dVerse Poets Meeting the Bar challenge for this week is to write a poem around a pair of opposites.
Half in, half out of a bad dream,
the moonlight playing tricks,
a glimmer here, a shadow there
and not a switch in sight
when from the darkest corner of the room
a figure glides towards him, stands,
occupies the moonlit patch
where moments back his wife had been.
This face he doesn't know:
long black feathers fringe her head,
woven in the many draughts.
A long black beak... a flood of light.
His wife revealed, the room laid bare.
He knows it now: The Queen's Hotel.
The feathers: pampas grass in jars.
The beak, a stork of porcelain
on which, last night
he'd hung his snowy coat to dry.
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18 comments:
enjoyed it.
from one single pair of contrasting words, you extend your thought far and deep.
have fun playing.
intriguing dave...the lights or shadows can certainly play tricks on you...glad it was his wife he hung his coat on last night...smiles.....happy holidays friend...
The moonlight sure played tricks on his mind. What a dream. Enjoyed this ~
Happy Holidays to you ~
You have captured that feel when we hang between dreaming and reality and are not sure which direction we face.
Oh to have your imagination and your playfulness with words. Another impressive write.
Great contrasts here... this one really speaks to me, perhaps b/c growing up we had pampas grass along our fence:
The feathers: pampas grass in jars
I didn't think this was where this was going, David. Really fine contrast poem.
Both the sly twist of the poem and brian's comment brought a smile, Dave. I also enjoyed your post below with your view of some of my favorite poets as the intoxicating spirits they are--you know what it says on my blog--Poetry is cheaper than whiskey. ;_) A very Merry Christmas and happy holiday season to you.
Last night I was with my dear dead friend during my sleep, and I was really comfortable...
First things first, Dave:
May the Lord bless you and your dear ones at Christmas and throughout the coming year.
Also, thanks for sharing your words freely here. Reading you, D. King, is a real - or "royal" - pleasure.
About your poem of opposites, what a story! I enjoyed it very much. To me, you are the Hitchcock of poetry, full of surprises and unexpected ends, maybe a bottle of champagne whose cork hits my eye, hehehe! Don't worry, I still can see.
The result of this poem is that nothing looks what it seems, less in a moon night!
Suspense..., a nightmare..., a wife gone,... cold weather..., a bare room...; light and dark, as life itself. No face, no head, no body, nobody there. Just pampas grass, porcelain and his coat. He is alone.
Hope the Light from above can shine for him at Christmas.
:)
Very enjoyable and creepy at the same time much like a evil ghost story. Merry Christmas :-).
Wonderful! Thought of Mummers--must've been the pampas grass feathers. Deft and deep. Thank you for this. A very Merry Christmas to you, sir.
simply surreal imagination!
smiles..love this david...such surreal imagination and presented with a smile...gorgeous.. wishing you a joyful holiday season
Wow,
This is sensational!
The mind playing tricks in the gloom of a hotel room...so atmospheric and evocative of things seen and only half-understood.
Definitely my kind of poem :)
The images on the edge of wakefullness are always interesting and sometimes frightening.
Oooh this is gorgeous - such lovely images and most enigmatic too!! You captured a mind lost in a fog of half-wakefulness and confusion most evocatively! Take care
x
Natalie
Hi, Welcome and much thanks for leaving your kind comment.
Brian
Thanks Brian.
Best wishes for the rest of the holiday.
Heaven
Hi, best wishes and thanks.
Tabor
Thanks for this and, yes, I know the moment well!
Mary
Many thanks for these much appreciated words.
Laurie
Thanks Laurie. I'm very fond of pampas grass although we've never had much success at growing it.
Victoria
Ah, hope you weren't disappointed, then! Thanks for the comment.
hedgewitch
Much thanks for your generous response. Good to know you enjoyed the posts. Have a great New Year.
haricot
Slep can be a blessed time.
Dulcina
What a treat of a comment! Thank you so much for it, it was a great joy to read. Do have a really special New Year, you and yours.
Windsmoke
Like the comparison. Thanks very much for it.
ds
Thank you so much. A really much appreciated comment.
Rohit
Thank you. Very generous.
Claudia
Thank you for these kind words. Have a grand New Year.
Ygraine
Thank you for this. Just the sort of comment one hopes for!!
Carl
Yes, fertile ground, not always exploited to the full, I think.
Old Kitty
Grateful thanks for this. Have a joyful holiday.
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