The moon petals the sea. Rose petals the sea. Stone sea. Stone petals. Rose petals of stone. Stone rising before me. Sea moves. How moves...
extract from the poem Koi by John Burnside All afternoon we've wandered from the pool to alpine beds and roses ...
Hello everyone who follows David King (My Father). On behalf of the family this post is to let you know that Dad sadly passed away, peacefu...
It all depends, you see, how you go about it. And that I cannot tell you, for that will be dictated by you and by you knowing your friends...
This post has in a sense been handed to me by two or three responses to my post On not getting it. In the course of discussing how a reader...
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
I could be treading water
through this dusky coloured air
lapping like an ocean at the boles of woodland trees
then merging with a wide expanse,
opaque and greenish hued,
of underwater gloom,
profoundly deep where sunlight filters through
and makes unreal suggestions of a surface high above.
Dark streaks of simmering Venetian red
suggest a dying sun where foliage
with sharp serrated edge
leans threateningly in.
And then the mystery, my friends:
the twisted frames of cycles on a bonfire not yet lit.
Smoke blackened, but not here - the foliage intact.
A skeleton... not human... no, not that... but
bird-like... and the bikes... in spiky set-up, weld
upon sly weld, to form,
in ill-defined resemblances, a pentagram
and Plato's broken line, an endless knot,
an enneagram, a sulfur, crescent, crux,
a ringstone and infinity - a stunning cycle crash!
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I read this over several times this morning. I shouldn’t try and read poems first thing in the morning because they just confuse me. Not that not all is clear but this is an intriguing piece. A title might help. There’s no reason why it has to have a title but I always think of a missing title as a lost opportunity. It has a nice sound. My only thought—I am here assuming that a kid was riding the bike (mainly because it’s a multiple pile-up and one doesn’t often seen adults out cycling en masse)—was that the language was a bit adult although I accept this could be an adult looking back on a childhood accident. As I just said, intriguing.
I'd publish a collection of your poems in a heartbeat.
All I can say is, if this was kids on bikes in a big pile up... ouch!
Intriguing write and very visual.
watched a guy on a cycle hit a car going like 50..it was head on...and one of the more nasty wrecks i have ever seen...man that bike was tore up....
I saw the big pile up of the bikes in The Tour de France last evening...you captured that sight well!
It is so interesting how things look when we do not know what they are or what they're import is - so that something like a crash - which is actually kind of horrible, can on its own leave a sculpture.
I actually think here about what Stockhausen said about 9/11 which, as a New Yorker, I found awful - what he said and the art- he was talking of it as a work of art - and he was horrible --but of course, he's an artist and didn't mean what came across - he was speaking in these strange abstract terms - anyway--this is what your poem brought to me - the pure geometry of an incident.
Time both compressed and stretched out all at once. I could read this one a bunch of times and find new images each time.
I feel very close to this, the growing increase force and precision of perception and image..
Like Jim, I read this over several times (though at sundown - I am late today). He mentioned intriguing. I am just going to come clean, Dave, and say it was confusing. I don't get it. I agree that a title would help. Could you possibly explain the origin of this poem? I will visit tomorrow to see if you have shed any light.
I wouldn't put a title on this poem at all. I, too, read it several times and to me it was a wonderful juxtaposition of nature and the man-made world. I agree with some of the posters that a bike pile-up is one of the interpretations but also a nature pile-up is possible.
That was a great piece. Many thanks.
Greetings from London.
Water and air, so simple elements, though your lines give me such rich image with many colours are mixed up...
Hi Dave, missed a poem from you on July 5. Unusual for you to miss a day. I saw a short note from you over at Theme Thursday. I do hope you are doing ok.
Ouch! I have to go back to the drawing board with this one. It was meant to be a walk in the woods in which I came across what looked like a bonfire and on top a construction crafted from old bikes and bike frames. I fancied I could make out signs and symbols in the twisted metal - some were almost there, somme took a lot of imagination.
Sorry I have to make one reply fit all comments, but I have n o broadband at the moment - and it's becoming a very long moment!
I will just add though, if I may, a word of thanks to Mary for her honesty.
Your poems are totally wicked. Can I ask for your permission? Can compile all your poems? Please.
Thanks for the explanation, Dave. Perhaps reworking a bit might be good; or even a title that gives the reader a clue. And I do generally try to be honest. I am not one to pretend to see the 'emperor's new clothes' when I don't. Especially with poets I have come to know well, and I would expect / hope for/ appreciate the same from them.
We are all fish in a bowl are we not. A force as mighty as Gabriel himself might see these deeps where we humans lurk as a place where even Angels fear to tread. I really enjoyed this one
I also made some poems during high school but with simple words only. I salute your poem and the choice of words.
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