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Sunday, 9 June 2013
Janus Words : Eight "Haiku"
She dusted the cakes
with icing sugar -- my job
was to dust the floors.
Stuck fast in the mud --
unfortunate consequence
of driving too fast.
Lack of oversight
therefore shoddy work slips through --
too many oversights!
root out the old weeds
and see what grand displays of
flowers will take root.
Cleave a carcass clean
in half he can -- yet still he
cleaves to mum and dad.
Do not refrain from
following your own desires --
his constant refrain.
Once the sanctions bite
then we can sanction something
rather less extreme.
The sun has come out
so we will make hay -- and sleep
when the lights go out.
Following the suggestion of Manicddaily at dVerse Poets that we write something on twins, opposites or the divided self, I thought of Janus Words, those words which carry two opposite meanings and tried using the haiku form - though not too successfully, I feel
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27 comments:
Oh wow David the imagery, I love this poem I just can't stop reading it!
The new prompt is up =)
Good job! An enjoyable read! :)
Such a clever idea - I would not have thought of it. Homonyms - but really antonym homonyms --I think my favorites were the sugar and baker ==something so psychologically real about them both and word use especially potent. k.
Very creative, Dave!
actually its pretty cool...kinda like keruoac and haiku...def clever in your approach, ha...like how you use the different meanings of words in this dave....
I love your approach on this, Dave, and enjoyed all of the haiku. I smiled at the first one. I can imagine lots of that icing sugar had to be dusted off the floor!!
Well, this certainly took some work. It would have taken me months!!
haiku works so well with opposites. In the genes of that poetry. like pearls on a necklace a wonderful read.
'Cleave' is my favouritest word.
I like the contrast in each verse, Dave ~ My fav are the old weeds/flowers and refrain/constant refrain ~
These are great, Dave!
A truly fabulous read.:)
Very clever concept for the challenge, Dave, and nicely turned in each case.
you did not dip from the well too often - well played. ~ M
I enjoyed them all, but the one about cleaving the carcass is an absolute masterpiece.
Each a wonderful poetic gem:-) !
Aloha
Love it, love it, love it! :-) Especially the first two.
Greetings from London.
I love this idea and you have done wonders with it!
"Cleave" is one that I particularly find strange in its opposite meanings.
Fascinating. Thank you. I do love words and their rich and varied uses - which you have encapsulated beautifully here.
Well I don't think you can call it a failure. Its very cleverly done, and a most original interpretation of the prompt.
Nicely done. You set the bar pretty high for yourself and cleared it I think.
Excellent - love the third!
Anna :o]
They're perfect, Dave! Could not have been better! Great!
Hank
Thank you so much Everyone.
I would like to write more, even answer each individually, but the truth is I am having a bad day health-wise, and I shall have to leave it at this - plus my especial thanks to the much-appreciated newcomers.
Feel better Dave! I hope it is nothing serious.
Thanks Carl. No, I think I'm going on for a bit yet!
Glad to hear it Dave!
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