A visit to The Chocolate Chip Waffle convinced me that I had to try to catch the current Poetry Bus. The prompt, an image (for which, click on link above), was so arresting that I could not resist. Initially, I thought I could not fail, the picture seemed so inspiring. As indeed it was, though no less challenging. If you do not know The Chocolate Chip Waffle, you should put that right as soon as possible. Meanwhile, for what it is worth, here is my effort.
We all are earth
and fire and water.
She is not.
Part fairy and part flower
in her
the magical is everyday.
Calyx of light
too bright to look upon
wings of light,
light veiled in light.
So much beauty is invisible.
More light than her slight
form can hold
she's folded in to it -
and it will out.
On winds self-generated
coronal seeds
stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground...
unbelievable
fecundity -
such force!
such power!
by such
she is transfigured
and by such
we are blinded.
Burnt.
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25 comments:
Marvelous lines.
Best: "stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground..."
Simple, very powerful phrases, Dave, and I haven't seen the image yet! I particularly love from:
"More light than her slight
form can hold" until "unbelievable
fecundity -"
I too don't know the image, but knowing Terresa of Chocolate Chip Waffle, and reading your beautiful words here, Dave, pregnancy comes to mind.
Great poem Dave and fantastic to have you aboard the bus.Welcome!
Loved 'calyx of light' and 'coronal seeds'
Well thought out and complete excellent construction.
Why not stay onboard for next week?
Dave - What a treat to read it and then to see the image. Great fun. I may let the image percolate a little and take a stab at it. But first I am heading to the studio and locking the door to get some painting done.
Cheer,
Carl
Very good! What a powerful opening, & I really like this moment:
On winds self-generated
coronal seeds
stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground...
I must say I find it practically impossible to write for a prompt, which is why I've not joined the Bus. The Bus does generate some interesting poetry, tho, & this is a most worthy entry.
Wonderful interpretation of a really great photo. I took a chance and wrote something too. It's on my Poetry Matters blog.
Hello Dave,
Awesome poetry. Especially the lines "by such she is transfigured
and by such we are blinded."
But in the line " part fairy and part flower" please correct my understanding. In "Part fairy" you are referring her to magic and "part flower", you are referring her to beauty?
And i also welcome you to read my response to the prompt at http://bonjour-a-tous.blogspot.com/
Wow,that's really something, Dave!
Those last lines...really something.
I participate in the Poetry Bus regularly. You might like to read my offering today.
Kat
Great as always Dave. Not familiar with the Poetry Bus, but glad that you caught it.
Captures that image so beautifully and in such an original way. I especially liked the inevitablity of her beauty and light.
"More light than her slight
form can hold
she's folded in to it -
and it will out."
Bravo!
Burnt! Wow, awesome summation, Dave! A pleasure to read.
Welcome aboard! We have such fun on this rollicking ride!
You've joined us with a beauty of a poem, Dave. Many lovely lines here, among which I particularly favor these:
Calyx of light
too bright to look upon
wings of light,
light veiled in light.
and
So much beauty is invisible.
and this:
she's folded in to it -
and it will out.
Wonderful work, Dave.
Dave, you are an incredible poet.
I especially enjoyed these lines,
"More light than her slight
form can hold
she's folded in to it -
and it will out"
and the last single word stanza, "Burnt."
Powerful stuff.
Your entry has me begging to re-read it, reconsidering the picture and moving my thoughts out in places they hadn't been. What a treat. As well as the layers of meaning...exactly what I look forward to in reading poetry.
Hats off to you. Excellent poem.
You captured the mystery of it so well.
David
Thanks a lot for those two comments. Always useful to know.
Derrick
And again, many thanks. Something of a new v enture for me, so the feedback is doubly useful.
EDlisabeth
I see where the pregnancy idea comes from. It is not so far from the mark as the image might make it appear.
Totalfeckineejit
First of all, an apology: I had intended a comment and a link to your bloog, as it was you who put me on to The Poetry Bus at Chocolate Chip Waffle. It was only late yesterday that I realised I had neglected to do so. I shall certainly have a look at this week's bus. Many thanks for your gen erous comments.
Carl
Thanks a lot for the compliment and good luck with the painting. Shall we be seein g it?
John
I can go along with your commen ts about writing to a prompt - which is why I'v e not tried it until now. In the case the image was exceptional and I couldn't resist the challenge.Than ks for yor opening comments.
Helen
Thanks Helen . I shall go hav e a looksee.
Shilpa
Thanks for the compliment - and yes, in part! I also saw her as a magical figure who could be part anything, in this c ase the "an yhthing" was an exploding seed-head. Like a dandelion puff-ball, for example.
Poetikat
Thanks Poetikat, I shall certain ly be ov er to hav e a read.
Madame DeFarge
Thanks. My first encounter with it.
Kass
Thanks. Both generous and useful to know.
Ronda
M mm, I didn't think too much about that. It just came - as they say. It presented itself.
Karen
Thanks muchly, b ut as I said above I am n ot totally convin ced about my abilikty to write to a prompt. I did enjoy doing so on this occasion, though I only saw it late and wrote the poem on Saturday, posted it on Sunday. Not too much thought, then.What I'm saying is if I come alon g I hope I don 't spoil the rollickingness!
Terresa
Such praise. I'm n ot quite sure how to respond, except to say much thanks and very glad you enjoyed it. It does encourage me to try again on the bus.
RinklyRimes
Thanks a lot.
loved the vibe of this poem and the character.. marvellous stuff!
I like the pace and construction of this, and some truly beautiful lines,
On winds self-generated
coronal seeds
stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground...
It made me look as the image closely again. Wonderful stuff!
Lovely lyrical piece, soft and fluid as the subject herself...
Watercats
Hi, welcome and thank you for visiting. Yourr comments are very much appreciated.
Titus
Many thanks for the visit and the kind comments.
Peter
Welcome to my blog. I appreciate the comment - I thought she was, too!
My favourite line is the bit about so much beauty being invisible, a magical journey of a poem.
I like the line more light than her slight form can hold. Lovely
I liked "and it will out." and that killer ending!
Dave, you burn me (begging apologies of Sappho).
I'm late but on the Poetry Bus with something totally different from yours.
Sorry, fairies everywhere
Niamh
Welcome to my blog and thanks for visiting. Your comment is much appreciated.
Emerging Writer
A warm welcome to you. Much thanks for your comment.
Argent
Welcome to the blog and many thanks for stopping by to comment. It is greatly appreciated.
Enchanted Oak
Shall certainly be along to have a read. It was certainly a great prompt.
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