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Thursday, 2 August 2012

Cold Calling


It had the makings
of a nothing day.

Except:
there being just the two of us,
with nothing much to do
but curl up on the sofa
watching Wiggo grab his gong,*
it had the makings of
a day of passing beauty.

Except:
the 'phone would not stop ringing.
Cold callers all
and not one of them a real live person, all
dialling robots, so no point
in yelling
turning the air bright blue
or being rude.

Medical malpractices.
Financial packages mis-sold to us.
Change of gas supplier.
The Government is worried about the likes of me!
(I'm worried about the likes of me -
as anyone like me is bound to be)
Culpable Accidents (sic).
Their records show:
a lorry knocked me off my bike...
True. But that was sixty years ago!

I'd really like to know...
Tell me if you can,
How do you spend
a beautiful day -
just the two of you -
with the likes of them?

*Wiggins win the gold medal in the road cycling time trial.

16 comments:

Mary said...

We have a 'no call list' here in the U.S. It used to work better than it does now. People find their ways....

Around election time the robot calls are rampant; and they block their numbers on the phone so that they cannot be reported!

Mary said...

P.S. How far are you from London?? (Thinking of the Olympics!)

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Hah, this so resonates!

My latest line of attack/?defence is to ask the caller for their name, address and telephone number to enable me to call them at home at some random time.

They don't give of course so I then inform that I resent their intrusion in my life just as much as they would resent my intrusion in theirs and put the phone down.

This conversation lasts a minute at most and I do feel oh so good after (as opposed to anger which I previously felt).

Anna :o]

Tabor said...

What a good laugh! Mine today are from Sears who is determined to sell me a maintenance agreement. They call 3 times a day and have for days! I also get a nice round number of political calls from all the political groups that want my vote. Since I have caller ID, I answer none of these.

Daydreamertoo said...

LOL I so know this. If I see a 1-800 number, I instantly ignore it. If I see anything else long distance that is not known to me, I ignore them too and look up the number in whitepages online. If it's from someplace I know for sure I don't know anyone, it's ignored because I figure, if they do know us, they'll always call back.
Drives you crazy, doesn't it. We get calls starting about now from various charities asking for contributions. Once you give, they seem to pass your number around.
Nice write Dave.
Glad you explained about Wiggo grabbing his gong...lol

Brian Miller said...

take the phone off the hook...or better yet have a little fun with them...so they think twice about calling again...hehe

Claudia said...

smiles...you should just curl up on the sofa and de-plug the phone, light a candle and..whatever you make of it...let the robots call someone else..smiles

manicddaily said...

How to give a cold shoulder to cold calling? Here the robots often hang up because what they really want is to leave a message and I've gotten to the point I never even listen to messages on my machine. I only keep the landline in this case because I've been in NYC in a power outage when an analog phone was the only thing running. Crazy. (Better to have a bunch of batteries I guess!)

Your poem describes both the passing beauty of the day and its infringement so cleverly.

Thanks as always for your kind comments on mine. I changed that poem as I thought it was a bit unclear. Hard to follow my own train of thought some time. Thanks much. k.

Jenny Woolf said...

It's becoming such a problem. These days I'm careful about answering anything which is "out of area" or "international" unless I am expecting an international call. They can always leave a message.

Actually I just don't answer it at all.

And I NEVER give out my mobile number to anyone who might pass it on to a company.

Carl said...

unplug the phone is what I say.

ayala said...

I dislike those calls... always when I'm busy :)

Mama Zen said...

Here, they always call at dinner time!

haricot said...

Without such calls you both would be relaxed and the day must be refreshing...though your words sound like from another planet and make me relaxing enough.

AUGUST 2012 P&P said...

and now Wiggins wants us all to wear helmets, law enforcement as a stick behind the door. I always wear a helmet, but will stop doing so when it becomes compulsory. Perverse, I know, but until they first tackle the cars that floor us, there really is little point.
Yes, another clavicle break from way back here. From another wayward car on a totally empty road.
Cold callers: there used to be a BT list you could subscribe to, stopping your number from being dialled automatically. It no longer works.
I'm worried about the likes of the government :-)
Fun semi-rant that got me going this morning.

Dave King said...

Mary
We have something of the sort. Folk who have tried it tell me that it's at best partially successful.
There has been talk of the government intervening with new regulations, but it seems to be no more than talk so far.

Mary
Hi,
We're just over an hour on the train to central London - then there would be a short journey on the tube to the Olympic Park. Some venues are nearer - Wimbledon for the tennis, for example.

hyperCRYPTICal
Ha! Me like very much. I have been known... but recently they've been robots with recorded voices. Diffcult to discomfort them! I've thought of not putting the receiver back to keep their line open for an hour or so, but I'm not sure that would work.

Tabor
Yes, they encourage the digging -in, almost seige mentality, don't they?

Daydreamertoo
Yes, charities are another frequent source - especially the ones we already support asking us to up our contributions.

Brian
Been there, got the tee shirt. One began his spiel the other day with "Good morning, sir! How are you today. I'm not selling anything." I said "Oh, that is good news!" and put the receiver down. Didn't fully work: he rang back.

Claudia
Excellent advice. Yes, it's what we did - eventually. Alas, though. I didn't think of the candle.

manicddaily
Interesting sidelight you shine on the matter. Thank you as always, for a much-appreciated comment.

jenny
Some good advice here. We wouldn't know if it was out of area until we answered it.

Carl
A man after my own heart!

ayala
Hi and welcome. Yes, how do they manage to time them so well!

Mama Zen
Ah, yes, another fevourite time. Thet ALWAYS begin with "Good morning sir, and how are we today?" To which I often reply "Bloody busy!" and replace the receiver. That question really riles me for some reason.

haricot
The first part of your comment is spot on, the last bit much appreciated.

P&P
Hi, thanks for your chatty comment which is much appreciated. Good to have you visiting. I didn't know that wWiggo wants us al to wear helmets. Bags mine's like his!

Ygraine said...

How I love this - it really made me laugh!
It is so relevant to me, too.
Cold callers are just about driving me to distraction at the moment.
Thank you for helping me to see the funny side:)