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Monday 18 July 2011

Two Haiku and a double Haiku

nine feet and climbing
the sunflowers are leaning
away from the wind

among all the cars
two boys bounce on pogo sticks -
drivers unhappy

dreaming in the night
a tray stacked with crockery
dropped by a waiter

whilst lying awake
my wife hears the sound of it
above the high wind


Rachel Green said...

All three are delightful but for me, the first has the clearest visual.

Thanks for writing them, Dave, that will stay with me all day!

Anonymous said...

a adore the dreaming waiter


Mary said...

What fun! I can just see those boys on pogo sticks... I used to have one.

David Cranmer said...

Sharp phrasing, Dave.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Pogo sticks and cars definitely do not go together Dave! That last double haiku is interesting too.

kaykuala said...

Haiku galore , nice and real. Sets the pace for thinking haiku.

Rose said...

Delightful double haiku! And I simply love the sunflower one.

Windsmoke. said...

Very vivid imagery in the first Haiku. I could just imagine these boys bouncing around on pogo sticks it would make a great comedy skit on tv very humourous. Smashing crockery would wake the dead :-).

Brian Miller said...

ha i can imagine why on the pogo sticks...nice blend through these...

Dave King said...

And thanks for that heart-gladdening comment.

hull of a city
I was intrigued, as I always am by carry over between sleep and wakefulness - however it happens.

It wasn't universally seen as fun, though!

Much thanks.

The Weaver of Grass
I'm with you on the first, glad about the second.

Yes, good point. You have to be ina haiku state of mind, I think. Thanks for the thought.

Really good to know. Thanks for saying.

Either comment could apply to either, of course - mutatis mutandis!

Thanks for that. Much appreciated.

Helen said...

I am putty in your hands when you present us with haiku ... ahhhhhh

Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall said...

love your Haiku, brilliant.

Chronicles of Illusions said...

I love the way this dances through the words. :)

Ricky Guanlao said...

Nice one!

Scarlet said...

i am just learning the haiku forms, and yours are really beautiful...

its nice to try different forms of writing ~