beneath the downpipe yesterday's solid ice block tiny fragments now fracturing the early light sparkle there like diamonds the children's snowman runnelled by its melt water becomes a snow sphinx in the snow's slow thaw tracks suggest a beast on stilts half-crossed the front lawn stopped at the magnolia -- before melting like the snow spots on cars and doors the children have played snowballs - infectious frolic!
extract from the poem Koi by John Burnside All afternoon we've wandered from the pool to alpine beds and roses ...
The moon petals the sea. Rose petals the sea. Stone sea. Stone petals. Rose petals of stone. Stone rising before me. Sea moves. How moves...
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Monday, 28 January 2013
The Thaw : Tanka and Haiku
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ha. fun...the snow man becoming the snow sphinx...smiles...and the spots from the snow ball fight...we had a few of those at the end of the last week when we had snow...
Hi Dave, A wonderful depiction of the sag after a snowfall. Very specifically but sparely drawn.
One thought - In U.S., we don't tend to use "spots" in quite the same way with infection, more "rash," but this works so simply, and is so clever. But it's possible some U.S. people won't get that joke-- though they will appreciate the description. (And I may be wrong - I'm not really up on current American usage, this just my sense.)
Lovely picture in words. k.
Nice wintry poem, Dave. I especially like thinking of the melting snowman as a 'snow sphinx.' Perfect description for that phenomena.
An ode to winter...I loved it!
A great infectious frolic indeed, this poem is an impressionist painting.
Here lies winter 2013, captured forever in a portrait of words!
Should be immortalised in a time capsule, this, Dave.
Would be great to think someone would read it in, say, a hundred years from now; and could re-live this moment.
So, so, beautiful :)
You captured that moment of snow and ice melting perfectly. The snowman my daughter and her friend made in our garden resisted until the weekend. It's nothing but a puddle now. Many thanks.
Greetings from London.
I enjoyed a lot about the pictures which appear and disappear on the snow. Thank you, Dave!
Yeah. Very weird, the snow man looked. It reminded me how I'd read once that the sphinx shows signs of wear from water on its surface - not always been desert there, then.
I remember now. I did know that it's rash in the U.S. Should have remembered, but thanks for the reminder. I think maybe I'll change it.
Thanks Mary. Your comments are always appreciated.
Thanks for saying so. Good to hear from you.
Thanks. Thought you might have said a surrealist painting!
What a wonderful comment. Thank you SO much!
A Cuban in London
Tough guys these smowmen - wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of one! (Almost inspired myself to write a horror story, there!) Thanks.
Much thanks. Good to know what you think.
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