driven this week by TFE.
Unusually I will not try to repeat the prompt, for two reasons: I could not do it justice; and it might give the game away. But do go and have a read - preferably after you've read the poem!
"We'll make a new man..."
Fool of a man
with stethoscope
blocking his ears!
Then comes the dream:
turning the tables
to make a new quack
of the joker out
of the medical pack.
None too pretty
quite nasty and gory -
but that as they say
is a whole different story
leading to me
waking in bed
decomposing composing,
strange in the head.
Light through the curtains
paints on my body
patches of gold
swellings and juttings -
anatomical, bold,
unknowable things.
From the site of his jabbings
antennae and gills.
Rubbing my eyes
the wall opens up
I see through the bricks
to the bedroom beyond
like a blueprint... an x-ray
a scene out of hell.
Closing my eyes
the scene has moved on,
I see in the street
(all the streets in the town)
silhouettes move around -
the traffic the people.
It's echo location -
it comes from my ears.
I hadn't caught on:
the street lamp is out
the light comes from me -
all those patches and things
luminescence I focus
breathing out, breathing in.
I'm the light of my room
the light of my world -
the world wakes to me!
Out there in the street...
that's me going out!
Getting into the car...
driving off in a huff...
now waving goodbye
from the front garden gate -
it's multi-location
I'm me everywhere...
I inhabit the world,
every bit, every jot
omnipresent omniscient -
omni-the-lot!
The seas and the land
there's no one to stop
the march or the flight,
the swim or the light
of what I've become.
I'm a dolphin on land,
an Einstein at sea -
in the air I'll be perfect,
these wings are for me.
I'm supreme on the earth:
all-knowing, all-seeing...
Unstoppable, see?
There'll be peace and accord -
or I'll hammer the lot.
15 comments:
I have read the poem twice...like it...then went to the link, not sure if I missed something?
Tabor
No, I don't think you did. I'm not sure what's going on there!
Superman Me! Everyman Me! This is an intense look inside .. so full of energy, possibility!!!
Superb, Dave.
Epic! The stuff of boy hood dreams. I loved the Everyman' feel to it. The dream of being all things, to all, yet in reality confined to just one body 'decomposing'.
Thanks, I have found a new venue for my writing, working with my hospis patients, helping them leave a poem, story or special words to their family,there is magic in giving back
Love the structure of this - moving from hospital bed to next room to street...to the world. The rhythm is Seussian, which I think fits the subject perfectly.Please don't be offended by that; I mean no offense and wouldn't mind being compared to him myself!
Loved the lines, 'I'm a dolphin on land,an Einstein at sea -
in the air I'll be perfect,
these wings are for me.' Liked the last line as well.
So many good lines, Dave, I'm with 120 socks above and also 'decomposing composing'
It's fun, phantasmagorical, and FANTASTIC! I likes it!
If I Superman you, will you Wonder Woman me?
That was a rollickingly good poem.
Helen
Thanks Helen. This one was strange: whilst I was writing it, I didn't think it was working. After I'd finished it, I thought it might be OK. So I'm particularly interested this time to know what others think.
David
Thanks again.
Kipling
The age old fantasy... yes, I agree.
Delaine
More power to you. That's really worth doing. Hope it all goes very well - as I'm sure it will.
Karen
I'm rather fond of old Seuss, so I'm not offended. Thanks for the comment. Much appreciated.
120 Socks
Thanks for that. Sometimes - as here - some ines just come - and later, when the internal editor kicks in, you start to wonder about them. Good to have the reassurance.
Totalfeckineejit
Much appreciate the comment - as, indeed, I appreciated the prompt. Both great.
Kass
A double act! Double the fun! Sounds tops. Thanks for the comment.
Dave,
I really like the way this poem moves on with its drivng rhythm. Regarding previous comment, I think Seussian is a great compliment. The idea of medical science gone briliantly balmy is still a great theme 200 yrs on from Mary Shelley. Your final line brings it all home in one.
This is a bit Ogden Nashian for me (which is good). I can't say I understand it completely, but I liked it!
Kat
Lucas
My thanks for those comments. I do agree with them. It's a theme that occurs to me from time to time. This time it came out of the blue, so to speak, when I began to write.
Kat
I take the Ogden Nash bit as a compliment. Thanks for it. I'm really glad you liked it.
omni-the-lot!
I shared your vision, I think!
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