Joseph, Marie, Bryony, each of the unholy three, had slept, on separate occasions, with each of the remaining two - though not one of the three could know that this, in point of fact, was so. Each of their three rooms had grown to favour one and one alone. And so it was that Joseph's room to Bryony would sigh Marie, but then when Marie came to call the room said nothing much at all. ....................................................... When we were in the womb if we had asked (had there been someone there to ask) what is the meaning of this life? Would we have heard: to look beyond its shallowness, food comfort, warmth, security... A soul is made for love. Though sounds of love surround you, here is only loneliness and distant are the sounds. Beyond the breaking of the waters lies a journey, trauma, to a world that could not be more different than the one you've grown to know. ................................................... You do not realise when you're small how everything you do and say, how everything the VIPs around you do, how every happening of consequence goes to build an ark for you - for which you will be grateful some late day when being adult falls like rain to flood the earth, the whole terrain of what you thought you'd got to know.
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Thursday, 1 March 2012
fragments
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11 comments:
'A soul is made for love'. That is a wonderful line, as are the following stanzas.
I need to think more about the final section. It is shifting in my head like rain, like droplets on the window, like roaring tidal waters.
Of the three fragment the first is the one that I keep coming back to. It’s an uncomfortable little piece. In the second piece I like that you reduce life in the womb to four words: “food comfort, warmth, security” and, of course, it is an underwater world albeit a shallow one. As for the third one, unusually for me I find the long single sentence a bit awkward. I’m usually one to champion the longer sentence but I struggled to read this. Not sure what I’d do to fix it if indeed it’s the poem that needs fixing and not me.
i def think there is a lot of hollow love out there man...and life was much more innocent back in hte day...when things did not matter but yes now everything matters and affects our life and the lives around us
I can look back my past calmly reading your words. It is sublimed feeling. Maybe getting old I'm going to turn to be a child. It's good.
All three are 'gems' in their own way. My favorite is #2: Thinking how different the unsafe world is compared to the warmth and safety of the womb.
I'm drawn to the second one and I'd love to articulate my impressions, but a migraine is impeding any cohesive thought. I will only say that it is beautiful and "beyond the breaking of the waters lies
a journey ..."
sings to me.
Kat
The final lines bring a moving power to a great poem:
"when being adult falls like rain
to flood the earth..."
is superb
Does anybody really know the true meaning of life?, i doubt it they'd only be guessing :-).
That second piece is really lovely!
meaningful in the deepest possible way-
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
>< } } ( ° >
The Elephant's Child
Thanks for the comment, but I do believe your paragraph is even better!
Jim
It pleases me that you focussed more on the first. I had thought this one might be a bit contentious.
Basically these were three fragments that I've had for sometime in my scribble pad. They were originally going to be parts of longer poems, but I decided they were going nowhere, so I thought I would post them to see what reaction they might get.
Brian
I can sure go along with that thinking.
haricot
It is the master plan of all master plans - if you can pull it off.
Mary
Yes, it's something I keep coming back to in my thoughts. Thanks for this.
Ash
Thank you for saying so.
Kat
Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. I do hope it proved not to be a bad one. Blessings.
Tommaso
Thanks. I have to admit that I was reasonably pleased with that.
Mama Zen
Thank you. This is pleasing to hear.
Cloudia
Thanks as always. Good to hear from you.
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