It was, the critics said,
the perfect pas de deux.
The leaps, the steps, the moves...
and more importantly:
our perfect empathy;
two bodies known as one.
That lift, so difficult,
I nailed it that one night.
We both left high as kites.
Let's crown the night, you said.
Your place, we thought, the best -
the first for us as one.
Along the motorway
I followed your tail light.
That cutting through the hills...
you'd forged ahead a bit.
I saw you leave the road
shoot up the steep incline...
I thought you'd roll back down.
But no, the perfect arc
as earlier on stage
that brought you back to me.
The two cars fused as one
and shared a sheet of flame.
We watch the dancing now.
I can barely hobble,
you barely understand...
except just now and then
a flicker in those eyes
to greet the pas de deux.
extract from the poem Koi by John Burnside All afternoon we've wandered from the pool to alpine beds and roses ...
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Excellent & chilling. Sensational, but measured and earned, not cheaply sensational, Dave. Quite a pas de deux between two poles in that, eh?
Such a delight to see a mind as fine as yours at play-
Aloha from Waikiki
> < } } ( ° >
Well, I did have to look up pas de deux to be sure I had the right meaning. I love the progression, the tale. Quite a fiery dance indeed.
So sad. wonderfully crafted poem.
Eek. Pas deux anymore. (Maybe you should work Dieu in there!) Very chilling, and somewhat unexpected too. Well done in poem, a bit like song, really, if you added a refrain about fate and its tyrannical whimsy! K.
this is chilling...wasn't sure if it's a real car crash or a metaphor for a fiery night...ugh...but then in the end...it gave me goosebumps...what a tragical story.. i wished they had danced on..
ha i like maniks idea of the song as it is almost there...oh the dance...and the crash make fine metaphors...and in reality or other wise are chilling...
Unexpected but perfect, sad and reflective.
I was startled by the ending, but then that is what makes it such a marvelous piece..Nice work!
Swan Lake is my favourite ballet. From people on stage in a ballet to cars on the road in a ballet who would of thought you could fit them into one poem, well done :-).
Ah jeez, Dave. Not an expected finale, for sure. I enjoyed the metaphorical qualities in this poem and you had me wondering about the backstory...what is fiction and what is imagination. You are such a story-teller.
Tragic ballet, Dave, but worth dancing & reading.
You know how to surprise your readers at the end!
Love this one, you have created a dance on the page.
Graceful images of the dance, while on the cars I had difficulty for image but it's modern and speedy.
Just one word for it..SENSATIONAL!!
Oh...tragedy in it's truest sense, and masterfully crafted.
Thank you so much for your lovely compliments.
Thank you, your comments are very much appreciated.
Thanks Carl. Your comments always welcome.
Fate and its tyrannical whimsy? Like the thought, not sure I'd have what it would take to do that. Thanks, though.
For me, all dancing is!
Yup, was meant to be real, but I see where the doubt comes in. Mmmm, not my usual sort of ending, I must agree.
Yes, the more I think of the songg idea, the more it does appeal.
Thank you for saying so.
Good of you to say that. Thank you very much.
Thanks. Reeally well appreciated.
Well, when there's a tale to be told... thanks for the comments.
Thank you for the compliments. It's all imagination. The only back story is that I didn't have an idea and so decided I should just write and see what came.
Thank you for this. So glad you included the dancing with the reading.
Lovely remark. Many thanks.
Indeed, I can see the problem.
It's a great word! Doesn't need another. Thanks.
Disturbing and oh-so-sad, but incredibly beautiful.
I love this :)
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