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Sunday 26 September 2010

The Wolf on Red Riding Hood - and Her Gran : Plus Haiku #271 (As overheard on the Poetry Bus)

Ably driven this week by Rachel Fox to whom much thanks.

It definitely was the red,
I know what did it. Girls in red?
I've no defence, I'm finished. Done.
(My mum would tell me to "watch out
for girls dressed all in red - they're out
for only one thing, them." Thanks mum,
I'd think, I'll sure remember that!)
And then there were her kinky boots...
(Not mum's, of course. Red Riding Hood's.)
They're guaranteed to work me up,
no sweat. So all in all, she looked
the sort who'd heat up for a bloke
who'd put the frighteners on her.
(Just a touch, that is. Nothing too --
what shall I say? - extreme. Know what
I mean?) So there's me faking it,
like reality's gone out of
fashion while our backs were turned,
not telling her, not letting on --
first this, then that, about her gran.
Warming her up nicely, thanks, and
wondering if I should tell her --
if that would be to shoot one line
too many -- what a goer her
old Gran turned out to be, and how...
when in roars this mad hatchet man
like, well, he's just cleared out Hell's crypt...
So then, I'm out of there, and tout
de suit
an' all! And very sweet
it could have been. Still, must stay a
touch positive. Some new chat-
lines came from it: like those big eyes,
big ears and stuff. They should all prove
more grist to my voracious mill.
Roll on the next dame dressed in red!

They're on the war path.
Spanish Grandparents might strike --
and bring Spain to a stop.


David Cranmer said...

"Roll on the next dame dressed in red!"

Perfect ending to top prose.

Jim Murdoch said...

A nice approach. I especially like his comment about the new chat up lines.

Dave King said...

Well, one can but hope!

Thanks Jim.

Anonymous said...

I love all these new takes on the Red Riding Hood Story - they make the original seem banal!

Dave King said...


Hi, welcome to the blog and many thanks for stopping by to comment - useful feedback.

martine said...

Excellent poem, loved the point of view, I could really see the wolf in the corner of some seedy bar telling his version of events to some random stranger.
thanks for sharing

Rachel Fox said...

It feels very different to poems of yours I've read on here before, Dave. Is this your wild side? I kind of like it!

Jinksy said...

Oh, I loved this lady in red tale! And I had to laugh, as there was me blogging about red long johns under my wedding dress, earlier this week! LOL :)

Dave King said...

Thanks for that, greatly appreciate the comment. And a very warm welcome to my blog.

Interesting comment, thanks for it. The wolf in me, you think? I have a somewhat wilder one in preparation...

Oh, super! Are you auditioning for the role of Red Riding Hood's Gran, by any chance?

Karen said...

Love the voice of this lascivious old goer! Great lines, Dave.

Helen said...

Ladies in red! ... got to love them. AND your poem!

Unknown said...

"What intresting words you use , all the better to board the bus with, my dear."

Gerry Snape said...

Good old wolf and good little red, hope she flummoxed the wolfie as she always does! oh and if grandparents strike.. the world will stop turning they say!!

Peter Goulding said...

Good on ya, Dave. I like your campaign. Please take a hatchet to Chris de Burgh's Lady in Red next!

Titus said...

Great take on much-told-tale Dave, and you absolutely sold the wolf to me - like the devil, he got some very good lines here.

Echoing Rachel, I like it when you step off the path sometimes.

Dave King said...

Love everything about a lascivious old goer! Thanks.

Absolutely, you have to love them!

Now, why didn't I think of that? Well said, in deed.

Agreed - I just hope they don't get eaten!

Ah, now you're talking my kind of language!

Thanks for those comments - I just hope you don't live to regret encouraging me! Thanks, though.

Domestic Oub said...

Loads of fun :)

Dave King said...

Domestic Oub
Welcome to the blog and my thanks for stopping to comment.

Dianne said...

almost a coquettish pup, himself, that wolf!

Dave King said...

I like your description. Very apt.

joaquin carvel said...

fantastic! love the voice you've given the wolf - still sly but much more fun. and "Thanks mum,
I'd think, I'll sure remember that!" is perfect!

Dave King said...

A warm welcome to the blog and thanks for commenting.

Argent said...

Haha! Love it! Bout time the wolf put his point of view. Nicely, urbane!

Dave King said...

Thanks for that Argent