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Thursday, 8 March 2012

100-Word Play

The Royal Court Theatre is inviting ALL members of the public to submit 100-word plays for its Young Writers' Festival. The plays will not be staged, but displayed around the theatre. They are speaking of the concept of plays oozing out of the walls. It is not competitive, the aim will be to show all the plays.

Not for submission, but I thought I'd try my hand.

- Excuse me.

-Yes Sir.

-I've just taken this off your shelf.

-Yes sir.

-It says there's a special offer on it.

-Yes sir.

-With this model, the attachment comes free.

-Yes sir.

- I cannot find the attachment.

-No sir, we don't stock them.

-But you can't do that!

-No sir, we don't.

-It must be against some act or other.

-Some of our stores stock them.

-But not you.

-No sir.

-Why not?

-No call for them.

-I'm calling for it.

-Yes sir.

-Can I take the cheaper attachment instead?

-No sir.

-Why not?

-Not part of the offer, sir.

...............................................................................................................


19 comments:

Mary said...

Hilarious, Dave! I can definitely SEE this being performed. You did well with a hundred words.

Tabor said...

What a great challenge. I think conversation is the hardest to write...being a bit slow I always get caught on the punctuation, but this would be a fair format.

The Elephant's Child said...

I loved it, and have indeed seen it performed many, many times. Thanks.

The Weaver of Grass said...

This rings so many bells Dave - very well done indeed. Do submit it.

Christine said...

But what is the definition of young? A brilliant piece of writing. I have heard many conversations like it.

David Cranmer said...

"Not part of the offer, sir.":)

Carl said...

Perfectly captured exchange. I have the feeling you over heard a recent trip I made to Best Buy. Nicely done.

haricot said...

Interesting try. Play of the words and it makes sense wonderfully.

Jackie Jordan said...

Ha Ha! Great post, Dave! I love it and can/have seen this happen firsthand. A similar thing happened at Sears in 1984, and I haven't done business there since ...

Brian Miller said...

ha, you know i can def see this playing out in real life...and as comical as it is reading...how frustrating...

ds said...

Ha ha! Happens too often, alas. Well done, sir!

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

The echoes from Waiting for Godot are very strong to my ears, a chance or were they actually also crossing yours?

Anyway I have really enjoyed the conversation.

Windsmoke. said...

I could just imagine the Two Ronnies performing this play :-).

Kat Mortensen said...

I can see The Two Ronnies (ha! I just saw the above comment; great minds,eh?)

Also a Cleese and Palin moment comes to mind.

Mama Zen said...

A sadly realistic play, I see! This is hilarious, Dave.

Jim Murdoch said...

And why exactly are you not submitting this?

vivinfrance said...

Submit. Well worth the effort.

Dave King said...

Mary
Thanks for saying so. I'd thought it a bit mundane.

Tabor
Oh, don't worry about punctuation. Leave that to the actors!

The Elephant's Child
Thank YOU. An encouraging response.

The Weaver of Grass
Well, thanks for that. I must say, I'm in two minds now.

Christine
Not sure what the cut-off is for the festival, but there's none for the submissions. Anyone can send in.

David
Good to have your response. Thanks.

Carl
It does seem to have got around a lot already, this conversation! Thanks.

haricot
Thank you for this.

Jackie
Good to have your thoughts again. I'm beginning to think I might have subconsciously plagiarised it!

Brian
Well, I thought I'd go for reality, but..

ds
This is building up into quite an indictment of someone/ something.

Tommaso
Ah, well, one of the examples given, I thought was very Godot-like, so I thought I would stay away from that. Seems like I didn't manage it. Interesting comment. Thanks.

Windsmoke
Ah, now you're talking! Thanks.

Kat
Yes, quite something that would be!

Mama Zen
Thanks. Good to have.

Jim
Well, put like that... I'll have another think. I had thought it a bit bland, but thanks.

vivinfrance
Thanks for saying so.

Ygraine said...

You really MUST submit this!
It is BRILLIANT!!