blackbird and robin
feeding beneath the rose bush -
tit-bits on the path
small birds above them
chomping among dead petals
for hidden insects
rose petals falling
confetti on the bride and groom
as they fly away
Like choir boys of old
scratching their names on the pew,
donors to the roof
can see their particulars
as part of the church fabric
8 comments:
Hi Dave.. wonderful poem. "rose petals falling
confetti on the bride and groom
as they fly away"
Love that line.
Hope you won't mind if I read it to my students during poetry session.
Overachiever! Seriously, this is beautiful. I love the images you've created as you move higher and higher. Lovely.
Beautiful triple haiku and excellent tanka!
Agree....both brilliant..as I have learned to expect!!!! You don't disappoint.
Fantastic triple Haiku i especially like the first one very vivid imagery :-).
Brilliant visual imagery!
Rachna
Hi and a warm welcome to you. Many thanks for the kind comments. As to reading it to your students, I take it as a great compliment. An extra thank you!
Lolamouse
No one has ever called me that before. Thank you for such a generous response.
Rose
Thank you. Much appreciated.
120 Socks
That's really good of you. Glad you liked it.
Windsmoke
Thanks once more: a really useful comment.
SG
Hi Thanks for visiting and for the comment. Good to know whose been and what they thought.
I like both the triple haiku and the tanka. I particularly like
'small birds above them
chomping among dead petals' - 'chomping' gave it depth and realism though it's not a word I would generally associate with birds.
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