Before You First Had Sex

Before you first had sex

you'd have mused a great deal
on how it would be.
What it would be like?

Then after you'd had it
the question arose:
Is that how it is for us all?

Like the sex film at school.
Questions: "Sir, what's it like?"
"Sir, how does it feel?"

And all of a sudden
they all want to know,
there's a fervour of "Sir, what's it like?".

The condom's forgotten,
mechanics are binned
for the sake of how it might feel.

It's not what you think...
Well, partly it is,
but they're anxious as well,

the worry is etched on their brows.
And you feel such a fraud
with no answer to give,

so you ask of your partner:
"do you have a word that says what it's like?"
but find she's no answer to give.

So you keep on asking; she'll say:
"it was "good", it was not, "terrific"
"not out of this world."

But go on asking as long as you will,
you will never hear - and I'm guessing now -
any way in which it was "like".

Then at last it occurs,
the thought that no answer exists,
that maybe it just isn't like.

And soon you're reflecting
on whether you've had the real thing -
and how would you know?

And does it exist?
For if it exists, then surely to God,
it would have to be something quite like!