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Friday, 9 September 2011

A Gooseberry Garden Spell to Prove a Lover

(see here for details of their suggested modern spell.)

Turn your antenna towards the moon
switch on the box and croak or croon
or whisper it low or simply hiss:
"I summon the flesh that I wish to kiss!
Lover true or faithless cur,
are you Divine - or Lucifer?"

Blackberry, Apple, broadband, i-,
all the powers high on Sky,
Say if my love is far or nigh,
say if my love will live or die.


Say with conviction you wish him well
or if you wish the bugger in hell.
Tell him you'll spell him into bed,
or if you wish, you're wishing him dead.
Remember your mind is far from set.
The spell will tell if love is met.

Blackberry, Apple, broadband, i-,
all the powers high on Sky,
Say if my love is far or nigh,
say if my love will live or die.


Look at the set, the snow, the rune
(ancient wisdom from the moon):
there in the scribble, your love, your hate
to turn you on or to nauseate.
All your hopes and fears are there,
brought to you across the air.

Blackberry, Apple, broadband, i-,
all the powers high on Sky,
Say if my love is far or nigh,
say if my love will live or die.


Now turn off the set, run round it twice
then eat an Indian full of spice.
Eat for joy when the meat is cold,
cold as love that is not bold,
but whether the spell says love is vane
or open your heart to the hurricane,

Blackberry, Apple, broadband, i-,
all the powers high on Sky,
have said if your love is far or nigh,
have said if love will live or die.


Squark in your best voice: "Man is weak!"
and give your SatNav a chance to speak:
'Arriving at destination,' you
have proved your lover good and true,
but heed the words that you're bound to hate:
'Recalculate! Recalculate!'

Blackberry, Apple, broadband, i-,
all the powers high on Sky,
Say if my love is far or nigh,
say if my love will live or die.

14 comments:

Leatherdykeuk said...

what a mix of pagan spell and technology wishing. Masterful, dear sir.

and the word verification was 'Spary Be' - sounds wiccan in itself

Shadow said...

what an amazing criss-cross of ancient folklore and modern technology. love it!

jabblog said...

This is great fun! It beats banana skins or burying things at dawn.

ArtistUnplugged said...

Well, that pretty much sums up relationships....

Rachna Chhabria said...

I like the poem a lot. It has a musical quality to it :)

Crafty Green Poet said...

very entertaining, specially the refrain

Pearl said...

Ah, Dave. Best -- BEST -- thing I've read in days. Utterly fantastic.

Pearl

Everyday Goddess said...

Fabulous! Genius really.

I gave you one of my weekly Goddess awards for your awards page if you are interested.

Well done!

ccchampagne said...

Finally got around to reading this now, Dave and it is amazing! Well worth waiting for and in so many ways exactly what I was hoping my little excursion into the Carmen might lead to! Looks like you really had fun with it too and it is a brilliant, brilliant read! Thank you so much for sharing!

Gerry Snape said...

I'm with Pearl...the best!

Windsmoke. said...

Very lyrical and witty it flowed along at a steady pace from start to finish, gotta be one of your best :-).

David Cranmer said...

Love the refrain. Terrific poem, Dave.

Dave King said...

Leatherdykeuk
Potent mix, I thought, technology and the occult. Scary, too, the word verification - must be something in it!

Shadow
Glad you enjoyed the cocktail.

jabblog
Good to hear you thought so, though it might all hinge on what is being buried!

ArtistUnplugged
Mmmm... not all of them, I hope!

Rachna
Thanks very much for saying so. Good to hear.

Crafty Green Poet
Thanks for that, I was wondering whether the refrain might be too obsessive.

Pearl
Hi Pearl, and a warm welcome to you. Glad you enjoyed your visit. Thank you for saying so with such a generous comment.

Everyday Goddess
Hi, good to have you visiting, and thank you so much for the kindness of thinking of me for your award. I shall be along anon.

ccchampagne
Hi, and thank you greatly for your kind words and for the prompt, the excursion into Carmen etc. I was sans inspiration at the time and it came like manna from heaven. Absolutely appealed to me. And yes, I did really enjoy writing it. Great fun. Thanks again.

Gerry Snape
Thanks for that. Good to know.

Windsmoke
Really good to hear you think that. Thanks for saying.

David
Thanks a lot. Good to hear.

flaubert said...

Hi Dave, I love this! I am terrible at rhyme,you've made it look easy.

Pamela