Dark hair a ball of wool
loosely wound
even with a slight unravelling
its waves hang on
tenaciously
to what might be
a coracle, a
small black pill box hat,
tipped, not jauntily --
let's say
precariously --
behind the head.
Framed by the waves
the shocked complexion
is more felt than seen.
Her mourning
is a work in progress still.
The eyes stare straight ahead.
Only the mouth speaks clearly of
uncomprehending pain.
All else about her
seems too spare.
Written for the prompt by Kelvin S. M. Artistic Description at dVerse Poets Pub
Unable to post tomorrow due to forces almost beyond my control(!), so hope to meet up with you all again come Tuesday.
26 comments:
Oh dear...when jauntily turns into precarious...all hope is lost :-)
Such a brilliant summing up of a disturbed soul.
Image and words enhance each other to a very high level.
Captured brilliantly - i especially like -
Framed by the waves
the shocked complexion
Well written with a forlorn essence
overwhelming and sad.
the thought of the mourning being a work in progress...as if a project...is interesting...i see as you though...i can feel her in looking at her...well described sir...
her mourning a work in progress...i love this..think nowadays many of us have lost the ability to really mourn but it's so important..love how you describe her..
Brilliantly depicted.
...her mourning is a work in progress... perfect sir... i really like that line ... letting go / moving on / recovery --- all quite too long to fulfill & will def take some time or even forever to fully achieve... too hard to be in a disposition wherein you have to say goodbye to someone who has left you a lot to remember... i like the description you make about her hair... absolutely a great read & share... smiles...
i like how you took this a step farther... hiding grief is such a common thing
i like how you took this a step farther... hiding grief is such a common thing
You have absolutely risen to the prompt here, though poem stands well on it's own. K.
I love this line: Her mourning
is a work in progress still ~ Perfect Dave ~
Only the mouth speaks clearly of
uncomprehending pain.
Just brilliant Dave. I felt I know this person.
Dave, you have really looked closely at this widow. I like the description of the hair has a dark ball of wool. And yes, one definitely can see the pain in her mouth!
(See you on Tuesday~)
You've captured the agony of widowhood so eloquently that it almost breaks my heart.
I can FEEL this poor woman's pain, hear her unspoken hopelessness.
I can only hope she isn't a future me!!
A deeply moving and memorable write, Dave. :)
This one was powerful and sad...but the sadness made it even more powerful.
I loved the last lines: "Her mourning
is a work in progress still.
The eyes stare straight ahead.
Only the mouth speaks clearly of
uncomprehending pain.
All else about her
seems too spare."
It feels almost as if she didn't want to be a widow, didn't ask to be one. Many thanks.
Greetings from London.
Splendid portrait.
The coracle image, unforgettable.
nice verse Dave. Really like the tending to the emotions in your response, nice interpretation. Thanks
These expression of mourning are reverse of her love for her husband, and in this
sense her emotion is very beautiful.
Her mourning
is a work in progress still.
The eyes stare straight ahead
That's how we see it when people are sad. They're emotional and there's no immediate finality! Nicely Dave!
Hank
coracle resting on the beach of her head. . . . the waves of hair....says much without 'saying' it. Nicely
ALOHA from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° > <3
'uncomprehending pain' is the phrase which best sums up unexpected grief to me. Thanks Dave, your summation of the ugliness of grief and particularly new grief is truly effective and therefore beautiful.
"Her mourning
is a work in progress still"
Those lines will live with me for a very long time - and hopefully they will enrich my work in the future.
"Her mourning
is a work in progress still"
Well captured words that echo the haunting image Dave.
Anna :o]
aprille
Thank you. Wonderful, wonderful remark re jaunty!
Mantez
Thank you so much. Greatly appreciate this.
S and J
Good to know you thought this. Thanks.
Brian
As always, thanks for a most helpful comment.
Claudia
I think you so right about our ability to mourn - and the necessity for it.
anthonynorth
Thank you.
Kelvin
Thank you. Your comment makes a lot of sense to. There is much perception in it, I think, as there was in your art work which I found inspirational.
Wolfsrosebud
True. At times it seems it's THE thing to do!
Manicddaily
Sincere thanks for both observations!
Heaven
Thank you. Especially good to know how readers felt about those lines.
Carl
As always, most helpful. Thank you.
Mary
Thank you Mary. These words very much appeciated. Indeed, will try to be there Tuesday!
Ygraine
I am dead certain that she's not a future you! Much thanks for the gracious response.
Optimistic Existentialist
Thank you. Useful to know that you felt this.
A Cuban in London
I felt a real empathy for the woman in the picture. Your comments, as always, are most valuable.
Tommaso
Very reassuring to hear this! Thanks.
Fred
Thanks a lot for this, Fred. Appreciated.
haricot
Yes indeed. Well put.
Hank
This puts it exactly, I think.
Cloudia
Thank you for saying so.
The Elephant's Child
Exactly the sort of thing it is useful to hear. Thank you.
rumoursofrhyme
Thank you for such a generous comment.
hyperCRYPTICal
Thank you so much.
Perfect prompt and perfect poem.
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