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Monday 27 December 2010

A Christmas Present

Muse Swings set this prompt on behalf of The Poetry Bus this week. The challenge was a poem about our most useless Christmas present. I don't think I've ever had a completely useless one - or I've cast it into my mental limbo - but this one came pretty close.

A cosy for your egg, she said.
A present from my aunt to match
that of the year before -
the famous Fair Isle socks

The cosy, too, was Fair Isle,
and like the stockings, knitted
by her own fair hands -
and just as generous.

She was alive to every
possibility, my aunt,
even that some day we might
start keeping ostriches.

Two thicknesses and lined,
turned inside out - I can't
think why - it made the perfect
blindfold for our party games.

This Haiku almost suggested a new verse for The Twelve Days of Christmas

a lunar surface
frozen snow     ice-filled craters
two magpies slipping


The Weaver of Grass said...

What a delightful poem Dave - yes egg cosies are pretty useless things. I found an element of whimsy in the poem and i liked that.

Peter Goulding said...

Sounds like something they advertise on the Shopping Channel. Tired of your hard boiled eggs going cold too quickly? Introducing...

Mrs.Trellis said...

How enterprising to find an alternative use for your egg-cosy! (If by any chance you read "Photoshop 7 for Dummies", you'll find a reference to a knitted cosy for your printer!)

The interesting reference to ostriches? An implication that the egg cosy was somewhat oversize?

Tabor said...

An egg cozy? You do live on a different planet than I. I will have to think hard for any useless presents...there are ones I did not want or like...but useless?

Unknown said...

Maybe it was intended for a whole clutch of eggs, Dave? And what's wrong with an egg cosy; there are plenty for sale out there!

David Cranmer said...

"... even that some day we might
start keeping ostriches."


Kat Mortensen said...

I'm having a hard time visualizing this egg-cozy and figuring out how it was used as a blindfold. I did enjoy the poem though.


MuseSwings said...

Bwahaha! Loved how you crept in with the ostrich line. Others above, more practically inclined, suggest the cozy may be for a dozen but if that were the case it would be called an eggs cozy - and it's not.

Argent said...

Hehe, at least you found a use for your awful gift. A most amusing poem.

Lucas said...

I do bremember egg-cosies as being if not all the rage at least a product of an early Arts and Crafts lesson. I agree that they have very little use unless for someone who eats breakfast quite a time after it has been cooked. The poem is very economical with fine ironic juxtapositions. Thanks Dave, and a Happy New Year to you.

Helen said...

Dave, so funny. I must confess I had never heard of an egg cosy. But you certainly put it to good use.

Unknown said...

That takes me back a few years! Cosy's for eggs and I do recall for loo rolls as well!

Jinksy said...

Perhaps it was really a prototype 'beanie'?! LOL

Lucy Westenra said...

When I was little, our knitted egg cosies were little owls. Where has all that magic gone? Neat poem, BTW.

Kass said...

I have a number of egg cosies made by my grandmother. I use them to decorate plastic eggs at Easter. Some of the cosies are made in the shape of chickens.

Nice poem.

Dave King said...

Thanks Weaver
My aunt was noted for such presents, but was much loved. The wimsy was intended, so it is very gratifying to find that it was noted - I wasn't sure it would be.

I guess it was a bit like that... who would have believed my aunt could have been before her time!

Mrs Trellis
Wonderful! No, I didn't know about the cosy for printers. Absolutely, the cosy was enormous, like a barrage balloon.

Exactly, there's a world of difference. As an egg cosy it was useless - there was so much space around the egg it got cold anyway!

That is the suggestion of an advanced thinker... maybe that's what my aunt was - and we never knew.

Dave King said...

We never did.

We pulled it down over our heads like a sack. (I did say it was generous.)

Muse Swings
Give that lady a lollipop! Exactly so.

Thanks for that.

I don't think my aunt would have thought it out like that, but yes. Thanks for the useful comment.

Glad you saw the funny side of it.

Yes, but can't think what their purpose was on a loo roll. Maybe some folk warmed them up on cold nights...

I think you may have put your finger on it!

Hi, good to have you visiting. An what a good question: where indeed? Thanks for the comment.

Sounds like a brilliant idea - would not have been for my cosy though!

Dick said...

Egg cosies - I'd all but forgotten the phenomenon! They belong, I suppose, to an era in which ambient cold was simply taken for granted and the egg cosy was a reasonable response for any situation in which the boiled egg wasn't consumed immediately.

I like the revelation at the end that the problem was not so much choice of artifact as its size. A great closing stanza.

Dave King said...

Yes, they point in several ways to the differences between the two eras.
you are right, the whole point was the size!