I did not know who Dean was but when I read your poem that last line on which I remarked left a deep impression on me. I have just read it again after your explanation (yes, thanks for the pop-up window for comments, it makes it easier) and it is not surprising that out of all the information you had the poem was whittled down to fourteen lines. You have Dean's essence there and that's what mattters.<br /><br />Many thanks.<br /><br />Greetings from London.A Cuban In Londonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16423293358605007539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-56507181886642347912009-07-15T07:40:01.880+01:002009-07-15T07:40:01.880+01:00I came to a realisation only yesterday that a poem...I came to a realisation only yesterday that a poem should suggest rather than state. This is why I think I have an aversion for long poems, because they explain and I don't need everything explained. What would there be for me to do if you did that?<br /><br />For us to fully appreciate your friend you'd have to write a biography and who has the time to do that when one of our friends moves on? No, the best you can do is suggest what kind of a person he was and allow us to complete the picture. It will inevitably be an inaccurate one. <br /><br />I've just written a review of a collection of short stories and one of the things that jumped out at me was this woman's ability to describe her characters, especially the minor ones, but just mentioning a couple of features and nothing more. And it works just fine.<br /><br />I have also just completed a post very similar to this one where I ask the same question. In it I take a poem I wrote a few days after my father's death and analyse it. There's not much to analyse as it's only two lines long. And then I end the article with a reworking of the piece where I expand on it (actually I incorporate the original in a new piece), say what was only implied in the original and ask which is the better poem? I think you'll appreciate it.Jim Murdochhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12786388638146471193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-85702913167783531172009-07-15T06:41:29.308+01:002009-07-15T06:41:29.308+01:00Hi Dave,
It's my pleasure to meet you, what a...Hi Dave,<br /><br />It's my pleasure to meet you, what a wonderful blog you have here.<br /><br />I'm afraid I can't comment on your poem, i have no qualifications at all in that dept. But I usually think that the first instinctive effort is usually the best. Maybe you could direct the family to this blog post so they could see ALL the lovely words you have written for Dean.<br />take good care,<br /><br />LoriLori annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02860428306713379828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-76498438613306544322009-07-15T01:07:53.481+01:002009-07-15T01:07:53.481+01:00Well, I think the choices you made proved to be go...Well, I think the choices you made proved to be good ones, but there is nothing to stop you from writing another piece based around different choices. I am saying that as one who finds it near impossible to write consciously with words and ideas that I have already used, and this post gives me cause to question that behaviour. Thanks, Dave.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-52548968979286134062009-07-14T22:25:17.496+01:002009-07-14T22:25:17.496+01:00Shadow
Mine isn't always that structured, I a...<b>Shadow </b><br />Mine isn't always that structured, I assure you. Maybe something for me to learn there?<br /><br /><b>Titus </b><br />Thanks for those remarks. Thay all help.<br /><br /><b>Carl </b><br />Your last para' makes a very good point, I think. Many thanks.<br /><br /><b>SugarCain </b><br />Thanks for that. It did prove quite a learning curve for myself as well.<br /><br /><b>John </b><br />The change from "me" to "some" came in under my radar, so to speark. Subliminally almost. The importance of what to leave out in music doesn't seem at all less obvious to me. I think it probably applies across the arts - interpretive as well as creative, if you accept the distinction.<br /><br /><b>Tom </b><br />Many thanks for those thoughts. Very useful, I assure you.<br /><br /><b>The Green Stone Woman </b><br />Thanks. Your remarks pretty much echo what I thought at the time. It was only afterwards the doubt crept in and I wondered if I had let the creative process take over inappropriately. <br /><br /><b>The Watercats </b><br />Very interesting thoughts, there! I must admit I had not considered either process in those terms before, but I see what you are driving at. I must give it more thought. Thanks for the comments.<br /><br /><b>Tommaso </b><br />Yes, that is a fairly close analogy, I think. Thanks for making it.<br /><br /><b>Cloudia </b><br />Here, here to the first two lines. The last does me too much honour, I think, but thanks anyway!<br /><br /><b>Gwei Mui </b><br />And my thanks to you for a generous comment.Dave Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08430484174826768488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-19686983741073993492009-07-14T20:25:29.845+01:002009-07-14T20:25:29.845+01:00Hi Dave,
Another fantastic posting and so generous...Hi Dave,<br />Another fantastic posting and so generous. Writing can be such a closed and insular pursuit. There are many writers who would not be so generous as to share how they work and why. More power to you looking forward to your next posting.<br />GM@ctors Businesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04118148558033452749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-3659798115713686442009-07-14T19:43:29.756+01:002009-07-14T19:43:29.756+01:00Heres to Dean,
To all our Deans
and to you, Poet D...Heres to Dean,<br />To all our Deans<br />and to you, Poet Dave.<br /><br />Aloha-<br /><br /><a href="http://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Comfort Spiral</a>Cloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-21525113140026436152009-07-14T19:38:54.395+01:002009-07-14T19:38:54.395+01:00Dear Dave, now I know much more about your previou...Dear Dave, now I know much more about your previous post, I have felt particularly identified with the fact that his marriage broke up when the news of his illness emerged, on a much lighter level, even if all the same very hard, I have realized how strong the pressure can be when someone is staying near to someone else who is suffering: the tension I have created around me because of the obsessive pain in my foot has been recently tremendous...Tommaso Gervasuttihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17137499390434949734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-33228883521919269142009-07-14T17:33:45.904+01:002009-07-14T17:33:45.904+01:00To me, poetry is a selfish and deeply personal art...To me, poetry is a selfish and deeply personal art. Who know's what was really going on in a poet's head when you read a poem..and I'm not sure that I'd want to know, for I think that the reading of a poem is a deeply selfish and personal art also, it is up to us to feel our way through it and apply a reaction accordingly....Batteson.Indhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846214578565824955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-35732451540955849732009-07-14T16:54:39.642+01:002009-07-14T16:54:39.642+01:00You painted a good enough portrait of him for me w...You painted a good enough portrait of him for me who did not know him and the other bits of information were unnecessary and would have distracted what you put down of the core of him, and that was enough.Irenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05043376053971475659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-84094992919236089292009-07-14T15:21:08.980+01:002009-07-14T15:21:08.980+01:00A very thoughtful bit of writing, laying out in de...A very thoughtful bit of writing, laying out in detail what seems to so many to be a simple outflowing of words and emotion,but which actually, when broken down, is often a complex mix of thought, sound, emotion, technique and more. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.Tom Atkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15068850208360958008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-78691170548376262062009-07-14T13:40:28.500+01:002009-07-14T13:40:28.500+01:00An interesting analysis of your process with this ...An interesting analysis of your process with this poem--which is a darned good sonnet, & a good tribute; the change from "me" to "some" in the conclusion (from your initial thoughts to the poem itself) is very good.<br /><br />What to leave out is so important--in music, too, tho perhaps that seems less obvious.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15687192784861682991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-75748052399083430522009-07-14T13:38:37.267+01:002009-07-14T13:38:37.267+01:00Very interesting for you to map out your approach ...Very interesting for you to map out your approach to this poem.paperbattyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08508747697664669671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2508563923634392703.post-7008507207988178282009-07-14T12:50:24.030+01:002009-07-14T12:50:24.030+01:00The end result was a very personal tribute that I ...The end result was a very personal tribute that I found touching. I think it is good to leave the reader wanting more sometimes.<br /><br />You painted this portrait in words perfectly.<br /><br />I find myself sadder for knowing more from your second post and these are the things that people that knew him would already know and not need.... Like the extra wires in the radio.<br /><br />CarlCarlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09751363280115223716noreply@blogger.com