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Tuesday 29 November 2011

What if...

in a parallel existence
He'd made the man from a billycan
and the woman out of glass?
And if they were not perfect,
at least we must suppose
they were good enough to pass...
and they loved each other - 'course they did:
she loved the tin of his manly skin
and he her pert little arse.

And the Lord gave them a garden
of flowers, birds and trees
and told them to wander at will, enjoy -
and please to do as they pleased...
with the strictest of strictures each:
for she was told to remember her bum
and keep away from the mid-day sun.

It was thunderstorms for him to avoid
with his head high over the trees.
I've made you tall, the Almighty said.
Keep away from the lightning please.

But you know how it works:
she dozed in the sun
and her bottom focussed its rays,
and the garden went up in a mass of flames
that burnt for a thousand days.

Later on, when the man was walking tall -
fulfilling the ancient prophecy,
and winding up the fall -
he would get in the way of a thunder bolt,
that wouldn't kill him, but give him a jolt -
though he'd not be the same after that,
and it must have destroyed in his DNA
the genes that should point up the moral way,
for we all now share in his pain.

It's long been my thought that the fall
in the way that it happened on earth
had nothing to do with enlightenment -
whether gleaned from an apple or not -
but more to do with keeping the law
and Who the hell is running the show?
so I set it apart in this parallel world
to work itself out afresh,
and here you have it, for what it's worth,
like a Guy Fawkes night in Marrakesh.


ds said...

Brilliant. And I believe your theory is correct.

jack said...

I am a new here ,look forward to make more friends here ,thank you.

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Anonymous said...

I love the thought of being able to set fire to things by tanning my bum.

As I scrolled down this morning and spotted your post I thought - you must get up very early Dave.

haricot said...

Your question is huge and regarding to human beings, Dave.
Mine is personal and I ask myself from time to time "What if...?"

Brian Miller said...

ok you gave me a good chuckle with the fire lit off the bum...and struck by lightning...hmm...i like your theory...

Elizabeth Grimes said...

Lol! Thought provoking indeed. :)

Cait O'Connor said...

This was funny and as Elizabeth says it was thought-provoking too.

Rachna Chhabria said...

Brilliant, as usual Dave :)

The Weaver of Grass said...

There has never been a Guy Fawkes Night in Marrakesh when I have been there Dave - but brilliant as always.

Jingle Poetry At Olive Garden said...

what fun theory.

thoughtful writing.

Other Mary said...

I thought it was about pride, but I suppose your version explains why so many women are concerned about how their bums look...
Great one, and I think your choice of glass and tin is inspired!

Kass said...

I like the naughty side of you. This poem put a smile on my face.

Tumblewords: said...

Totally brilliant. The rhyme and rhythm are delightfully fine! I could hang here reading this same poem til the cows come home.

Rose said...

*chuckles* both humour and rhythm are fantastic - a fantastic write:D
Who the hell IS running the show?

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Excellent write. You have captured the prompt.


Windsmoke. said...

A most deadly weapon is a magnifying glass disguised as a bottom. Parallel world is a different place but with the same problems as this world :-).

Sheila said...

how very entertaining. esp liked this: more to do with keeping the law
and Who the hell is running the show?

I completely agree!

Gerry Snape said...

Oh Dave...the absolute best post I've read today. I love it especially as I had just such a conversation with my 15 year old grand daughter who had been doing such things in her mock GCSE exams today. Love it!

Mary said...

Indeed, I sometimes wonder as well who is running the show.

Intelliblog said...

Wonderful poem, Dave! Enjoyed its humour.

Dave King said...

Thanks for both.

Hi! Good to have you. Thanks for the visit, thanks for the comment.

No, not up that early. I scheduled it the night before.

What a delightful picture you do paint! Thanks for it.

Yup, I am a great What Iffer, too.

Thanks. Chuckles have a place, I've come to think.

Thank you for this. Much appreciated.

Good to know you thought so. Thanks.

Thank you. So kind.

The Weaver of Grass
I was hoping there was nothing like it in Marrakesh. Not when I've been there either - as there never was a Fall anywhere but on Earth (as far as I know), which was the point - or would have been had I not become so abstruse.

Gooseberry Garden
Thanks a lot.

Other Mary
Ah, I'd not considered pride. Good point, though. Thanks.

That is really good to hear. Thanks.

Thanks for a really encouraging comment. Glad you like it.

Thank you so much for the comment.

A warm welcome to you. My thanks to you for your comment. Good to have.

Really good to have your visit and comment. Thank you very much for your thoughts.

This is a great resonse. Thank you very much. hope the exams go well.

I think we all do at times. Thanks.

Nicholas V
Hi, Good to have your views. Thanks for coming and thanks for saying.

Tom said...

genius man- content, rhymes...pure enjoyment. I always like a good alternate history lesson

Jenny Woolf said...

Oh, I have fallen in love with your last 2 lines, "and here you have it, for what it's worth, like a Guy Fawkes night in Marrakesh"

not sure what it means but so memorable!

By the way the word verification captcha is "wingly" - an interesting word, don'tyou think? I wonder what it might suggest to you.

Jinksy said...

I loved your parallel world. :)