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Tuesday 12 March 2013

Be Careful What You Click On!

You've clicked on nuts and new mown hay,
I'll take the cello and some good red clay.
But everybody's done it often: you have, so have I --
alighted on a website when only surfing by --
and it's asking in all innocence
for what might be your preference... on film types now... do you go for high suspense?
or are you more for comedy?
And on another matter,do you retain your Teddy?

It's just a bit of fun, saying if you like or hate 'em --
and then how high or low you rate 'em...
Would you prefer a dog or cat?
What harm is there in that?
But behind them lurks a profiler
with algorithms of a complex kind
who wants a profile for... er...
all sorts of people come to mind.
Traders without number who want to target you.
(You've given more away to them than you had wanted to.)
Authoritarian regimes, who see an odds-on bet,
have their own algorithms set
to winkle out your politics
and then apply their fix.

Is The Godfather a favourite? and also curly fries?
That tells them straight away -- I promise you, no lies --
that you are blessed with high intelligence!
Steam trains and fish though, here I dread to say
what that could tell about your sexual preference!
Big Momma's House and milk shakes... together these two lay
you open to a drugs charge. But perhaps you ride
a Harley-Davidson? If so, I can confide
you are in academic eyes the blue eyed one with brains.
Me? I've not got past the trains?


Mary said...

Ah, yes, and it seems the scammers and spammers are becoming more and more sneaky in their ploys. A person can't be too careful in deciding what the click on indeed.

Brian Miller said...

ah yes you have to be careful for sure...and once they hook you they are all over you...watch what you click most assuredly...

i will admit though i occassionally read the titles on my spam mail for the humor of it...smiles.

Unknown said...

This is so very true.. and funny at the same time. Interestingly, I get 20-30 spam comments on my site every day, all trying to sell me knock off luxury shoes! Never have clicked through, but wonder why they think I would desire copies of $600 shoes! :-)

Sarav said...

Dave, a very fun write about a dark subject. It is frightening how much" they" know. Enjoyed your" er" word play too:-)

anthonynorth said...

Ah, if I got as many real commenters as I do spammers, I'd be doing great. Loved your take.
By the way, your apocalyptic one yesterday steered me nicely to my MicroNovel tomorrow in response to this week's Theme Thursday prompt word.

Cloudia said...

What a clever enjoyable skewering of the web! Jolly


Claudia said...

hey...they don't have to ask the godfather question cause all men are crazy about that film...ha...smiles...yeah but true, they evaluate and build consumer profiles and all the little puzzle parts give them quite a good picture about the person behind.. dangerous

Tabor said...

My, you DO have a lot of time on your hands these days!

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

Great riotous lines, funny and provocative. A great comment on the internet jungle.

haricot said...

It is interesting and funny to read about these suggestive ideas with elaborate humour about virtual society utilizing a tool for virtual world.

Manicddaily said...

Agh! This is one reason I especially hate google - and gmail which I use for convenience! They say only machines read your mail but come'on!

And wasn't one of those machines named HAL?

Fun (but awful in the truth of it) poem. k.

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Elephant's Child said...

I saw that article - and shuddered. Just the same, if I don't know what my preferences/intelligence is, then the profilers will have their work cut out for them.
And judging by the spam I have been receiving they are as confused about me as I am.

Carl said...

There is a digital profile of each of us based on surfing and shopping habits. It is scary how much data is being collected on us. The war for privacy was fought and lost before most knew there was even a skirmish.

Ygraine said...

I hadn't really given it much thought as I was browsing, but now you come to mention it...I think they must have my entire personality somewhere on file!
Doesn't bear thinking about, does it?! Haha:D

Dave King said...

Mighty thanks to all for these replies. The poem was partly serious and partly tongue in cheek as you all divined. A serious bit of fun!