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Saturday 29 December 2012

Why the Revolution Failed - or the dubstep goat challenge

My tale is one not widely known
of Citizen Smith* in battledress
performing for the overthrow
of known society -- Oh yes!

Installed upon the glass roof of
the public lavatories for men
(strategically placed, please note
on Tooting Broadway's thoroughfare)
with traffic surging all around,
and clad in khaki battledress,
loudly there he did proclaim
the day of revolution come! Oh, yes!

Alas, he'd gone a step too far -- Oh,
no, my friends, not the glass roof...!
but requisitioning that new phenomenon, 
the dubstep goat, promoting it to
brigadier and making it the mascot of 
his rag-tag, hip hop, bob-tail gang.

The poets -- 2-step garage; UKG; 
and jungle, loaded up with bass --
and artists of all kinds, performance
and the rest from Tooting's Steppe 
lands -- Broadway to the likes of us --
as as far as Figges Marsh** and beyond,
gathered in a protest march calling to
the dubstep goat by name and using certain 
words they knew he'd understand, asking him 
to dance. And dance he did (for long 
ago the goat had joined the hip hops
and aligned himself with them) beginning
with Rose Madder's Studio for dance --
where it was found that having four 
good legs he could pull off a solo
pas de deux. The fashion spread
and he was in such great demand, he
added to his repertoire: duos for jig, 
for jog, a new drummed dubstep, hip hop, 
hot spot, pot belly roast and more... Oh yes!!

Boast as he might -- and boast he did --
our mighty Citizen, the revolutionary Smith,
was quite unable to control his so-called
mascot. Every roll of military drum just
made him dance more off the mark. He had
become a filament, free of the bulb
that once had hemmed him in. He burned, 
he sizzled, flared, contorted, turned;
he flipped and flopped. he leaped and dropped,
crouched on the floor, flew through the air
and all who saw him thought him taught
by D.J. Hatcha or Fred Astaire.***

Without the dubstep goat, Smith knew
the Revolution doomed. Nor could he use
a goat with such poor discipline. He called
his council to their final meet -- his H.Q.
located in the box room of his mother's neat
and tidy semi- with views across the Lido.
and there he deemed the enterprise defunct.
* here
** here
*** D J Hatcha here
Written for The dubstep goat challenge at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads.


The Weaver of Grass said...

Gosh Dave that brought back memories - I used to love Citizen Smith!

Janine Bollée said...

Me too. Wish they'd recycle him.
Such hilarious fun, this take on the goat.

Brian Miller said...

hahaha sounds like the goat was more trouble than he was worth, failed all for the want of an obedient goat...just doesnt seem right...ha.

Mary said...

Ha, I just don't seem to be able to get into goats. Smiles.

Anonymous said...

The Dubstep Goat

great lines

"...where it was found that having four
good legs he could pull off a solo
pas de deux."

"He had
become a filament, free of the bulb
that once had hemmed him in."

the revolution ends with the freedom of a goat.


Helen said...

I'm glad I took a few minutes to read my favorite writers this morning .... my house full of visiting children with all of the accompanying mayhem / fun / love!!

David Cranmer said...

Sharp title, Dave. And, of course, great fun of a story here.

Gerry Snape said...

i just love the thought of Rose Madder having a studio!!!...great poem.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kerry O'Connor said...

Wow, Dick, this is epic! You have created characters all you own, moving to a dubstep beat. Well done.

Lolamouse said...

I had to look up Citizen Smith, but this was hilarious! I love the image of the filament burning free of the bulb!

Elephant's Child said...

It is the pas de deux (times two) which has me smiling loudest here. Thanks Dave.

Anonymous said...

Yes - the pas de deux line is hard to beat and all the imagery very zany and particular in a way that makes it especially funny. Like following a thread through a maze laughing all the way. Very clever, Dave. Thanks. k.

Dave King said...

Hi All
I must have been hung-over, for I hadn't realised that I'd left no response here at all. My apologies all round, and my thanks, as usual, for your kind remarks.