The Swans of Abbotsbury
Even clumping together
cloud-forming, there's grace
in their movement -
its movement - no sound
except one
flapping sheets on a line
as, startled, they take to the skies.
Dull ponderous sound
for something so thrilling,
and seeming much lighter
than air.
The grace of their movement -
its movement - is fractal.
A beauty of one.
It divides, subdivides
splits away once again
balletic and perfect
the music sustained.
Infinity must
live somewhere close by -
maybe in the lagoon
or mansion or house on the moon.
Best title ever?
"Decreasing Infinity" -
Balbir Singh's new ballet
NewVenture
A new venture for me, that is. I have had a story accepted for publication in the on-line magazine Beat to a Pulp. This is entirely thanks to David Cranmer who invited me to contribute and to whom I am massively grateful. The story is called Collision, is in verse form and is - I hope you will agree - Sci-Fi. The link to
Collision is here.
24 comments:
"House on the moon"
Cool!
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
"flapping sheets on the line"
Love that.
Congrats on the acceptance! I like your Haikus.
Hi Dave congrats on the short story will be heading on over shortly.
Your opening lines really did it for me.
" Even clumplin together
cloud forming, there's grace
in their movement -"
The idea, well for me, that clumsiness has it's own beauty and grace I really took to that.
There is something rather Zen and Daoist about this poem. I feel it is meant to be read and re-read in personal contemplation.
Cloudia
Des res some would say.
Pamela Terry and Edward
Thanks for that.
Bossy Betty
Thanks Betty. Much appreciated.
Gwei
I've always been fascinated by Zen and Daoist influences. Well, ever sin ce reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" way, way back.
As many words have been written about swans I must congratulate you on this one. It is beautiful as well as interesting and most original!
"flapping sheets..." I love your memories and congrats on being published in Beat to a Pulp.
Jim
brilliant dave - steven
Congrats! I can't wait to read it.
Tabor
Thanks Tabor. Yes, so many, but nearly all about individual swans, but when I was at Abbotsbury, it was the groupings and formations they formed which interested me.
The Turning Point
Thanks for the comment and the congrats.
Steven
Many thanks.
Carl
A word of warning - it's a long read!
Congrats on your success! What a fab ode to the clouds! It must surely give a heck of a different meaning to the phrase: 'To have one's head in the clouds' :-)
Greetings from London.
Dave - I'll properly prepare and not look at it until afterwork and home for the day so I can settle in for a good read.
Hi Dave,
Lovely swan poem and good haiku. Congrats on your story. I popped over but will read it properly later.
I didn't know I needed to read these lines until I had:
Infinity must
live somewhere close by -
maybe in the lagoon
or mansion or house on the moon.
Thank you. Sx
Cuban in London
Thanks for the congrats. Yes, my head is even further in the clouds than usual!
Carl
Good thinking!
Derrick
Thanks Derrick
Purest Green
And thanks for your feedback. Very welcome.
Congratulations on Collision, as a bit of a sci-fi freak I shall get myself over there.
Great take on swans, I like the close observation and unusual analogies - and those jumping off final lines,
"Infinity must
live somewhere close by -
maybe in the lagoon
or mansion or house on the moon."
Thanks Titus. I shall be very interested to hear what you have to say. I think I'm desperately in need of feedback on this one. The comments on the poem are much appreciated.
Really good poem! The Poetry Bus excursions seem to agree with you. As others have mentioned, the "flapping sheets" image is beautiful; in fact, the whole first stanza is really quite remarkable, as are the last four lines.
Congrats on your publication! This is great news.
I adore The Swans of Abbotsbury. I have read it two times and I'm still not done.
"Dull ponderous sound for something so thrilling" That is my favorite part.
I loved The Swans of Abbotsbury, reminding me of our beautiful swans in the centre of Lincoln, descriptions mighty perfect. You so deserve to have a story accepted for publication and I know just what a thrill this is. Well done David congratulations from me.
I so enjoyed The Swans of Abbotsbury reminding me of the wonderful swans in Lincoln town centre, your descriptions were mighty. Many congratulations on having a story accepted for publication you so deserve this and I know just what a thrill this can be.All very best wishes Dave.
John
Many thanks for those comments, and, yes, the excursions have felt quite beneficial to me so far - although I struggled a bit with last week's. It is something new for me, though: I have not tried picking up on prompts before.
Alexis
Hi and welcome. Many thanks for taking time to comment. Greatly value your thoughts.
Susie
Thanks for your kind words and wishes. All such feedback is most useful.
Seems my comment came through twice after my email showed it had failed in transmitting - I did have such difficulty getting anything to your site last evening I wonder why? but as long as you eventually received them thats all that matters.
Susie
Sorry to hear that. Strangely, I have been having difficulties, bot with commenting and with posting. Thanks for persevering. Don't worry about the twice!
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