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Sunday 9 September 2012

Mostly Haiku

Yesterday we drove to Verwood near Bournemouth to visit our son and daughter-in-law for their autumn family B.B.Q.. The journey would normally take about 75 minutes, but yesterday, with everyone heading for the Beaches, The New Forest and the West Country beyond, it took nearly three hours. I recorded the event thus:
Cars backed up for miles
but suddenly the road clears -
who gave the order?

Traffic news breaks in
interrupting the music -
poor news for someone.

On the car ahead
written in the dust SHIT YOU!
and through the rear screen
a small boy pokes out his tongue -
nothing else to see for miles.

Cerulean blue
with white chalk playground scribble
a Gordian knot -
the sky's wild loops and hatchings
fading slightly as we look.

Journey's end at last:

Sun and clear blue sky
smoke rises from the barby
triggering low cloud.

No problems driving home

Sun warms the far hills
picking out each bush and tree -
headlights here a must.

I am submitting this post in answer to Mary's Poetics prompt Autumn at dVerse Poets.


Elephant's Child said...

Thank you for taking us on this firstly frustrating and ultimately very satisfying trip.
Small boys making faces from the rear window are a memory I think that most of us have. Nearly as ubiquitous as traffic snarls.

Mary said...

Wow, Dave, definitely sounds like a tough drive...but glad the destination was worth it, plus it inspired some fine autumn poetry as well.

kaykuala said...

Reminiscent of snarls we have during our festive seasons. I would travel at least 2 days before and after to avoid the jams. Otherwise a 3-hour drive would stretch 6 or 8 hours depending on your luck! It's the same the world over! Nicely shared Dave!


David Cranmer said...

A well-told story created from misery.

Brian Miller said...

ha the interaction with the boys in front and what was written on the car is my fav part...its the quirkiness of life...esp having to look at it for miles....ugh 3 hours, wow...everyone trying to get their last dose of summer before the fall...

S and J said...

'the sky's wild loops and hatchings
fading slightly as we look.'
Lovely lines

Cressida de Nova said...

It was nice driving with you:)
I am coming along next time as well.. Enjoyed!

Anonymous said...

So charming. I am laughing out loud at your vision for miles! What does one do? Sounds like you very much made the best of it, and squeezed even lyricism. Thanks much. (I'm still smiling - though glad not to have been in the car!)

Scarlet said...

I hate those long drives...ha..ha..these children do know how to make it fun though ~ Enjoyed this Dave ~

Daydreamertoo said...

No fun driving in all that traffic especially looking at that on the back of the car in front of you.
Glad you enjoyed the BBQ with your family and the rive home wasn't as bad.

Ygraine said...

Such a wonderfully evocative depiction of your journey!
I felt I was there experiencing it with you all the way.
So glad the trip home was easier!!

Unspoken said...

I wish I had a photo of every child who has stuck out his or her tongue on a long drive I have taken. What is that about?

The thing about writers is our minds take the most normal moments and record as a story while anything is unfolding. You have a made the day a rhythm of meter and flow and the barby smoke into "low cloud." This is why I love reading!

Anonymous said...

Really lie that final stanza- the sun still shining, picking out trees and bushes, but headlights still needed....a setting Autumn sun...just conjured some great images for me

Sabio Lantz said...

Nice transformation of a traffic jam -- "a Gordian knot"?

Jeremy said...

I really enjoyed this. Not only could I "see it," I also could feel the textures of what you are describing. Thank you for sharing this.

jane hewey said...

this is very engaging poem, Dave. I love how you weave the sky into your lines. So happy to find your blog here.

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

I really enjoyed them, the first marks a feeling I regularly have had on the road.

Beachanny said...

See, I live in the halcyon belief that Britain doesn't know our traffic jams (I saw it all from trains! what a way to go!)But here you give us a similar experience to our own in the US. I never went into Bournemouth, but I knew a woman from there. She was like fresh sea air herself. Even with your exasperation, the beauty of England shines through as a beacon for me. It will always be my heart's true home.

Jennifer Wagner said...

"Cerulean blue
with white chalk playground"

...I like that description of the sky.

And "Sun warms the far hills" is a lovely image...really like that.

ds said...

I'm sorry, the third one made me laugh out loud. What is it about small boys in the back of cars? Hope you had a wonderful time. Thank you.

Carl said...

A story by connected Haiku... I love it.

Dick said...

I know of your pain, Dave! A vivid evocation of similar journeys made within the same all-too-frequently congested territory.

Dave King said...

What a delightful collection of replies. I do thank you all, most deeply, for them. They are too many to do justice to by way of individual replies, so please excuse me once more for this joint response.

I did get much pleasure - and more than a few grins - from your kind words. The day was, in fact, very enjoyable, the journey down rather a tease, but a day not to be missed for all that.

I am still laughing inwardly at the thought of having "a photo of every child who has stuck out his tongue"! What a rogues gallery that would be!

I must give a special welcome to my new (or some time) visitors. Good to see your comments:
Poet Laundry, jane, jeremy, Sabio, poems of hate and hope, She Writes, Cressida de Nove and S & J. Thank you all.

jabblog said...

We had a similar journey in the opposite direction for the same purpose - it was lovely when we got there and a beautiful sunset on the way home.

Dave King said...

The best part of the day was the people, of course: the BBQ.

A Cuban In London said...

Great haikus and so fun, too. It brings a whole new meaning to "traffic jam". :-)

Greetings from London.

Anonymous said...

Well written!