First car, first kiss, two loves, first ex...
Cause and effects and how they vex.
Gloss green, two-seats, a luggage rack -
trendy too - no half-seat in the back!
And I was green - without the chrome.
Peerless we were when close to home.
Our favourite haunt, the loving tree.
She loved the car; I thought she fancied me.
But of the kisses I'll not tell,
nor what took place to break the spell.
In any case, the die was cast:
four battered knees - it could not last.
Four parents ending the affair,
my rapture turning to despair.
The final blow had been a shock:
crunch time for knees - a stumbling block,
the pedals now too near the seat
for push-pull motions of the feet.
Two loves lost to a single blow,
a world of sunshine turned to snow.
The car first mothballed and then sold -
first ever thoughts of growing old,
first ever thoughts that what you know
can turn to nothing as you grow.
The world was not a faithful place
with love and loss so commonplace.
The Gulf oil spillage
said to be what the US burns -
every five hours.
(Every 5 hours, 10 minutes, to be precise,
but this statistic struck me rather forcibly.
The volume is said to be 184 million gallons.)
20 comments:
Oh, yes! You've earned your ticket for Monday's bus, that's for sure!
I really enjoyed your poem--a lot of truths in there.
Amazing statistic about the oil in the gulf.
Bitter and sweet. A great ride on the bus.
I don't always enjoy rhyming poems, but because of the subject I enjoyed this. And the haiku--us Americans are so wasteful and greedy!
Oh Dave, I have a vision ~ a vintage MG with racing stripes! And two lovers .... oh, how fun!
but, the oil spill ~ it's no fun!
The adult world and the childhood world are so similar yet worlds apart! I can see that car so clearly, and the rhymes help to drive the narrative I think.
dave reading this brought me to remember my brother explaining the mechanics of sex in a mini.......... the gulf oil stat . . . oh my!!! steven
Bloody hell! That oil stat is incredible!
The poem however is simply wonderful!
Poignant ,reflective, sad, but wonderful!
I am a little perplexed over the four battered knees imagery.
Rather adventurous for a first timer I would say.
jinksy
Bless you!
pilgrimchick
Hi, welcome and many thanks for the comments.
Gwei
Yes, bitter sweet expresses it exactly, I think.
Conda
I hardly ever use rhyme (end rhyme, that is) if I'm being totally serious, mostly just for fun. As for the oil, I wonder what the stats would be for Europe (say)?
Helen
That's life I guess - fun and no fun!
Lucas
Believe it or not, I had all but forgotten it until I came across a photograph of me in it a while ago - no sign of Pam, though.
steven
I remember an uncle of mine warning me about minis when I was learning to drive - They're like virgins - bloody hard to get into and no fun when you're there! I can't say that's been my experienc - but about which, I will not say.
Totalfeckineejit
Yes, I thought the stat incredible - almost unbelievable. Bu thanks fr the remarks about the poem.
Rallentanda
Ah, the knees! I did wonder if they might cause more trouble. We had quietly outgrown the car and were scraping our knees on the underside of the dash. Bruised and grazed rather than battered - but a little poetic license.
I love rhyming poems and this one was really good! The rhythm of it was really attractive to me.
Loved the poem. It bounced along with lightness and bemusement. Oil stats - not so much.
This is lovely...
Remarkabale...
"Two loves lost to a single blow,
a world of sunshine turned to snow." OMG..simply Brilliant :)
~Cheers
Argent
Thanks and welcome to the blog. You have to take some of the credit for your inspirational prompt.
Kass
I agree: the oil stats do lack bounce!
Erratic Thoughts
A warm welcome to you and my thanks for your comments. They are much appreciated.
I want to know what happened!!!!
It was full of angst, this Bus ticket. Nice work, Davey.
Masochistic Rhythms
A sad tale indeed Dave
Sad poem in your Tunnel of Unrequited Love. The oil statistic only reflects what so many of us in the U.S. feel: the desperate need for change. We must keep in mind that we are stewards of this planet, and the now thousands of sea life that has perished in this ecological disaster.
Love the four battered knees - rhyme and rhythm well maintained throughout
Enchanted Oak
Me lips is sealed. I'm no kiss and tell guy!
Mine is angst, if you like - yours, sheer ecstacy.
Weaver
Doubly sad, with the car having to go - the shiny red trike hardly made up for it.
Jeanne Iris
Welcome Jeanne and thanks for the observations. I agree with you completely on the oil.
Peter
Many thanks.
Wow, Dave! This is enigmatic and poignant and goood!
Post a Comment