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Tuesday, 22 May 2012

the voices

You close your eyes
summon an image or two
of someone who is - was -
close to you.

You see them in old
familiar places,
smile at the way
they display their graces.

Or in desperation
you speak
into a darkness
of self-deception.

Later each face
acquires a voice, will come
unsummoned then
in mirage or delirium.

22 comments:

Windsmoke. said...

Spooky one that with all those voices suddenly speaking to you :-).

The Elephant's Child said...

Ouch. I am now unable to see my mother any other way than dead. That final vision, with the luminous green screen behind her flat-lined, has replaced all the other images.

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

I didn't find this spooky, I found it reflective and reassuring.

Jim Murdoch said...

I’ve read this over several times and I keep tripping over the same bit: ‘will come’. It doesn’t feel grammatically correct but I’m having trouble explaining what’s wrong with it; I am by no means an expert. I would change it to “acquires a voice that comes”. I mean “a voice will come” works. It’s the comma that’s screwing things up. But why? “Later each face acquires a voice [that] will come unsummoned then in mirage or delirium” works too. I might also do away with the period at the end of the second verse. The end rhymes are not so obvious in the first and final verses because of the enjambment. If you omitted the period readers would be less inclined to place an emphasis on ‘graces’ and skip lightly over it to the next stanza. Other than that I like the piece.

Muhammad Israr said...

fantastic as ever :) liked it...

Mary said...

Sometimes I DO wish I could summon back the image of someone gone in their old familiar places, with their own particular graces. I guess I didn't find this poem eerie at all.

Ash said...

Beautiful! I love it!

Brian Miller said...

it is the ones that come unsummoned that scare me far more than any i can conjure...you know...

kaykuala said...

Reflecting on a relationship can result in contrasting effects. Dreamers can get lots of ideas in either case, I suppose!
Great write,Dave!

Hank

tariqMian said...

everyday in our life leaves the past behind which is gone forever but we keep imagining.
In other words, we rewind to replay but without true satisfaction==that's life.

Nice piece--DAVE

Carl said...

The double edged sword of memory can delight and destroy.

fiveloaf said...

lovely david.

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

Simple and strong. A flash and a statement. One of your best.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Interesting poem Dave - I personally find it quite impossible to summon up an image of anyone who has gone - sometimes wish I could.

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Dave,

Very embracing words, which make a real connection....

As one who like to delve back into the past, I appreciated this thought very much.

Sorry for my recent absence from commenting etc...
Eileen

haricot said...

Voice, it is one of symbolic facts when I look back my past. Symbolic but quite physical and concrete.
Your words are very inspiring as always.(I was busy but happy to be able to come here again)

manicddaily said...

This shows your lyrical side. The lovely rhythms fit more archetypically poetic subject. k.

Dave King said...

Windsmoke
Well, not necessarily.

The Elephant's Child
Eeek! I didn't mean that! Where did that come from? I was actually entertaining very pleasant thoughts about family when these lines occured without warning. I didn't redraft, just wrote them down.

ordinarylifelessordinary
Good to hear. Thanks.

Jim
Some interesting points you raise. My thanks for doing so.
Can't see anything wrong with will come myself. It's the faces that will come, not the voices. Each face acquires a voice (and) will come unsummoned...
I do see the point re the period at the end of verse 2, but am not yet persuaded of it. What I have been meditating upon is whether to add a period after voices in the final verse.

Muhammad
Much thanks. Appreciated.

Mary
I'm glad you didn't. It wasn't meant to be eerie, neither was it only the departed being spoken of, but someone who is - was - close to you.
Thank you for the comment.

Ash
Welcome, good to have your visit - and your very valued comment.

Brian
Know what you mean! Can happen. Definitely.

Hank
Thanks. Yes, I'm sure that's right.

tariqMian
Absolutely! Thanks for saying.

Carl
Good metaphor.

fiveloaf
Thank you so much. Good to have you visiting.

Tommaso
Thanks. It was one of those that arrived without ceremony.

The Weaver of Grass
I can some, not all, though. It's all so entangled with feelings, isn't it? Sometimes feelings you are not even aware you have.

Eileen
Apologies not necessary, but really good to have you visiting again.
Thank you for your helpful words.

Dave King said...

manicddaily
This must be down to the way they occurred to me. Had I just had the idea and worked on the text in the usual way, I don't think I would have left them like this. I did leave them because that inner voice told me to. Thanks very much for your remark: it has confirmed a few things that I was debating with myself!

A Cuban In London said...

Or in an album. Where will those faces go when we have no longer photo albums? When we're nothing but the value of a megabyte? That's worth a poem, and who better than you to write it? :-)

Greetings from London.

rch said...

Hey Dave is it wrong of me to say this one speaks to me? Seriously good.

Ygraine said...

These words I hear so often, but rather than "mirage" or "delirium", I perceive them as contacts from the Spirit World.
As a child I found it very comforting when "deceased" Grand parents, aunts and uncles would come and reassure me.
I realise this isn't quite your intended meaning, but just wanted to share my perspective with you.
I hope you don't mind!