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Tuesday, 11 January 2011

The Road

The Journey and Road Ahead was this week's prompt at Jingle Poetry's Pot Luck Monday

We knew the road,
did not expect
it suddenly to end
in that dark wood
with not a sign
that we could comprehend.
Not man nor beast
nor living thing
nor artefact was there.
No movements that
might raise our hopes -
just shuffling trees
that gathered round
to block the way ahead.

They closed their ranks
on all four sides,
not rays of light
could slip between
those silent sentinels
that made a night of day.

Before the first
foot ever fell
on stones our fathers laid,
that ancient way
ran through that wood,
across those hills
and by a brook
to where the sun shone true.
And all the roads
we've laid since then
run back from there to here
or skirt the land
of Wood-Bee-There
to bring us back again.

And all the hills
that block the view
and rivers that run dry
are only there
to spur us on
to woods where we must die -
for all the folk
who don't return
are saplings in that wood,
mere shadows of
a past we knew
but didn't follow through.

And in the wood
dishonour stands
implacable
as countless folk
who never saw
the fading light
or thought the light could fade.

21 comments:

Kass said...

"...a past we knew but didn't follow through...
...the fading light where dishonor stands.

A lovely lilting, yet strong poem.

120 Socks said...

Another great poem. I do so admire your energy! Puts 120socks to shame!

Tabor said...

Nicely done and so universal in interpretations. All of us can see something in this.

Jingle said...

I agree with your sentiments.

unexpected twists or turns certainly ahead of us all ....

your words paint vivid images here.
brilliant expression,
marvelous entry.

A++

Do link to potluck and allow possible readers to read you.
your poetry rocks,
your kindness is precious.

The Weaver of Grass said...

You get better and better Dave

Derrick said...

'And all the roads
we've laid since then
run back from there to here'
I love that line and the last two stanzas very much.
Thanks for your kind words, Dave, which I'm not publishing but appreciate very much.

Dianne said...

This is so poignant, I cry while reading it.
You have touched me on the road I travel, especially the past 4 weeks.
Poetry looks at life and lets us see ourselves.
Thank you, poet,
Dianne

Jingle Poetry said...

Thanks for the lovely participation, Happy Tuesday!

Potluck Week 17 Treat/Awards 4 You, Enjoy!

Cait O'Connor said...

Yes great and I especially loved the rhythm of this poem.

Ted said...

Dave,

I dig this stansa. Most of the roads we travel today were once old paths through the woods. What an amazing assimilation of history and geography you have made in verse.

When Maria and I go antiqueing, I head to the old maps. You can learn so much about people and culture by understanding how certain areas became more or less accessible.

Before the first
foot ever fell
on stones our fathers laid,
that ancient way
ran through that wood,
across those hills
and by a brook
to where the sun shone true.
And all the roads
we've laid since then
run back from there to here
or skirt the land
of Wood-Bee-There
to bring us back again.

Dick said...

This has both the chanting rhythm and the sustained menace of an ancient folk ballad. Or maybe a verse version of something by H.P. Lovecraft. Wonderfully atmospheric.

Karen said...

I love the structure of this - coming back to that wood no matter where one goes - and the ending there. You do get better and better, Dave.

lynnaima said...

hmmm interesting, side, the story pulled me in...nice.
Happy potluck!
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/vanished-antidote/

Cloudia said...

Longform!



Sustained like a note



Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

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fiveloaf said...

love it david! here’s mine for this potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/life/

Raj said...

simple. elite. meaningful. deep. :)

Jingle Poetry said...

your entry is in the collection now, this week, after linking, it takes a few seconds to have the name show up...

Thanks for the patience.

amazing entry.

Dave King said...

Kass
Many thanks for that response. The feedback is very useful.

120 Socks
It's a very recent phenomenon! I have the sites providing prompts entirely to thank.

Tabor
An interesting observation. Thanks.

Jingle
Grateful for your comments and all the help received recently. I did finally manage to get there.

The Weaver of Grass
That must be why my earlier poems embarrass me so much! The comments help greatly. Thanks.

Derrick
Another useful comment, for which much thanks.
My remarks were sincerely meant.

Dianne
It does indeed. For me it is the deepest form of both communication and reflection. Thank you for your kind remarks.

Jingle Poetry
Thank you!

Cait
Agan, a very useful comment. Thank you so much. Good to have you visiting.

Ted
A warm welcome to you and a warm thank you for an interesting - and generous - comment.

Dick
I think I may be edging towards the ballad, not deliberately. I think the tide's carrying me that way! Your comment was much appreciated.

Karen
That comment means a lot to me. Thanks for it.

lynnaima
A very warm welcome to you and many thanks for visiting and commenting. I shall be over ASAP.

Cloudia
Interesting. Thanks.

fiveloaf
Much thanks - and will be there anon!

Raj
Kind and generous. Thanks.

Jingle Poetry
Thanks for everything
I think it's you had the patience!

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

Dear Dave, this is one of your most powerful poem especially with

"rivers that run dry
are only there
to spur us on"

Poewerful.

Dave King said...

Tommaso
Interesting... I had not expected those lines to get special notice, but you having drawn attention to them has set my mind off on a certain tack. It may all end in a dry river bed or a raging sea, who knows? Either way, my thanks to you.

Jinksy said...

And all the hills
that block the view
and rivers that run dry
are only there
to spur us on
to woods where we must die -


Beautiful rhythm to these lines...