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Friday, 22 June 2012

a tiny kingdom

Written for Victoria C Slotto's challenge on Meeting the bar : Critique and Craft  Where in the world am I? at http://dversepoets.com/

You'll meet with anglers hidden on the shore,
perhaps with tent and portaloo
where tree and shrub reach down the banks
to touch their shoulders, point
to where the water pops and blisters,
speaks the lake's fecundity.

On dull days sky may rupture azure blue
the whole lake length and back again.
You'll sense not see the beauty there
and think he crashed the canopy.
The sudden noise of wing
is like a splintering. The kingfisher

is king. Where lilies in their season lift
their special colours, safe upon their pads,
you'll think small suns afloat on darkling seas
or tissue beauty blown in on the breeze.
There's life, you'll see, will flicker through
above, below, around them as you look.

The sandy path goes not quite round the lake.
At the far end there's marsh. Path peters out
where water tempts you in to wade
the final yards, but better not.
Here species, frog and dragonfly
are noted for their rarity.

Trees like a curtain close it all, but let
peep in, the catacomb-like passages
where trip-wire brambles, broken cello strings 
and dampness reign. Here pungent odours rise
from sun-bright fungi. Scarlets, shocking pinks 
and blues splodge olive greens and sin dark black.



25 comments:

vivinfrance said...

I am there with you by your idyllic lake. You surely brought it to life.

Polly said...

I like your tiny kingdom very much, your words are beautifully evocative.

Grace said...

I like the details of the lake, sounds and colours of life in the tiny kingdom ~ Lovely share Dave ~

Brian Miller said...

nice...vivid in your descriptions dave...made me think of the small kingdoms we built as kids out back in the woods...

kaykuala said...

Sometimes we often wonder. What really prompt anglers for hours without a bite. They persist, happily all by themselves even. They then trudge back home and come again the next day. Now I know why, Dave! There is beauty as you fittingly described in their 'kingdoms'. Great take!

Hank

Daydreamertoo said...

The ending was pretty dark. The wire brambles, broken cellos strings, sin dark black. It speaks of man and his callous ways of throwing things away so carelessly. I could see all of this though, clear as day. It sounds like a beautiful place to be, fishing, or not. :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Wow, David- you put me right there.

Tabor said...

Such a different poem from you this time. Was there something that motivated this direction.

Hannah Stephenson said...

I liked the dark wilderness at the end, too....it makes me want to explore!

hedgewitch said...

I don't know what country this is in, but I want to go there. This is so strongly a reflection of that place, not just physically, but of its essence, that I actually feel I *am* there to a certain extent, though my referencing images are of a trout stream in Montana. The places are sisters of the mind. Enjoyed this very much.

Claudia said...

nice...i love the broken cello strings...reminded me of the kingdoms of my childhood...those tiny kingdoms are so precious...a touching read david

Victoria said...

This is breath-taking, evocative. Your sensory details are so precise you just allow me to sit on the shore and take it all in. A perfect poem for the beginning of summer and the prompt. I love your verb choices and subtle rhyming.

Rachna Chhabria said...

Your poetry never fails to amaze me Dave. You weave the words so beautifully.

aprille said...

layer upon layer of natures goodies in delicious shades. The tripwire brambles are my undoing these days. I do trip at their behest.

Why the white highlights,Dave? Am I missing something here?

Rachel Cotterill said...

Wherever you're describing, I want to visit! :)

Carl said...

Mmm. Shoes off at the waters edge. Happy and peaceful. Thanks for the quick journey.

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

marvellous atmosphere and how I cannot think of " and the kingfisher's wing answered light to light, and the light is still, at the still point of the turning world...."

The Weaver of Grass said...

I love that 'pops and blisters' speaking of the lake's fecundity Dave - very evocative.

Mystic_Mom said...

Dave what a lake you've taken us to! Amazing. Really well done.

Dulce said...

feels like.. sinking there, with the lovely sound and peace

Mary said...

Dave, I can picture this; and it is a LOVELY view!

Dave King said...

vivinfrance
Good to have your company! Thanks for coming.

Polly
Welcome to the blog and thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

Grace
Appeciate this very much.

Brian
Yes, know what you mean - though mine tended to be on bomb sites. Thanks for.

Hank
Know what you mean. Often wondered it myself. Tried it for a while when my son got keen. We both went off it pretty soon.

Daydreamertoo
Dark? Wasn't meant to be dark - except in the sense of the light being occluded. There are areas around the lake where brambles and creepers cover the ground and it is very difficult to walk without being tripped os snagged. They also form barriers like barbed wire - or broken cello strings - in tangled rolls.

Laurie
Thanks Laurie. Realy good to know.

Tabor
Not really. I've had it in mind for some time to write a poem or poems about this spot. It seemed to gel very precisely with the prompt for this week.

Hannah
Yers, it's an intriguing place - as long as you're wearing old clothes that will protect the normally exposed parts! Thanks for your comment.

hedgewitch
It's good ole Blighty Ma'am. Less than 20 minutes drive from where I live. I'm no fisherman, but I'm sure there's no trout there. Just carp and such like. It's stocked by the local Angling Society, so I don't know how much or what is there naturally.

Claudia
You re so right. They are precious, I do know what you mean, but so are the ones we find in later life - which this one is. Partly though, the magic is that it reminds me of similar places I haunted in my youth.

Victoria
Thank you so much for your kind words - and even more so for the delicious prompt. Both very much appreciated.

Rachina
So good to have such feedback. My grateful thanks to you.

aprille
Thanks aprille. Good to have your thoughts, as always. In answer to your question: I do not know. To the best of my knowledge I didn't put in the white highlights - and I have not been able to find a way of removing them. Some Blogger sleight of hand or something! If you're missing something, I'm missing it as well.

Rachel
What a lovely comment. Thank you so much!

Carl
Mmmm, I haven't actually managed to go that far as yet - just thought about it.

Tommaso
Wonderful quote, yes, I applaud. Thanks.

The Weaver of Grass
Very grateful you said this. I wasn't too sure about "pops" and spent a goodly while trying to think of an alternative, so it's good to know you like. Thanks.

Mystic Mom
A warm welcome to you. As you've probably guessed, it's a fav. spot of mine. Good to have your thoughts.

Dulce
Perfect description. Love it!

Mary
The four words that say it all: "I can picture this". Thank you.

Charles Miller said...

This gives me a great sense of this place where nature puts on show her splendor. My favorite lines include the kingfisher, who comes on the scene so brightly, as though captured in the exact moment when it surpirses the mind's eye. That sense of immediacy is quite special, startling and wondrous.

Ygraine said...

I love the way you've engaged all five senses in this amazing piece.
I could honestly see, hear, smell touch and taste all the elements of Nature here.

Evocative and hauntingly beautiful :)

Fred Rutherford said...

Really nicely done Dave. Setting and place clearly set up and illustrated, taking us there. Lots of really nice examples of imagery and neatly phrased lines. Very nice. Thanks