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Tuesday, 21 February 2012

U.F.O. Chaser Extraordinaire


On this portentous day with palindromic date
of 21.02.20-12, Shrove - "Sorry" - Tuesday, on
this day on which the world, the cosmos, might
be tempted to heave up its unguent back
and scatter humans to the outer fringes of existence,
on this most likely of all days,
Mark, Detective Secretary of The Things in Space Society -
Blipper to his friends - is cycling home. The bliss!
The open road, the peaceful night as dark as pitch...
His joy is interrupted by his front lamp going out.
Almost simultaneously, on yonder hill
a radiance, a phosphorescence bathes
the world - the whole of it, so far as he can see - in light.

Push and puff to reach the top
to find the source
so clearly sent
from outer space. He gasps
from lack of oxygen, from disbelief.
A light-emitting diode - the largest
ever seen - and in the shape
of one of those old phone booths. Psychedelic.
Radiant. Metallic. Space ship.
Quite beyond a doubt. It throbs with light...

and the telephone is ringing.
Eerily. Insistently.
Unlike all phones he'd heard before.
Jangle of a dozen noises.
Jangle of nerves, he picks it up.
Jangle of whirrings now, tappings, tickings
and escaping steam. High-pitched screams
of slipping belts and centuries old technologies.
Tick of clockwork in the throes of going bust.

"Hello! Whose there?"
he bellows at the mouthpiece.
Sounds extraordinary
sounds extra-terrestrial
are coming from it. Indescribable.
Like alien tongues reflected from a sheet of
corrugated iron
and filtered through a bag of nails.

And then a voice he recognises.
Joseph from the office. Laughing.
"Gotcha this time, eh?"

A Magpie Tales story.

22 comments:

The Elephant's Child said...

And got me too.

Gerry Snape said...

that's a great one...I thought maybe we were going to go all spooky....but love the ending. what a great date!

Mary said...

Very clever, Dave!

Margaret said...

High-pitched screams
of slipping belts and centuries old technologies.

ha... booths like these are becoming a thing of the "distant" past. Extra terrestrial like indeed! ... fun.

Kat Mortensen said...

Ha! Shouldn't this one be on April 1st?

I laughed. I'd thought of Area 51 as well.

JeannetteLS said...

Oh, Dave, I'll just bet you had fun with this one. I SURE had fun reading it.

Brian Miller said...

haha you are a hott man...you got me too...fun storytelling man...smiles....

Mama Zen said...

This is hilarious!

Lucy Westenra said...

You never disappoint, Dave. Great stuff.

Wayne Pitchko said...

nicely done Dave,,,thanks for sharing this

Windsmoke. said...

My first thought toward the end was this guy is gunna be sucked through the phone and onto an alien spaceship, but it wasn't to be, you really got me on this one :-).

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

Whew! You got me there!

JJrod'z

Linda said...

Whose office Dave? St. Peter's perhaps.... wonderful foreshadowing, building the suspense. A little office humour taken to the nth degree. Great fun. You had me.

tariq mian said...

great write up Dave--
enjoyed going through till the end.

zongrik said...

i like all the jangles

three dancer senryu

Cloudia said...

love your description of the other-worldly telephone transmission!


Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral

>< } } ( ° >

Isabel Doyle said...

well caught!

CC Champagne said...

Very interesting and entertaining. Different stylistically but also left me feeling very inspired! I like!!! *smile*

Dave King said...

The Elephant's Child
Ha! I shall count that an amazing success then, thanks!

Gerry
I like doing spooks but I thought: time to spook the spooks. Thanks.

Mary
Many thanks.

Margaret
Hi, good to have your company and you comments. Thanks for them.

Kat
I did actually think of ending with the words "April Fool!" - but wouldn't that have made me the fool?

Jeanette
I did have fun. yes. Good to hear that you did too!

Brian
Ha, I'm chalking them all up!

Mama Zen
Thanks for saying.

Lucy Westenra
Hi, Welcome and many thanks for visiting. Also for the comment. Good to have.

Wayne
And many thanks for the response. It's really good to have your visit.

Windsmoke
Ah, well, maybe next time...

JJ Roa
Main thing is, I Got your visit and your comment. Both are much appreciated. Thanks for them.

Linda
Ah, I left it open, whose office. I thought of clarifying, but then thought it was irrelevant info'. Thanks for the comment.

tariq
Thanks a lot for this. Much appreciated.

zongrik
Thanks. Nice to know.

Cloudia
Thanks.

Isabel
Thanks for saying.

CC Champagne
A very encouraging comment. Thanks for it.

Tess Kincaid said...

Love this...jangle is one of my favorite words...

Ygraine said...

Absolutely wonderful, Dave!
Witty, amusing, and very funny.
Love it :)

Helen said...

The neatest thing about your poetry is how you take us in so many directions, to so many places ~ you never disappoint.