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Sunday 10 February 2013

Cloud Poem #1

                          The water colourist will know
                       within himself
                           the moment that the work is finished
                                                      and yet
                                                 and yet
 Letting go                                  and yet
is hard to do                  he goes back time and time again
                                to add a bit
                             fine tune a bit
  The parents know                           or thicken up 
  the time has come                               an arabesque
the child a child no more             until the sparkle's gone 
They must let go                             the form is lost.

       Letting go is good to do! 

           let go!      De-      cluttering       the house...
                          so much stuff we do not want
                                         will never use
                                 why can we never let it go?

        stunt man                                Opportunities
         for the films                  so rarely come our way
           friend of mine                    we must not 
 driving his (special) Austen Healey               let THEM go!
              spun it on a patch of ice.
                To let the car correct itself
          he took his hands from the steering wheel.
The car, like a well-trained working dog
   rewarded him for trusting it.                Letting go --
                                And yet           both vice
                         And yet               and virtue.
                  And yet
               he did not wholly let go of the reins --
              his feet were busy all the while --
         doing what, I never fully understood.

The subject was suggested by Claudia for Poetics at dVerse Poets This form is something I have just begun to toy with. As you see, I have called it a cloud poem. You find your own way through it. There is o right way or wrong way. Unfortunately it does not lend itself very well to blogging, preferring the landscape format, but I thought it might be fun to try. (I' sure someone will tell me it's been done - it always has been in the world of art.)


kelvin s.m. said...

...sir i really like the experimental vibe you produced here... it does not only shows freedom but also it reflects creativity & uniqueness... in which i whole heartedly admire as i myself wanted to be different & original in whatever way / form i take... be it in sonnet / haiku / etc... we must give our own touch that is only you and incomparable... and yes even if we let go of something still you can't totally stop your self from getting back to it for somehow it bacame already part of your current disposition... without those that we left from behind the possibility of facing where are we now is totally nothing... so many images & examples goes here and i really enjoyed 'em... great write as always... smiles...

Brian Miller said...

absolutely gorgeous form...and i love that you let us find our own way through it and not tell us how to read this...as it symbolizes the very thing you are writing about...creative and spot on sir...ah the tweaking of art too...i am always afraid that last tweek will spin it over the edge you know...smiles...

Manicddaily said...

Terrific form that works perfectly for this.

One typo? I think at the beginning you mean when the watercolor "is" finished, not "if" finished. I'm not sure as "if" may work here too, but wasn't my sense of it and I make typos with if and is all the time, myself. (Sorry, if I'm wrong.)

Back to poem - you handle this form masterfully and the clutter on the page is illuminating in many senses -- since it feels as if you are giving us every angle on the concept, all valuable -- and yet you manage to tell each little tale also--it just works terrifically well. I especially love the last tale with the car, although I can relate very well to the watercolorist. That is my favorite medium (other than my iPad) and I always have to have a big tube of Chinese White, something opaque to try to cover up the places my brush just got to busy.

Thanks. k.

Claudia said...

wow dave...this is very cool...love how both, the text and also the form underline the letting go message so perfectly as like bri says you let us find our own way through it...more than one possible..love esp. the part with carl the stunt man who released his hands off the steering wheel, allowing the car to correct itself...what a a cool image for this

christopher said...

Excellent...form and words alike.

Great power in letting go...and great difficulty in sometimes doing so.

Scarlet said...

I love the words flowing across the page and down, tentatively as if unsure ~ And I am always editing my work, never sure to finally let go ~

And driving thru ice, we must let the car slide on its own, before we correct it. But I am still learning this too ~

Fine work Dave ~

Mary said...

I do love the cloud format you used for this, Dave. In each cloud there was a different perspective on letting go. Ha - de-cluttering: I hear you on that. There is just so much....but maybe someday....

Laurie Kolp said...

I think the cloud form works well for your examples of letting go, Dave.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Interesting. That watercolour analogy Dave - my first husband was a watercolourist and he was not at all like that - he would stop and say he would add no more "less is more" was his motto.
I wonder whether this can also apply to your next verse about letting the child go.

Sabio Lantz said...

Nice play and letting go of form(s)!
Indeed: "Letting Go" and "Clinging" can both be virtues.
and they can both be vices.
Nicely performed -- good leg work.

Ygraine said...

I think this cloud form was the perfect medium for your letting go poem!
Just as a cloud finally disperses with temperature change so, too, can we just "let go" of things and attitudes that are clouding and weighing down our lives' with a simple mental shift.

A very fine piece of work, Dave :)

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I love the unique style here. Letting go...one of the hardest, but most necessary, things that any of us will ever do.

Tommaso Gervasutti said...

An arabesque of a poem, I have enjoyed its winding way.

Dick said...

Stick with the form, Dave. This works most impressively. The sense of floated information that can be read in various associations presents all sorts of possibilities, both semantic and visual.

Kass said...

This reminds me of a "cleave" poem and I like it very much.

Difficult to do.

You succeeded.

haricot said...

Before I read a poem which had a shape of bird and another was of fountain, and the poems were called as symbolism, if I remember correctly. Yours seems to be closer surrealism rather than symbolism, because your lines remind me of some hesitation and complexity directly...

Dave King said...

Much thanks for this. Yes, we are all different, and the artist, even more than most, must hold on to that differnce -- and not let it go. And it is also true that the past is always part of us, and we can never entirely shake it off.

I'm afraid I was often guilty of a tweak too far in my painting days. Maybe writing poetry I don't tweak enough... difficult to get it just right! Thanks for the response.

Interesting, your remark about the clutter on the page. I had certainly worried a bit that the page was too crowded, the result, really, of the 'portrait' format of the Blogger page. I would very much have liked to expand the poen sideways more. But maybe this is a case of somethinf positive coming out of necessity.

I envy you your iPad. I really must try to justify the purchase of one.

Thanks as always.

Thanks for these reflections on the poem, and especially on its form. Very encouraging. Always good to have your thoughts.

Good to have you visiting and to have your take on the poem. It is true, as you say, there is great power in letting go - and it can beso difficult to do so.

Two very pertinent and helpful obsevations. Thank you for them.

I must own up to having felt a bit of a hypocrite writing the decluttering bit! But as you so rightly say: maybe one day...

Thank you so much for saying so. It really does mean a lot.

The Weaver of Grass
Your first husband was entirely right. In this instance less definitely is more. He was also either very brave or very disciplined - or both - because it can be a devilish hard thing to do when you can see something else that just might improve the work.

Thanks Sabio. Yes, like so much in life: virtues easily slide into vices and vice versa.

Oh, I do like your simile of the cloud dispersing with temperature. I must admit I had not thought that far. Thank you again for your kind thoughts.

Optimistic Existentialist
Ah, there you have the nub of it. It is exactly that. Thanks .

Love the phrase: an arabesque of a poem. Very flattering. Thank you.

Much thanks to you for saying this. Very encouraging. I am working on another and would certainly like to experiment with it to see what it will do. Your remark about information being read in various associations definitely picks up one aspect I would like to play with. I am really very grateful to you for this comment.

You have me stumped, I'm afraid. Don't know what a "cleave" poem is. Google, here I come! -- and thanks for the comment.

I suppose a feeling of surrealism could also be given by the close association of different thought "clouds". Interesting comment. Thank you.

ds said...

Brilliant form, sir. It works in every direction,and as others have said, is perfect for the ideas you wanted to convey. Thank you for the lesson(s).