I see the ghosts of parts I played before I played the larger stage. This was my house -- stage left, the door through which my father went to war. All that you see, my Granddad built, wherein are ghosts of parts I played. A cast of five, we trod these boards before I knew the truth of guilt. My baby brother enters (right) as I exeunt (stage left) to school, I see the ghosts of parts I played once this split stage became the rule. And was my role of Joker flawed, the arty fool upon whose acts the love of all the rest was poured? (I hear you, ghosts of parts I played.)
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The quatern was given as a prompt by Gay Reiser Cannon for dVerse Poets' Form for All
22 comments:
Lovely use of the form as well as a great play on the bard. Completely engaging.
nice....i like your refrain, but also how you introduce some other elements ...your brother...and you being the joker...and allow us to fit them together ourselves...
so good! I must read this again. ...and moving... apart from the great quartern rhythm!
A thoughtful and thought-provoking idea for a poem..... as always, thank you.
It is a difficult chore to fit the words into such a structure but you seem to like doing the math and have the ability to sum it up correctly.
whoa, this moved me deeply.
so much emotion in there, such great imagery.
"My baby brother enters (right)
as I exeunt (stage left) to school"
love the elements you worked with.
a truly excellent write, Dave...
now i have to read it again.
p.s.: had to return for another round... Dave, i LOVE it!
I love your refrain, Dave... excellent poem.
Yes, a wonderful poem, Dave. You describe a scene that is familiar in the truest sense of the word - I thought the first stanza especially strong, with the rhymes of the door and war and the archetypical sense of the home theater. k.
Enjoyed this, Dave. Indeed made me realize how much we are all the main character in our own production plus co-star characters in a few others, minor characters in some, and 'walk in's' (the word escapes me) in a great many more!
Really powerful Dave. Hauntingly beautiful with strong overtones of reminiscence.
Very creatively done on the form Dave ~ I like the stage setting and role playing of your family ~
These rhythms you creat make me be in a special world between real and unreal. I wish only I could read them more properly.
A very fine poem Dave. I always enjoy your creative approach to every poem. I love this stage crafting working the "play" that always goes on in one's head, a nod to Shakespeare, and yet so original. The genius here, of course, was in choosing your refrain line. As always your work is excellent. Thank you so much!
A nice read, Dave :)
love how you somehow seem to step out of yourself and watch you like in a film, going back in time and putting pieces of life together like a puzzle..nice..
Delightful. Surprising in its rhyme scheme.
unique 'take' on the memories we all re=stage in age. . . .
Aloha to YOU from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
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...excellent... like others i fell in love with your refrain..so perfectly incorporated to make your whole Quatern shine and stand out... wish i could have tried a deeper element in my quatern but too busy and tired of work so instead i crafted a light, childish mood poem... anyway, no regrets coz i totally enjoyed working with this form... smiles...
Clever, Dave, I like this very much.
becky
Hi, a warm welcome to you. Thank you so much for your kind words.
Brian
Thanks Brian. Means a lot.
Gerry
Thank you so much. It's good to get the feedback.
Cait
Much appreciate and value your words. Thank you.
Tabor
Thanks. Yes, you are quite right, I do find it difficult initially. It will seem beyond me. I think I most like doing the math after it's done!
another wandering soul
Thank you for saying this. It is a great help to have such comments.
Laurie
Thank you. Good to have your comment.
manicddaily
Interesting observations. The first stanza was the first one written. Increasingly now I look back and see it as part of that great world-wide stage of which the bard spoke.
Mary
Yes, very much so - or so I have come to think.Tthanks for saying.
accidental writer
A warm welcome to the blog.Thank you for commenting. All thoughts are useful to know.
Heaven
Thank you so much. good of you to say so.
haricot
Thank you. You seem to be able to get the gist of things. Always good to have your thoughts.
Beachanny
Thank you so much for such a generous comment. It is deeply appreciated - as was the prompt.
Rachna
Much thanks . Good to know.
Claudia
Yes, it is like that sometimes. I guess I'm not always aware of it - until someone points it out. A most useful comment. Thank you.
Tommaso
Thanks for this. Much appreciated.
Cloudia
kind words. Thank you.
Kelvin
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your comments and the trouble you took to leave them. Do not down grade your poem, though. I found it quite delightful. Even light works can have depth. Keep them coming - that's the main thing. Lots of good things there to enjoy.
Polly
Thanks and welcome. It's good to have you aboard. Your comments are much valued.
I got the various folks in the house. And I liked the philosophical thought of the many roles we play.
But I did not get the connection. Damn! And I read it thrice.
I did enjoy it, but much went right by me.
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