This is Davina

Davina was referred to me by the staff of the Special Needs School
                                       at which I was Deputy Head.
They had just heard that I was leaving to set up a similar school 
                                       in another county.
Davina was referred to me as my first pupil.
She came, as you would expect, with a complete set of records:
                           Educational
                           Medical
                           Speech Therapy
                           Psychological
                           and an overall assessment.

Here is a flavour of what they contained:-

        The speech therapist had written that Davina suffered from:
                           "a considerable inter-cochlea cavity".

        The school assessment contained these questions: 
        "Can the pupil manipulate numbers?"
to which the answer was: "Yes, by a complex computational method
                           which the examiner was unable to follow."
        "Why do people go to church?"
to which the answer was: "To nail Jesus to the cross."
        "How is a ball like an orange?"
To which the answer was: "I can bite it and I can spit it out".

The School Report carried the information that she had been 
                          excluded from two previous schools,
from the first for "Misbehaviour on a school visit."She had sung bawdy
                          versions of the hymns at the school's Parish
                          Church Harvest Festival Service, and under 
                          the pretext of going to the loo, had managed
                          to leave  pornographic graffiti by the font;
and from her second school for "Trying to eat the class hamster live."
(She did seem to have a special talent for pornographic drawing.)

That was all 30 years or more ago. When she reached school leaving age
I, of course, adopted her. She is still with me.