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Sunday, 5 May 2013

How Myths May Discompose


Imagine: Kenny. Rising eight,
child with special needs,
highly animated as I tell
Creation's story -- scientific version.
But no Big Bang for us! Continuous Creation. --
That's it. Official version of the day.
Almost, his fever of excitement is too much,
but is cut short. The bell. We file into the hall.

The head's assembly. Today: Creation.
The Book of Genesis. Kenny is confused.
Distressed. He is in agony.
Later, he asks if he may paint.
He takes two sheets of kitchen paper,
tapes the two together and launches into
yet another landscape: mountains, valleys,
trees and flowers, birds and animals,
a river, sun, moon and stars... But then:
two moons and two men in the valley.

One figure is diminutive, he's pointing up
towards the second moon. The other
man towers over him -- and wears a halo round
his head. I ask would Kenny like to talk about...
(Don't ever ask What is it? or far,
far worse What's it supposed to be? )... He nods.
The second moon is not a moon but Sputnik 1
(The Russians launched it recently.)
The little man is Adam and the big man God.
Adam points towards the Sputnik, says:
See God, it's me put that one up!

And God says: what? I ask.
He's got a wee, wee spider in his hand and
he's showing Adam and he says to him
"Well, I jist made this one. Beat that!"


Hoping to ease myself back into writing mode, I have rewritten an old version for submission to Hobgoblin2011's prompt at Poetics: The Creatures Of Mythology, Folklore and Fairy Tales

15 comments:

Mary said...

Enjoyed your version, Dave; and the ending made me smile!

Kelvin S.M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelvin S.M. said...

...this is really entertaining to read sir... especially the latter part when the scene could actually look like: 'are ye smarter than a fifth grader' being man the fifth grader & God, the challenger in this generation of impossibles... i just couldn't imagine how man can be daring enough to create a God in him... and be ever proud of what he has achieved thru generations to generations... we all have our own tales of creation and Kenny has right to put this up the way he sees it, hears it, understands it.... and that's quite adorable to note he is not lost in his generation... but, ask one from year 2113 about the story of creation he'll def give a new version... possibly in that year God will no longer be part of the story yet the story still may qualify to be (only) in their bionic age... harsh truth how real may become unreal as we pass this life to another era... ok, i'm saying too much... & it may not be likable already... aww,... really enjoyed this sir... smiles...

Kelvin S.M. said...

**still may qualify to be true & acceptable..

Claudia said...

ah this is lovely...great story telling and i really like how you paint the characters...very cool dave...

...and something technical...i often almost miss your link because it's marked as read already as you link to your blog and not to the specific poem...just a thought..

Brian Miller said...

haha...beat that...smiles....an man challenges god to take his place...a competition...and it plays well on how all little boys challenge their dad a bit...it plays out in our lives...very nice dave

Grace said...

Nobody can beat the Ultimate Creator, from small things like spider, to a marvelous landscape as the universe ~ Enjoyed this one Dave ~

Ygraine said...

Mmm, food for thought here!
There are and have been some really clever people in the World who have created some amazing things...
But only the Creator can create life.

And it takes people like little Kenny to open our eyes to such miracles...I truly believe that those who have 'special needs' are exceptionally gifted people who see and feel much more deeply than we 'ordinary' folk!

A brilliant write...and I love the thread of humour that runs through it. Very well done!:)

Björn said...

Very enjoyable... and sure there will always be many versions on the creation... and children have such an open mind.

Cloudia said...

A gem of humane wisdom in your "would you like to tell"

Keenly observed and worthy to read.

Thank you, friend

Aloha

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

Poetry heightened by the great conversational level, a joy to read.

Fred Rutherford said...

nicely done Dave. Really like the storytelling and the natural build up. Creatively mixing in a nice tone and a lot of fun. thanks

manicddaily said...

Ha! Very clever. I remember the early Sputnick -I had a little telescope that I set up on our sidewalk. It seemed red to me. A spider would in fact have been more interesting (though I'd never have admitted it!) Thanks, Dave. k .

Dave King said...

Mary
I could wish for no more. Thanks.

Kelvin
Thanks for your very comprehansive and absorbing comment. It leaves me wondering if we ever can know exactly what we - and others - take from the ancient myths.

Claudia
Thanks Claudia for both comments. Obvious now you say, yet I hadn't given it a thought!

Brian
Yes, some staff at the school thought the construction of image and language could not have been his. It was too advanced, was something he'd heard. My thought was - and is - that if so, it didn't matter, for he had heard it, taken it in and made it his own.

Grace
I think we'd all go along with your first assertion. Thanks for the kind comment.

Ygraine
Many thanks forsuch a stimulating and encouraging response. I do agree with your thoughts... except ye become as a little child... and all that!

Björn
Exactly so, it's the openness that is important. There are no right answers.

Cloudia
And thank you - so much!

Tommaso
Thanks for saying so. Very lifting.

Fred
Thanks Fred, such a rich and fertile space for thought.

manicddaily
Agreed! And yet at the time we were all so obsessed with its inane signals!


aprille said...

Priceless.
When I hear myth or fairtytale, my mind sighs.
This one I want to read again and so hope you will write more like it. Short stories. Illustrated by youngsters. I was so impressed with the lad automatically taping two sheets together upon starting. Almost like an artist priming a canvas.
I hope he is real.
[and that you are on the mend].