Oh yeah, I dig this -
that the soul rolls
like a storm cloud through a valley.
And out of the valley, a subtle beat
is taking the heat right out of me...
It's deep, bass, rhythmic; it's regular guys,
but over it, quietly, softly, there flies,
flows, rolls, whispers the soul...
Trip and tremble and gasping, whole - and
mellow as moonlight, laid back as spring
and forging, as spring, a way to begin.
You are a classics-informed-hipster!
ReplyDeleteWarm Aloha, Dave
from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
<(-'.'-)>
> < } } ( ° >
Sounds as if you have been listening to some very good jazz, Dave!
ReplyDeleteI also think of some melody line through your words. Sounds nice!
ReplyDeleteI like the sounds of this ~
ReplyDeleteAnd the way the day to begin, like spring ~
a way to begin...ah...beautiful as always by the one and only .... keep going, keep the flow and the rhythm and enchant us :)
ReplyDeletenice man....smooth rhyme to this one dave...spring is such a time of new beginnings as well....nice one man
ReplyDeleteThere is a nice ring to the flow of words. Nicely done Dave!
ReplyDeleteHank
I never know what to expect from your blog subject wise, but the writing is always top shelf! Another great poem.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Dave!
ReplyDeleteFascinating that you are able to successfully to write in this jazzy voice.
ReplyDeletelove love this poem Dave...fantastic spoken out!! thankyou.
ReplyDeleteSplendid rhythm and intensity. It reminds me of a collection by the great Irish Brendan Kennelly entitled exactly "Begin".
ReplyDeleteHow strongly we do need beginnings!
To me your most poetic poem, I mean, the one which sounds more like a song, for good poetry is both music and painting.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful jazzy rhythmed rhymes to begin & end with.
It's got soul - not just the word - in it.
cloudia
ReplyDeleteWow! I've not heard of one of they before, but thanks Claudia!
Jenny
Not lately, alas, but I sure used to.
haricot
Thank you for this.
Heaven
Much thanks for saying so.
Muhammad
Lovely comment. Thanks.
Brian
Thanks. Good to know you thought so.
Hank
Much appreciated comment. Thank you.
Carl
Thanks. Really good to know you think so.
Mary
Much appreciated.
Tabor
Very much appreciated comment. Thank you so much.
Gerry
And thank you. Comments like this mean a lot.
Tommaso
Good thought. Only faintly familiar with Kennelly. Must look him up. Thanks.
Dulcina
Thank you so much. I do agree with your remarks re poetry, music and painting. Thank you very much for them.