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Sunday 23 May 2010

Between Two Worlds

A visit to The Chocolate Chip Waffle convinced me that I had to try to catch the current Poetry Bus. The prompt, an image (for which, click on link above), was so arresting that I could not resist. Initially, I thought I could not fail, the picture seemed so inspiring. As indeed it was, though no less challenging. If you do not know The Chocolate Chip Waffle, you should put that right as soon as possible. Meanwhile, for what it is worth, here is my effort.

We all are earth
and fire and water.

She is not.
Part fairy and part flower

in her
the magical is everyday.

Calyx of light
too bright to look upon

wings of light,
light veiled in light.

So much beauty is invisible.

More light than her slight
form can hold

she's folded in to it -
and it will out.

On winds self-generated
coronal seeds

stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground...

fecundity -

such force!
such power!

by such
she is transfigured

and by such
we are blinded.



David Cranmer said...

Marvelous lines.

Best: "stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground..."

Unknown said...

Simple, very powerful phrases, Dave, and I haven't seen the image yet! I particularly love from:
"More light than her slight
form can hold" until "unbelievable
fecundity -"

Elisabeth said...

I too don't know the image, but knowing Terresa of Chocolate Chip Waffle, and reading your beautiful words here, Dave, pregnancy comes to mind.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Great poem Dave and fantastic to have you aboard the bus.Welcome!

Loved 'calyx of light' and 'coronal seeds'

Well thought out and complete excellent construction.

Why not stay onboard for next week?

Carl said...

Dave - What a treat to read it and then to see the image. Great fun. I may let the image percolate a little and take a stab at it. But first I am heading to the studio and locking the door to get some painting done.


Unknown said...

Very good! What a powerful opening, & I really like this moment:

On winds self-generated
coronal seeds

stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground...

I must say I find it practically impossible to write for a prompt, which is why I've not joined the Bus. The Bus does generate some interesting poetry, tho, & this is a most worthy entry.

Helen said...

Wonderful interpretation of a really great photo. I took a chance and wrote something too. It's on my Poetry Matters blog.

Shilpa said...

Hello Dave,
Awesome poetry. Especially the lines "by such she is transfigured
and by such we are blinded."
But in the line " part fairy and part flower" please correct my understanding. In "Part fairy" you are referring her to magic and "part flower", you are referring her to beauty?

And i also welcome you to read my response to the prompt at http://bonjour-a-tous.blogspot.com/

Kat Mortensen said...

Wow,that's really something, Dave!

Those last lines...really something.

I participate in the Poetry Bus regularly. You might like to read my offering today.


Madame DeFarge said...

Great as always Dave. Not familiar with the Poetry Bus, but glad that you caught it.

Kass said...

Captures that image so beautifully and in such an original way. I especially liked the inevitablity of her beauty and light.

"More light than her slight
form can hold

she's folded in to it -
and it will out."


Ronda Laveen said...

Burnt! Wow, awesome summation, Dave! A pleasure to read.

Karen said...

Welcome aboard! We have such fun on this rollicking ride!

You've joined us with a beauty of a poem, Dave. Many lovely lines here, among which I particularly favor these:

Calyx of light
too bright to look upon
wings of light,
light veiled in light.


So much beauty is invisible.

and this:

she's folded in to it -
and it will out.

Wonderful work, Dave.

* said...

Dave, you are an incredible poet.

I especially enjoyed these lines,

"More light than her slight
form can hold

she's folded in to it -
and it will out"

and the last single word stanza, "Burnt."

Powerful stuff.

Your entry has me begging to re-read it, reconsidering the picture and moving my thoughts out in places they hadn't been. What a treat. As well as the layers of meaning...exactly what I look forward to in reading poetry.

Hats off to you. Excellent poem.

Rinkly Rimes said...

You captured the mystery of it so well.

Dave King said...

Thanks a lot for those two comments. Always useful to know.

And again, many thanks. Something of a new v enture for me, so the feedback is doubly useful.

I see where the pregnancy idea comes from. It is not so far from the mark as the image might make it appear.

First of all, an apology: I had intended a comment and a link to your bloog, as it was you who put me on to The Poetry Bus at Chocolate Chip Waffle. It was only late yesterday that I realised I had neglected to do so. I shall certainly have a look at this week's bus. Many thanks for your gen erous comments.

Thanks a lot for the compliment and good luck with the painting. Shall we be seein g it?

I can go along with your commen ts about writing to a prompt - which is why I'v e not tried it until now. In the case the image was exceptional and I couldn't resist the challenge.Than ks for yor opening comments.

Thanks Helen . I shall go hav e a looksee.

Thanks for the compliment - and yes, in part! I also saw her as a magical figure who could be part anything, in this c ase the "an yhthing" was an exploding seed-head. Like a dandelion puff-ball, for example.

Thanks Poetikat, I shall certain ly be ov er to hav e a read.

Madame DeFarge
Thanks. My first encounter with it.

Thanks. Both generous and useful to know.

M mm, I didn't think too much about that. It just came - as they say. It presented itself.

Thanks muchly, b ut as I said above I am n ot totally convin ced about my abilikty to write to a prompt. I did enjoy doing so on this occasion, though I only saw it late and wrote the poem on Saturday, posted it on Sunday. Not too much thought, then.What I'm saying is if I come alon g I hope I don 't spoil the rollickingness!

Such praise. I'm n ot quite sure how to respond, except to say much thanks and very glad you enjoyed it. It does encourage me to try again on the bus.

Thanks a lot.

Batteson.Ind said...

loved the vibe of this poem and the character.. marvellous stuff!

Titus said...

I like the pace and construction of this, and some truly beautiful lines,

On winds self-generated
coronal seeds

stream between two worlds,
and where they fall to ground...

It made me look as the image closely again. Wonderful stuff!

Peter Goulding said...

Lovely lyrical piece, soft and fluid as the subject herself...

Dave King said...

Hi, welcome and thank you for visiting. Yourr comments are very much appreciated.

Many thanks for the visit and the kind comments.

Welcome to my blog. I appreciate the comment - I thought she was, too!

Niamh B said...

My favourite line is the bit about so much beauty being invisible, a magical journey of a poem.

Emerging Writer said...

I like the line more light than her slight form can hold. Lovely

Argent said...

I liked "and it will out." and that killer ending!

Enchanted Oak said...

Dave, you burn me (begging apologies of Sappho).
I'm late but on the Poetry Bus with something totally different from yours.
Sorry, fairies everywhere

Dave King said...

Welcome to my blog and thanks for visiting. Your comment is much appreciated.

Emerging Writer
A warm welcome to you. Much thanks for your comment.

Welcome to the blog and many thanks for stopping by to comment. It is greatly appreciated.

Enchanted Oak
Shall certainly be along to have a read. It was certainly a great prompt.