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Thursday 4 October 2012

My Computer Is My New Teddy Bear

My computer has become my Teddy Bear.
I hadn't noticed just how much I'd missed him - 
all those years without him... withdrawal symptoms
all the way - and all ascribed to something not poor Ted,
to something other than the little bear who gave me joy.
What a waste of earthly bliss! What a damned fine mess this is!
And then the lap top came - a great buzz in my life -
and willingly became his substitute...
It aint the same, it aint the same at all,it aint!
I cannot punch it when I'm mad - 
or cry all over it when lonely or afraid.
(The crying bit is much too dangerous.) 
I cannot bash the bloody brains of it 
when the world around me puts me in my rightful place.

And often now I find the lap top is the one,
the guilty one that's driving me insane.
(Now that is something Teddy - bless his heart - 
has never ever thought to do to me!)
Now understand me when I blame the lap top for my woes:
I'm not just talking lap top, but I'm talking lap top plus!
I'm talking more than lap top - all its devilish extensions,
the gadgets and the passwords - with security the biggest 
thing by miles - all those endless numbers, all unique to me, 
and that is just for starters. The main course is not yet.

And yet I love my lap top (am willing to forgive 
the CAPS key,even - something dear old Teddy never had!)But
there is hate in this relationship that doesn't come from me. 
It's the lap top that at times cannot stand me. 
It will show the world who's boss -
say, when I've moved the mouse a tad too slow
or lingered with my finger on a key
or I've wandered over links I really didn't know
were there. So, because of some small cock-up down to me,
screens I haven't summoned gallop past my eyes
and like genies from an ancient lamp, they flow
in never ending cavalcades of hate
with messages that threaten. 
And in their lexicons of gibberish,
ERROR is the only word I know.

Then when I get to Blogger, they have changed it all again
and so I'm lost in a new, endless, alien terrain.
And most of this is down to my new Teddy Bear!
It's the lap top's way of saying I'm upset
or Get your finger out, you silly kid, and move us on!

Of course, I get frustrated, and would like to bite its ear -
the way I would have done with Real Ted yesteryear.
but it's really such a dear, I just stroke its virtual back
and whisper all the nasty names I know.
Love/ Hate relationships are the theme for this week's prompt at Poetry Jam


Anonymous said...

This is very funny, Dave, and something people relate to very easily. I am on iPad right now-- even more frustrating, I think. My blankie. K.

Mary said...

I enjoyed this, Dave. Indeed a laptop could be compared to a teddy bear...something one would now be lost without. Loved this comparison!!

I agree with you about Blogger. I kept the old form until they jerked it away from me just a week or so ago. A pain to keep up with these changes. One thing that the teddy bear did was remain constant (and comforting in its constancy)....not so things related to the computer!

Brian Miller said...

haha i feel you in this dave....i hate computer issues and when i cant get it to do what i want...but i miss it too when i dont have it....i wish they would stop messing with things as well....headaches...

haricot said...

There is Waka(traditional Japanese tanka) that says " If there were not cherry blossoms I could relax and enjoy this spring time as I like...". Your lines just remind me of this Waka.

Tabor said...

You do realize these are both inanimate objects, don't you?

kaykuala said...

Yes, the computer is a nuisance in necessity. One feels bothered but yet craves for it. Rightly said Dave!


hyperCRYPTICal said...

Oh how I do so love my comp - much more than I ever did my Teddy I am certain, and those days, those awful days the remote computer does not want to know me and cuts me off - then it is like the death of a friend.

I should have stuck to my teddy...

Anna :o]

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

very true...and who would have imagined only fifteeen, twenty years ago that computers could rise to such a level of importance for many of us...as if mankind needed further addictions...I think we couldn't simply live without the annoying "teddybearness" of a screen in front now.

Linda said...

Very enjoyable and well written, Dave. I just got a laptop less than two months ago....after having had a desktop for years. I am still getting used to the laptop and enjoying it. I cannot judge too much about Blogger, because I have only had my blog since February, if I recall accurately. As with all technology, though, there are definitely glitches, this is for certain. I find that blogging is therapeutic...perhaps this sounds strange, but going out for walks and taking photos, then sharing them with others on my blog brings me joy. As well, I have begun doing research on my family tree and have found the internet to be a great help.
Thanks so much for sharing your posts, you got me talking quite a bit today, which is something I don't do a lot of. :)

Elephant's Child said...

Loud applause. And regret - sadly you are right.

Panchali said...

Oh, it is easy to relate to this piece...I echo your sentiments! Wonderful....

Dave King said...


Regretfully I have again to request the pardon of you all for not replying individually. It is just proving to be one of those days!

It has been interesting to discover how much agreement my theme elicited - although this morning it has definitely been a case of my computer becoming frustrated with me!

Dave King said...


A warm welcome to you. Good to have you visiting.

Ygraine said...

I fear it has finally begun - machines are taking over the human brain! Hehehe :D

Wonderfully amusing post Dave.
Love it.

Terminally Ill said...

This was siiiiiiick. You should check out the song "Box of Wine" by my band Terminally Ill on my blog about them. You will love it I swear!