We are on a train,
you and I
and the people we know,
rushing towards a tunnel.
But we do not sit like good little passengers
staring remotely past one another
at the glories of Brighton Pavilion,
Lake Windermere, Kew Gardens
or The Yorkshire Moors framed
beneath the luggage rack.
Not on your life! Our heads are far out of the open windows
feeling the blast of cold air
the adrenalin stream,
looking ahead to the tunnel rushing to meet us,
waiting for death, but not believing it will come.
They have posted a warning above each window
stating in simple English, clearly, the dangers that lurk.
But no, the adrenalin now is a flood, and we
may be beyond the point of no return.
what we feel is more real
than what we are told
what we know.
Look ahead - the tunnel still unmistakably there
look sideways
and all is a blur:
a world that is flying
and out of our control.
Do we hope that the slipstream will blow us apart?
free us from ourselves,
that ghost-like
we'll take the walls in our stride,
slide
through the concrete without breaking sweat?
Because everything for so long has been smoke and mirrors
and solid things we have seen melt away,
can we believe that
the next catastrophe
will be of no more
substance than what has gone before?
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16 comments:
Dave, I don't know how (or if?) I have missed your posts over the past few months, but this poem is brilliant, I have to say. I love the train imagery and the feeling that we are not in control, the nice touches of of the sideways blur as opposed to the clear sight ahead, and the feeling that the world is about to melt, collapse, change irrevocably (maybe it is).
Stunningly good, unsettling yes, but this works so well for me.
David F. Barker
Hi David - agree with other David - wonderful poem - although I have to say that catastrophes tend to generally feel more real to me than the rest of that--I think! Of course, there's a sense of time just sliding along no matter what, and that's an unreal base to everything else.
Your placement of the lines very effective here. k.
The invincibility of youth. My parents lied about a few things - I will not suffer agonising cramps and drown if I swim after lunch, if I have my elbow out the car window my arm will not be amputated by a car going the opposite way (or not often anyway) so it seems quite reasonable to assume that they were all lies....
I loved this - thank you.
Just saw on the news this morning a new tape made by Al Queda, that they are apparently giving up on the underwear bomb but are working toward cyber terrorism. Examples given, but I won't get into them. Indeed there has been a lot of smoke and mirrors, and we are all on the same train. I do worry about the London Olympics, as I worry every time the Olympics are held.
At the end of the day I am sure my husband feels that way. He stares out at the blur all day, but at the beginning of night fall he sees the tunnel.
i hear you the smoke and mirrors...i find it interesting though that the catastrophes always seem to bring us closer together than driving us apart you know...the next catastrophe is coming though...
A bloody genius way of interpreting pain between two parties. I tip my hat to you my good sir; you've done your job again!
My new favourite.
This one has an ever mounting momentum, riddled with great lines--I especially liked thses, David:
"..what we feel is more real/ than what we are told/than what we know..."
And that leads to a lot of (if you'll pardon my inadvertent punning) tunnel vision and collisions with disaster.
so true and i like the fact that this works just as well in the literal sense as in the metaphoric
Excellent poem and a wonderful read. I tend to read this as metaphorical, but it works on a literal level as well. There are so many catastropies in life, and how we deal with them is called living.
Brilliant one Dave. I know this feeling all too well.
I reckon we are all on a runaway train heading for the next catastrophe its only a matter of when :-).
Hi Mr Dave,another brillliant concept from your side,like it.
Hi, Dave. I can feel the speed of train and the clear thoughts against the blur reality. I exactlly remember the old scenes in a train in my past.(Thank you for your kind responce inspite of my poor English.
David
Hi and a warm welcome. It is good to have your company. Your comments, too, are much appreciated. Thank yo so much for your very kind words.
manicddaily
I do agree about the reality of catastrophes, but wasn't saying they had no substance, merely asking the question: can we believe they have no... etc.
Thanks especially for your comment on the line placement. That is particularly useful.
The Elephant's Child
Thanks greatly for this - of course, yor parents were telling the truth: your elbow would not be amputated very often! Enjoyed your comment.
Mary
Yes, there's been this rumour - if that's what it is - for some time about the move to cyber terrorism - and from their perspective it makes sense. They can do more damage, more easily , at less risk to themselves.
Tabor
Man after my own heart! This has cheered me no end.
Brian
Yes, it is rather strange when you think about it. Something we normally take for granted, I guess.
Aristoph
Very kind indeed. Thank you so much and welcome. So good to have you visiting. (The encouragement also goes down well!)
hedgewitch
Thank you so much, such a useful and interesting comment. And tunnel vision - pardon it? I love it! Thanks again.
Crafty Green Poet
Useful observation. Thanks for it.
Jackie
Good to have you aboard. Thank you for your visit and your comment. Excellent final point you make - wish I'd thought of it for the poem!
Carl
Thanks a lot for this.
Windsmoke
Cheerful... but I wouldn't say you're wrong!
sunny
Thank you. Much appreciated.
haricot
Just the sort of comment one likes to read, in fact. Your English has never been a hindrance for me.
On the contrary: I congratulate you on it.
Wow, spine chilling and very powerful! this will haunt me.
I always had a weird compulsion to stick my head out of the window when I ever read that notice. As perhaps many of us did.
Help!
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