Three years and one day after he'd retired the coastguard cottages came up for sale. He bought the one they'd lived in, he and Jan, when he had been the guard along that coast. From colleagues they'd received a whirly line, a carriage clock -- and his binoculars. The latter he had used to study the sea birds -- in truth too powerful, but still he'd persevered and made himself a name. Two years in their new home and Jan had died. He'd found no use for glasses after that, and so they'd hung forlornly from their hook to snuggle up for warmth to Jan's old coat. First thing each morning now he'd take the path of stones that Jan had laid to the cliff top and sit and watch the sun come up -- or not. First anniversary of his Jan's death he took his lap top with him on his walk and sat and watched the video they'd made, the two of them together in the bay. The day was windy so he'd left his coat, soaked through the night before, out on the line -- and playfully, had pegged Jan's coat beside it, telling them No hanky panky, not until I'm back! Up on the cliff as he had run the video, he'd heard her voice as background sounds to their amazing -- but quite silent-- shots. Disturbed, he'd made for home. The coats were missing from the line. What's more, the front door stood ajar. Inside... nothing. Not until the bedroom. There they were. Laid side by side, arms around each other. Watching them appeared to spark them into action, for now they rolled around, writhing, opening and closing rhythmically, swallowing each other and contorting into shapes he afterwards could not put into words. Then came the sounds of laughter, kissing, grunts and groans... That was the moment he first saw the wading bird. Pure white, it stood high up on his tall tallboy,two green eyes locked on to him, its long curved beak opening and closing rhythmically like the coats. The sounds must come from it! he thought. Soon the sounds embraced Jan's voice. Its warm distinctive intonation was too much: He left the room, the cottage, Jan; ran down the path to disappear for ever from his friends -- who still get messages from him: texts recounting endlessly the strangest happenings -- of which this tale tells just a few. They come from some black cyber hole.For the image which forms the basis for this prompt I am indebted to Tess Kincaid at The Mag
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Tuesday, 20 November 2012
More things there are than this world dreams of
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26 comments:
seriously fascinating dave...you need to novelize this one...an intriguing tale...i wonder as well at what he saw, was it even real? the bird? or just another step in his descent into madness...or perhaps he is the sane one....
A gripping tale. Drawn through the veil to the other world.
I agree with Brian, very intriguing characters in this. Another mystery from your pen. Good one!
A great poem, very imaginative and perfectly adapted to the image. Greetings.
... I don't even have words to describe my reaction to your Mag! chills for hours???
This is wild!
Oh my I like where you went with this, and one could read so much between each line! Nicely thought out.
A remarkable story; quite moving...
I'm with Helen, speechless. Draws you right in, and grabs you.
Wow. That is one great story!
=)
Dave,
I was truly drawn right into the scene, the setting and the whole scenario....It ended too soon and with some unanswered questions...An amazing and powerful pull, rather like the sea itself:)
It makes me glad and relieved to live well away from a coastal path!!!
Eileen:)
Enjoyed visiting you again Dave...
What everyone else said.
I love tales that get strange like this one. There are so many things out there, so many possibilities! Write on!
This is just grand! I especially love the bird--THANKS!
What an elegant take on a lonely image.
These stuffs, coats, video, bird,
thier room and so on, tell the story well. The situnation is not happy but he had happy time with his wife, and the warmth infuses me through the lines.
Dave, you are a story teller par excellence. This writing really captivated me.
mastery pokes it's nose into a wonderful new field. . . You heard Brian M: "This is something."
So glad I've wised up and now visit daily to see your high-wire cyber performance. We wheel and delight in the digital blue!
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < 3 3 3 ( ' >
><}}(°> ~
Stranger and stranger, but who knew ? , is consciousness what we think ?, the sense of inevitability made my hair stand on end, the clock is ticking Kronos , and thanks for wishing . How sad .
Descent into madness,
or heightened perception?
A disturbing, yet deeply moving tale I cam fully identify with.
Obviously, being biased, I have to answer the latter.
I really, really want his first impressions to be true.
But, then, I AM an incurable romantic!
Brian
I did wonder as I was writing it whether it should have been a short story, so much thanks for your comment. I also like the thought that he might be the sane one.
Tigerbrite
Welcome and my thanks for your comment. It is really good to know what you thought.
Daydreamertoo
Thank you. Very much appreciated.
Leovi
Thank you for saying this. Good to know you thought so.
Helen
Wow! A real boost to hear this. Thanks so much.
Mama Zen
Great response to have! Thanks.
Karen S
Hi! Welcome to my blog. Many thanks for commenting with such kind words.
Berowne
Thank you. That's really good to hear.
Kat
Kind words. Much thanks.
Sue
Lovely to hear. Thank you.
Eileen
Thank you so much for this, a valuable comment. Hope you were not bothered by the unanswered questions.
Jacqui
A warm welcome to you, and many thanks for your visit and your words of encouragement.
Peggy
Really good to have you joining us. Thanks for doind so and for your kind words.
izzy
Hi! A warm welcome to my blog. Much thanks - especially for mentioning the bird. I found that very pleasing.
DCW
Welcome, really good to have your company. Thank you for your comment. It is much appreciated.
haricot
Yes, he certainly had happy times with his wife. Thank you.
Mary
Very good of you to say this. It really does help. Thank you.
Cloudia
Wow! What a comment! I shall prize that one, and no mistake! Thank you.
Ygraine
You set out the options clearly. I shall not comment on them!! Much thanks for your continued and very valued support.
This would make a wonderful short story...I love a good ghost story...well done Dave...
You should publish this Dave. It is such a descriptive piece and the world's baby boomers are just at the right stage of their lives to enjoy it. Thank you for sharing your writing talents here.
This is just strange enough to be wonderful!
What everybody else said from me too Dave.
Anna :o]
Right up my street/path is mini-mysteries! Cleverly written!
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