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Sunday, 24 October 2010

Magpie Tales #37 and Haiku #298

Metres from the wall on which it hung
fallen on the unmade bed -
having flown around the room -
reflecting nothing human
inviting you to look.
But if you look, my friend, look in
with fear and shuddering
lest you should see yourself.
Your true world waits to claim you as its own.

Two and a half grand
their disposable income -
that's eighteen year olds.


Deborah said...

Thoughtprovoking and very well written, well done!

Kathe W. said...


Raj said...

exquisite. the last lines especially.

Paul C said...

A macabre look at ourselves?

The Blog of Bee said...

I once told someone who was wondering why she was being treated the way she was, that perhaps she should look in the mirror.

Your terrific words brought that back to me.

Business IQ said...

Wonderful! I absolutely love the last line.

Reflections said...

Nice write, love the last line of the first poetic endeavor here.

Windsmoke. said...

Sounds like a ghost wanting to cross over to the after life but no payment has been made to the ferryman.

The lady in Red said...

Dear David, the phrase "your true world waits to claim you as its own" answers a question that I have made to myself in a personal problem. Thanks a lot! I should write much more in my blog. Thanks for the poem. it is intriguing and inspirational.
Best wishes and have a nice week,

Doc FTSE said...

Very good work. I agree with all those who drew attention to your last line.

Dave King said...

Welcome and my thanks for stopping by to comment.

Thanks so much for the comment. Good to have you aboard.

Thanks. Appreciate that.

Paul C
Indeed so!

Bee's Blog
Welcome to my blog and my sincere thanks for the comment. Very apt.

Peaceful Pandemonum
Welcome and many thanks for the feedback.

Thanks again. Good to have the reaction.

Wish I'd thought of that scenario! Excellent.

The Lady in Red
Welocme Rosana and very many thanks for the interesting feedback. Much appreciated.

Hi and very welcome. The comment is much appreciated.

izzy said...

I thought definite attic-
the dark patches will snatch ya...

Dave King said...

Yup, guess so. Welcome to you.

Lucas said...

A very haunting set of images - I love the way the mirror becomes airborn before it takes the step of presenting the looker with its invitation, almost some kind of predatory bird.

Claudia said...

this gives me shivers - intense writing with a breath-taking last line

Dave King said...

I like the idea of the predatory bird. Thanks for commenting.

Thanks for that Claudia.

Noelle Dunn.... A Poet in Progress said...

love this one too, Dave.