There is a shadow strolls through yonder glade
but is no threat, and has no axe to grind.
If it stood still, you'd think it one more tree...
except, part artifact, with windows made
to scan the woodlands, it essays to find
in all life forms, their commonality.
Disturbing hints are wrapped in light and shade,
of human thought by sylvan thought refined,
as though we were their old-time prodigy.
The shadow pauses where old wood's decayed
and fungus is a spongiform of mind.
Glory in life: in death, machinery!
Decay is their slow fuse to energy.
The woods restore themselves from memory.
I found working with yesterday's trireme sonnet particularly conducive, so have tried it again. The image is one of my Digital Doodles - again, I fear, not new to you.
16 comments:
Lovely Dave, lovely.
Anna :o]
"Disturbing hints are wrapped in light and shade." I may have to start my next short story with that one.
very cool dave...the woods restoring themselves from memory...the fungus a spongiform of mind..an ever lasting circle of decay and new life...fascinating
" Glory in life: in death, machinery!" -- My favorite line! You really aced the concept of the trireme sonnet! Another good one.
A spooky photo-poem resulting from the feasting prion in your mind?
smiles....very cool...and intriguing as well...as much as nature may be damaged by us i wonder if it wont outlive us as it is more attuned....
This could have been written a hundred years ago I feel Dave.
A repeat of the form tells a lot. It reflects the passion still hot within. A great offering Dave!
Hank
A really surreal and wonderful image, and the poem that you produced weaves it in well--I would quote the lines that impressed me, but then my whole comment would be quotes--you have a deft touch with this form, David, and it shows, particularly in the second and fourth tercet, and the ending couplet with its absolutely perfect final line.
Hi Dave - you are wonderful with this form--I found this one to be very lyrical but also to have a kind of sense of humor - I love the line about no axe to grind! And even the yonder has a bit of tongue in cheek to it, even though the poem itself is quite serious - the spongiform fungus mind so clever, and love the idea of the wood restoring itself from decay as a kind of memory.
I think here even without the image of old machinery left in the wood and slowly adding its bit into the biochemical scene.
I have not seen the digital doodles, but assume they are images you do with something like iPad/computer - collages. A lot of fun. k.
Well, am I glad I re-visited your site today, to find another trireme sonnet! So many gems in this new offering, with the shadow transformed into something mythological - and that final couplet could stand on its own, it is so perfectly crafted (especially the last line - I wish I'd written that).
The trireme sonnet is a wonderful form, isn't it? I love the subtlety of the rhyme scheme, that creeps up on both the reader and the writer with nary a whisper, until the one-two punch of the rhymed couplet.
I am looking forward to seeing more of these!
This was very spooky and eerie...you should do a re-post of this at Halloween!!
I love your image and, as always, your precisely chosen words. 'Disturbing hints are wrapped in light and shade' It was ever so, with more shade than light. Just enough light to show the darkness.
Wonderful images in your poem and I find your 'doodles' totally captivating. Please share more of them. they are quite original.
...outstanding couplet sir...perfectly for such an excellent, surealistic trireme sonnet... you were able to find your niche with this form & it is genuinely visible in your well thought tercets & couplet... no further words to say...just excellent... smiles...
hyperCRYPTICal
Thanks for the kind response.
David
With my blessing!
Claudia
Thank you so much for these thoughts.
Mary
Thanks Mary, but I have a feeling that the compliments belong to the form.
Sabio
Seem likely... Okay, yes!
Brian
I consider that's almost a certainty and fast removing any lingering doubt. As my dear old Gran would have said (as of any significant purchase) "It'll see us out!"
The Weaver of Grass
Perhaps it was - in one of my former lives!
Hank
Yes, I think it does at that! Thanks for the insight.
Hedgewitch
Thank you so much for these kind words. They will be a great help to me in the future, I am sure. It's really good to have feedback like this.
manicddaily
Sincere thanks for this wonderful response. Such thoughts are so valuable, whether they confim something that has been niggling me or send me off on a new line of thought. I am very grateful for the trouble you take to respond. (I did have some reservations about yonder!)
Semaphore
I, too, am glad you revisited. I did not know of the form until you posted your prompt, but felt immediately at home with it. Already your comments are sparking new thoughts, so much thanks.
Optimistic Existentialist
Now there's an idea! Thanks.
The Elephant's Child
Yes, indeed, I go along with that. Thanks for this.
Carl
Thanks Carl. Will try to oblige.
Kelvin
Many thanks for these thoughts. Really good to have them
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