They're laying into her without restraint, her injuries are indescribable. She screams for mercy and the busy street absorbs her screams the way it stockpiles traffic fumes, accepts them as concomitants of all known plans for human progress, happiness and wealth. The screams could no more now reverse the flow of wealth and progress for the few (and who, meanwhile, has happiness in tow?) than could the traffic's racket drown the toxins that the street consumes. At no point in the rape from strip to death does any Good Samaritan attempt to intervene.
Serendipity might be held responsible for this poem's birth. Three factors came together. Taking them in reverse chronological order: there was this reference to the dVerse Poets Open Link Night on Brian Miller's blog:- write something and put a bumper sticker on it that reads poem, only the hauty will tell you it's not anyway...and you can ignore them, i do...smiles. Well, not a bumper sticker perhaps. The title of my poem was the heading for a stunning piece of graffiti I saw - briefly - from a train. Lastly, that same day I read a newspaper report of a rape in a High Street during daylight hours. I tried to make my short poem refer equally to the street rape and the rape of Mother Earth. (Hope you picked up the clues. Please tell me if you did not.)
20 comments:
Yes, I did, immediately. Well done.
smiles...glad to be able to inspire you dave...a return of the favor i would call it...smiles....the last two lines rock me...makes me think of the rapes in india where people stood around and did nothing which is heartbreaking to me on the state of our world...
Yes, I did think you were talking about the rape of Mother Earth, and I also thought you were referring to the young woman in India.
Hi Dave-- my proofreader's mind gets distracted - I think you mean "point" in the last line rather than "pint".
I don't think we're quite fair to the Indian bystanders - in that they did nothing once the couple weren't emptied out on the street-- bad enough- horrible, but I think the rape part was in the van and "private." (I am not excusing the bystanders here, as who knows whether they would have stopped that either. And I am reacting to the comments, not your poem still.)
I did get the connection, and I think the comparisons between the toxins and the cries are effective. If you wanted to make the parallels stronger, you might perhaps move outside of the street a little bit - maybe to echoing or pooling in some other place (not urban) . This comes up with strip as I am thinking of strip mine, but I think it could be clearer, since the strip is used in both senses. You might also make the Earth analogy clearer by using a broader term than Good Samaritan - I don't know -- it's very effective as written, but Good Samaritan sounds like someone uninvolved - which would be the case with the person being raped, while we are all caught up on the planet --
I hope you don't mind my thoughts - I think the poem works as written, but since you asked--
K>
k.
Yes I did pick it up Dave - quite clever and true - although surely it has always been thus.
it frightens me how indifferent and cold we are in the face of bad things that happen around us...we always seem to think that someone else will take care of it or help...
This was indeed a heart wrenching incident in my country-India. Head hung in shame. Still mobs blame girl for everything. I hate it.
My link Http://surbhibafna.blogspot.com
This was indeed a heart wrenching incident in my country-India. Head hung in shame. Still mobs blame girl for everything. I hate it.
My link Http://surbhibafna.blogspot.com
This was indeed a heart wrenching incident in my country-India. Head hung in shame. Still mobs blame girl for everything. I hate it.
My link Http://surbhibafna.blogspot.com
It's really serendipity... a very fine poem that honours such a beautiful word
I love this. VERY emotionally powerful Dave.
A terrible crime to commit Dave, it has to stop NOW ~
Love the strong voice ~
Great to see you at D'verse ~
Grace
The clues were crystal clear .. chillingly so!!! Great write, Dave.
I think the dynamic interplay between the title and the poem is fantastic. I also think your poem is true, and it's a very sad truth.
Dave, this is excellent. You tied the two kinds of rape together extremely well. So often people seem to turn a blind eye to both.....not wanting to get involved. A very powerful write. Just long enough!
Kass
HI Kass, good to have your visit. Much thanks for your response.
Brian
Yup, it was a great inspiration. Thanks for - and yes, I guess we both feel pretty much the same way about the state of the world.
Rosemary
Hi, and a very warm welcome to you. Really good to have you visiting. It wasn't actually the young woman in India, the news item that gave me the thoughts predated her ordeal, but ultimately it is any woman who goes through such a trauma.
Manicddaily
I am always grateful for proofreaders, so much thanks for.
It actually hadn't occurred to me that the write would be attributed to any particular case of rape, though of course, with a bit more forethought I should have anticipated the inevitable association with the woman in India.
I take the point about Good Samaritan sounding like an uninvolved person. I hadn't considered that. In fact, the term only got put in as I was typing it into Blogger. It presented itself - as stuff often does - and I went with it. But thanks for the thought.
Yes, I did ask, but would always welcome such observations, whether I've explicitly asked for it or not.
The Weaver of Grass
Thanks for saying so. I've been a bit worried of late that I wasn't always getting my meaning across.
Claudia
I think this is so right. It seems to be part of the culture now that things will be all right on the night . Someone's going to work it out. They will not let it happen.
Surbhi
I understand your distress. There was no intention to finger your country, though. Good to have your visit and your comment. Would be nice to have one on a happier subject some time.
Tommaso
Thank you for this, a really encouraging comment.
Optimistic Existentialist
Very many thanks for these kind words. Much valued.
Heaven
Thanks for the support and encouragement. Really appreciate it.
Mark
Thanks for this Mark, a most thought-provoking comment. really grateful for it.
Mary
Indeed, I feel that too. Very strongly. The non-involvement is difficult to understand.
Hey Dave - thinking about your poem. I honestly felt like the planet part almost strongest, but there is the rape-bystander part - you might find this one interesting - no obligation! About a case here in Ohio where this girl (15 or 16) got very drunk at a party and these boys dragged her around and did various things to her all evening, with a host of bystanders taking pictures and tweeting. A true case, Steubenville, Ohio - It's been an especially big deal as players important to the football team.
http://manicddaily.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/stupor-steubenville/
Very effective and powerful piece, Dave. I particularly like its brevity. There's a temptation with a big issue to go on and on and on and beat our readers over the head with our good intentions and you avoided that. As I'm fond of saying about my own poetry: You said what you had to say and got off the page. Well done.
I picked up the clues straight away. I mean about the street, not about Mother Earth, but that's poetry for you: sometimes you get it, sometimes you only get part of it. :-)
Greetings from London.
Yes, I totally got the rape of Mother Earth. Ouch.
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