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Thursday 18 August 2011

Two Poems

live2write2day's suggestion for this week was that we should write a "contrast" poem, expressing a sharp contrast in its content. Not easy, I thought, but here gores:~

The pool like silk
until the wind came,
ruffling the surface,
adding hooks to knife-
edged waves -
like shaken milk.
And leap of fish
and bubbles tore
the fragile silk apart,
'till all was cream again.

Cedars with their hands outstretched
black and weighted
spreading horizontal darkness,
echoing the nimbus clouds.

Bright shafts of sunlight
pierce the clouds,
and dancing motes
now commandeer the lawn.

Backdrop to the trees,
Belly Hill absorbs then all
into its darkness.

Light-hearted, silver-
white, the birches float
above the lying mist.


kaykuala said...

Nicely done, Dave. Certainly lots of contrasts here.

Jinksy said...

Light-hearted, silver-
white, the birches float
above the lying mist.

Love this picture...

Brian Miller said...

nice done dave...i think i like the second one best...might just be my nature...smiles.

Victoria said...

Oh, these are so exquisite and perfect examples of contrast. Even the ones that are not haiku have the haiku-like quality of being completely absorbed in the moment of time with eyes wide open. I'm so glad you share these, Dave. Thank you.

Victoria said...

Is there a way to get e-mail notifications of your posts?

JeannetteLS said...

AH, now I know I am back in my blogosphere world... Readying your entry. I think the second is my favorite too, but mostly because I am a tree-noticer, so it resonates visually more with me. "black and weighted spreading horizontal darkness" is wonderful to speak. That second selection, to me, screams to be read aloud.

It is good to be home again!

Mary said...

I did enjoy both of them, but as a few others, the second was my favorite.

The Weaver of Grass said...

I think you have achieved the contrast very well Dave. They present two very different moods in the weather and in the emotions.

David Cranmer said...

I dig the contrasts as well. Excellente, sir.

Windsmoke. said...

The first one gets my vote very vivid imagery :-).

Hilary said...

Very lovely. Cedars are among my favourite trees.

Dave King said...

Thanks as ever.

Glad you liked it. Much appreciated.

Good to know. Much thanks.

Mnay thanks for such a generous response.
I will look at the email noification question. Thanks for raising it.

Really good to have you back, and good to have such a piece of feedback. Thanks for the comments RE reading aloud. I do take your point. Such a helpful response. Thanks again.

Thanks for that Mary. Valuable comment.

The Weaver of Grass
Made easier perhaps by the weather's changing moods just recently! Much thanks.

Appreciate you saying.

Always good to hear such thoughts. Thank you for it.

Yes, I have a great fondness for them too.