Remember, I also got in first by saying I was not expecting to produce anything other than stuff to work on later.
wind and rain all day two perfect rosebuds
hitting the magnolia one glistening with dew, one
the day it flowered snug in morning frost
the rain that brings to life spooky moon, weak sun
hidden colours in a dry stone snowflakes in a strong north wind -
does nothing for drab clothes nothing moves the rainbow
wise indeed who knows reading replaces sleep
where to scatter the ashes when fireworks or near thunder
in this nor' easter leave the mind in fear
the rhododendron men with blowers
blushed to see its snow veil dancing leaves across the road
tattered by the wind while traffic waited
after the hailstorm the fading bracts
a new moon in the acer waited and waited to greet
and a dying sun the new arrivals
a soft staccato a drift of hail stones
wingbeat of a startled bird - and the back steps glaciated
no greater sound that day in the grip of spring
6 comments:
I think it's a bit of a shame that you presented us with a wall of haiku like this. Because of the nature of the poem I prefer to see them on their own floating in white space like a bird receding.
Of the collection my favourite by quite a large margin was:
a soft staccato
wingbeat of a startled bird
no greater sound that day
but I would also have been pleased to see you try a few that didn't cling to the 5-7-5 format. I only subscribe to one haiku blog. I mentioned it in my blog on micropoetry but there was a lot there and you might have missed it. Have a look at . He rarely uses the standard structure.
Thanks for that, Jim. I did have a quick look at the site from your micropoetry blog and had intended to return. Didn't get around to it then, but I have now. I'll give it a whirl in the second half. What I have found so far, though is that the form tends to perpetuate itself. Put down a couple of 5-7-5s and the next one that pops up tends to be another like unto them. Guess I'm not fexible enough, or something.
I do take your point about the single Haiku floating in white space - or even accompanied by a piece of oriental art.
Thanks again.
lots of nice things here, my favorite is 'the rain that brings to life...'!
Thanks Sorlil, always good to have such feedback.
me, i'm for theglaciated back steps. agree with jim tho about the display, or at leastnormal sized text!
nice
Thanks Swiss,
can't say I was mad keen on the wall, as Jim put it... saves a lot of scrolling though!
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