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Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Fissures are Us.


The above prompt is from Magpie Tales to whom much thanks

The world is fractured
and here we see the truth of that
made manifest.
The motor car is villain of the piece.
Once inside the metal box
there's nothing of the world outside
but it's reflected face.
Reflections of reflections,
reflections laid upon reflections.
Glass shines like steel
and slices steel, while slivers
of that steel slide back and forth
dissecting glass. Dissection
overtakes the world.
Man
caught in the reflections' crossfire
stands no chance.
A flick of light, a flash
reflected endlessly
and monoliths of steel and concrete
splinter with sharp edges. Fallen shards
are littering the town.

The city might be made of ice,
it breaks the way ice breaks across a pond.
We see a spider's web of cracks.
The cracks run deep
and cannot be repaired.
Only the car escapes decomposition.
The car which should connect us
root to stem to flower or leaf,
becomes the disconnect,
becomes the only world we know
of which we can be sure.
Only the drunkards fail to see the difference
and wander over cracks
that can't be papered over.
The car is such a claustrophobic world,
but small and tight are its two secrets:
small enough to hold its wholeness -
a fortress in this wilderness.

21 comments:

Isabel Doyle said...

I like your shards and the ice city but I feel the heart of the poem is buried in a few too many layers of splintering/reflecting. But then again I might simply be too literal-minded.

Isabel x

The Weaver of Grass said...

I agree that once we are inside the car we become totally protected by it and see the world in a different way. I liked this poem Dave.

Carl said...

Yes. The car has taken us from our environment. We drive past the neighbors house instead of stopping in to check on them. We are anonymous in our cars. It is another way technology has impacted ( and not for the better) society.

Muhammad Israr said...

well i guess what i understand by this is that the car is symbolic for the rich and money and with it people tend to distance themselves from the rest of us... marvelous as usual you are ;)

sunny said...

Hi Mr dave,your writing style is very different and easy to understand.

Ann Grenier said...

Dissection
overtakes the world.
Man
caught in the reflections' crossfire
stands no chance.

We feel the truth of this more every day. Disheartening. You have chosen a perfect metaphor for our condition.I find myself looking back, constantly comparing what used-to-be with today, fearing the world my grandchildren will inherit.

Helen said...

... dissection overtakes the world! How appropriate. You have a magic way of getting to the heart of the matter.

Britania said...

wow! absolutely breathtaking.

"Reflections of reflections,
reflections laid upon reflections.
Glass shines like steel
and slices steel, while slivers
of that steel slide back and forth
dissecting glass. Dissection
overtakes the world."

this part made me stop reading, and re-read from the start. so much depth in your work. congratulations!

Tumblewords: said...

The reflection of reflections. This feels very like the world - fragmented mirrors, reflections unjoined. Love the multi-layers.

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

Once more, a triumph the last two lines.. concluding a poem in which meaning is greatly reinforced by sound.

Christine said...

It takes time to find the centre of this poem, the enclosed world of the car that cuts communication between humans.It makes me think of Lawrence's world of machinery, so much against nature.I think though that the poem could be tightened... but I am still learning, too.

Windsmoke. said...

The car is a mobile fortress against the wilderness :-).

JeannetteLS said...

I like--artistically--all those layers upon layers of reflections and disconnect. It hit me between the eyes. Several different interpretations, which is always fun. For me it didn't speak of wealth, but our disjointed, fragmented societies and ways of life. We drive through without seeing, we drive away, we hide in our cars with our music and our cell phones and our busy minds, not seeing.

For me, that's where it hit the core of me. And made me sigh.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

this is nice... Now that I am taking my driving lesson, yes i believe once I am inside the car, it is my protection out there.

Nice take sir!

JJRod'z

Mary said...

Ah yes, the car is such a claustrophobic world indeed, now that you mention it!! People are just trapped there as they go from point A to point B!

haricot said...

Your way of descriptions of the dark side of the society and human beings have a lot of reality.
I'm amazed and frightened...

Thank you very much for visiting my blog.
From Japan,

Dave King said...

Isabel
No, fair comment, I think. Thanks for saying.

The Weaver of Grass
Good to hear that you liked it. It is strange the transformations that overtake some people behind the wheel.

Carl
Good point. Yes, you are absolutely right.

Muhammad
Thanks again for the comments. It's really good to have them. Yes, I was thinking of the car as a sort of micra-environment insulating us from whatever might be the larger picture.

sunny
Much thanks for this. Very helpful.

Ann
A warm welcome to you and many thanks for the interesting comment. I can relate absolutely to your fears. I think we all have them for our children and grandchildren.

Helen
Really good of you to say so. Thank you.

Britania
Welcome to the blog. And thank you so much for your very kind words.

Tumblewords
Thank you for this. It's good to know how the poem seems to others.

Tommaso
Thank you. As always, a very helpful observation.

Christine
Many thanks for this. Yes, we are all learning, and yes, I think you arecorrect, that the poem could be tightened. I was rather seduced I think by the idea of multiplicity, of refections being reflected etc etc, and tried to build that into the poem. Thanks for saying what you felt.

Windsmoke
Interesting that you should choose that line... thanks.

Jeanette
Yes, you are right about the different interpretations. I started with the idea of being shut away in a sort of mobile cell, away from the world, but that opens out into all sorts of things.

JJ Roa Rodriguez
Hi and welcome to the blog. Good to have you. Yes, I see exactly how that would be.

Mary
Yes, exactly.

haricot
Good to have your visit and your comment. Thank you for your kind words.

Jinksy said...

becomes the disconnect

This, for me, summed up the whole feel of the image - unreal, other worldly reflections of reflections.

Mary said...

Great poem ..particulay liked 'a fortress in this wilderness'.

Morning said...

very deep, you have incredible imaginations.

Morning said...

very deep, you have incredible imaginations.