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Friday, 14 December 2012

Ode to a (Basic) Mobile Phone

Dear fossil from a bygone age,
not bought when you were all the rage,
but recently in the pretense
that we embrace the cutting edge...
Alas, like me, you're not the part,
but have some aspects close at heart.

"Mobile Phone," they christened you...
Misnomer of the century,
since no one phones with such as you
but spans the world in other ways.
Your nearest kin are artists now,
snap-shooters and photographers...

But that's not you, my dated pal,
you are what you were meant to be:
a 'phone and a few angles more.
(The screen is just for user's ease.)
A simple soul, but keen to please.
No Mona Lisas spew from you.

But on the other hand, you stay aloof
from all the intrigues, every spoof
the network yobs can throw at us.
My neighbour's breasts are safe with you:
I cannot sext her with my lot,requesting 
her full frontal, naked body shot!

.................................................
Written for Victoria C Slotto's Meeting the Bar prompt to write a Second Person narrative. You will find it here
.................................................
Sexting: a current craze for sending full frontals or close-ups of genitals to someone of the opposite gender and requesting theirs. (With variations, of course!)

21 comments:

Cressida de Nova said...

Ha...singing the praises of old technology is a favourite tune of mine as well. Sexting your neighbour and photographing her breasts is not really in the Christmas spirit of things Dave ( not that you would of course ...chortles!)

sunny said...

Hi Mr Dave,very lovely post,like it

Brian Miller said...

haha....and just a bit ago it was the new thing, passed over now for the new and shiny with telephono lens built in....snort, the end is a rip....have a great friday man

Grace said...

Ha..ha..that last one really gave me the giggles ~

We still have those old phones, but sadly its gathering dust in some drawer ~

Really enjoyable, Dave ~

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh good grief. If I ever sent anyone any pis of me, they'd send them right back! LOL
Giggling here. Very wiitty.

Kelvin S.M. said...

..ha.. such innovations these poor things had gone through... yeah.. i still have the very first phone my parents gave me as a gift... not touch screen... no androids... no big screens... just exclusive for calls & txts alone... and i, must confess, prefer using the old & simple one than the most innovative and modern units these days... kinda tracing familiarity and sentimental aspects... hihi.. excellent ode Dave... a most entertaining and enjoyable read... smiles...

Kelvin S.M. said...

..ha.. such innovations these poor things had gone through... yeah.. i still have the very first phone my parents gave me as a gift... not touch screen... no androids... no big screens... just exclusive for calls & txts alone... and i, must confess, prefer using the old & simple one than the most innovative and modern units these days... kinda tracing familiarity and sentimental aspects... hihi.. excellent ode Dave... a most entertaining and enjoyable read... smiles...

awakenedwords said...

:) the very reason my son has been denied a 'smart' phone for so long. Wee said.

Kim Nelson said...

LOL! This just cracked me up, all techie and then not. Very entertaining, David.

Dick said...

So refreshing to read a rhyming piece that is skilfully constructed, rhythmically consistent and funny!

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

An ode to to the most unexpected subject with a deep funny mode...we need that... considering how time and energy are constantly engaged by such gears that get old so quickly...
The very opposite of things in the past, a bike I own built in 1962.
Now a three year old phone is already too old!

And by the way.. "Sexting"...I have learnt a new verb.

manicddaily said...

Very charning! Hope your phone appreciated it!

I have to say that you CAN do a lot of drawing on the iphone. But no Manets! (Maybe you better stick to canvas.) Ha. Have a nice weekend! k.

Mary said...

Ha ha, Dave! Fnny how quickly technology becomes dated, isn't it? At one time perhaps this phone was 'all the rage,' and now it is almost an antique. And as for sexting, it has amazed me how many politicians and sports figures here have been brought down by such antics. One would think THEY would know better!

Sabio Lantz said...

Ya had to take it there, didn't ya Dave. It was sort of a cute poem with rhyme but then you tunneled into that dark space. :-)

Cloudia said...

The title and opening lines are immortal, or deserve to be-

RMP said...

that definitely took and interesting twist at the end. Poor basic phone...or maybe not depending on the neighbor, the phone may have lucked out.

Rachna Chhabria said...

Really made me laugh. Love the start " Dear fossil from a bygone age"
very different from your usual poems.

kaykuala said...

Wow! This is really something, Dave! How it becomes a dinosaur that fast no one anticipates. But it does. And it carries new developments (Never seen any sexting coming my way though!)

Hank

Dave King said...

My thanks to all those who have wished me well, health-wise. It is nothing serious, something I have had since I was 5, so an old enemy, and as is often the case with old enemies, we have become old friends in that we know each other so well.
I am feeling much better today, have managed to post and visit all your blogs, but am now signing out.

And thank you all for your comments on the old technologies. They were as varied and as much in agreement as I had expected.

A Cuban In London said...

Listen, mate, your phone is state-of-the-art next to the one I owned for five years. Five years! People thought I was crazy. And the one after that? Five more years. My new one is still a dumbphone (that's what they call it these days, as opposed to a Samsung smartphone) but I'm hapy with it. I can call, text and receive phone calls. And that's all I ever need it for. Thanks for that wonderful poem. :-)

Greetings from London.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Lovely stuff.

I love my dated pal - never text, rarely phone - it is my soft gentle alarm clock that wakes me gracefully and that is all I desire of it.

Anna :o]