The P.C.'s booted up and I am settled back, when: Are you very busy? Wife from the next room. Not terribly, I lie. Look out the window then! I do. My, my! Great Jeosophat! I cry - or something, not a bit like that. Nailed to the front gate post another, thinner, ten feet tall atop of which, a shining board that reads FOR SALE - a bigger lie by far, than any I have told. My wife is on the 'phone, and I am on my way with tools enough to do the job - the crow bar, though has taken off, gone A.W.O.L. on its own. Insert the battered chisel. Prise. Lever. Swear. No go. A few sledge hammer blows should do the job. One. Two... Surprising me, the post and board spin through the air and come to ground just where I stand. Next thing: the postie calls with packages to sign. Did I just see... he asks, your house for sale? You did. It's not! I see... You don't! I've recently debated with him about a football referee: how one might come to "see" a thing that didn't happen. I take him back to our discussion, point out the similarity. The metaphysics slows him down. The round will take an extra hour.
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Saturday, 27 October 2012
A post, the post and what have they to do with metaphysics?
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12 comments:
Also known as the event that never was. But an event nonetheless. Nicely done. Particularly liked the 'freezing action' effect in the poem and the imagined slow down of the postman's thought process. I can just imagine his face as he struggles to take it all in.
I love the way you made this link, Dave.
And how scary to see that your house is for sale when you didn't intend it! (Are you absolutely SURE you've been listening lately when your wife has been telling you her plans?) ;)
I am smiling loudly here. For some reason I am picturing the old style postie - on a push bike. Yes I know it is very unlikely but that is where my mind has taken me. And I loved the case of the disappearing crow bar as well. It is certainly true in this household that tools that we know we have vanish. Until they are no longer needed.
Amazing. The fact of the sign being there when you did not put it there? Did some real estate agent miss the address? Loved the image of the sign flying and glad it did not bonk you on the head.
Hilarious, Dave! I cannot imagine something like that can happen. One's own but some else hijacked it. This can happen in real life too when our assets suddenly become someone else's property! Nicely!
Hank
haha oh my man, that would be a hoot....especially if someone had stopped to inquire and i would love to have heard your metaphysical discussion then as well...smiles...
Yikes, I want to know the story behind the sign!
Hmmm, I am sure your words more a bit more vivid than "My, my! Great Jeosophat!" LOL.
oh my...so good...love how you take us right into the scene...oy..and yeah...would've loved to hear that discussion as well...smiles
Crazy, but so vivid and well told. Agree with Claudia - k.
Awesome, Dave. Thanks for the smiles.
Adura
Hi! Thanks for visiting and a warm welcome to you. Really good to have your comment.
Much appreciated.
Jenny
Thanks, yes, I'm pretty sure - she's the one DOESN'T want to move!
The Elephant's Child
No, you're spot on! He is an old style postie with a bike - though these days with a crash helmet as well. He kept coming back to look at the felled sign board and have another laugh.
Tabor
Yes, indeed. There is another road of the same name in the next town. The Estate agent declares he told him distinctly. He was given post code and he had a sat nav, but still got the wrong town.
Hank
Wow! I think you're just trying to worry me, now!
Brian
It could still happen. The board is still lying in the garden. My next door neighbour - a Bangladeshi - saw it and thought that we were moving. I had a somewhat metaphysical discussion with him, trying to reassure him.
Mary
Yes, well, remembering that the post COULD be read by children... for the full story see my reply to
Tabor, above.
Claudia
Thanks Claudia. Much appreciated.
manicddaily
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.
Linda
And thanks for saying. Good to know.
So, you're not selling you house, right? I think it's time for you to go down to your local estate agent and have a quiet word. Maybe ref to player. :-)
Greetings from London.
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